StarSparkle Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Then your best bet is to accept they're decision and if you can't live with it, try and detach yourself from them as it's just screw your head up. And no-one is worth screwing your head up over StarSparkle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick3330 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 However, it is better to have loved than to have never loved at all. Perhaps she doesn't want to let you down in the long term. In other words, she feels for you, but can tell you feel more, so can't keep up with your feelings, nor match them. That's not her fault, nor yours. That's eventual. Put her on a bungie rope, let he bounce, breathe, but don't let go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
absynthfairy Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 OOh this rings big clanging bells with me too - I had a very similar "relationship" for 5 years with my "ex" - we were the bestest of friends (and fortunately still are) and I utterly worshipped the ground he walked on - he completely changed my life and was by my side at my utter lowest moments - however there were lots of times he wasn't there and he would never ever commit to me, wouldn't hold my hand in public, would only ever tell me how he felt when he was either drunk or when I was so mad at him he thought I might actually walk... But anyway times changed - for me very drastically - I met my current lovely boyf and grabbed my chance of happiness with both hands and 2 months later left birmingham for sheffield and my "ex" behind....and I've never ever looked back....Thing is with a bit of space I did wonder how "in love" I actually was ever in with my "ex" and how much of it was the thrill of the chase and the constant "will they won't they" drama that seemed to follow us around....It's only now 2 and half years later he refers to ME as his ex - which is ironic since he'd never call himself my boyfriend when we were together....but we're now best friends again - chat every couple of weeks again and I feel I've kept hold of the best parts of our relationship. So I guess my advice is - based on my own experience - that if this works out for you then whahey well done hope you live happily ever after - the bad news is that its kinda like living with a time bomb - sooner or later she'll meet someone and commit in a second and you need to be prepared for that - so keep your eyes open and don't think for a second she's the only one for you...cos in all honesty she probably isnt...but I truly hope you survive with your heart intact... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bago Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 I guess at the end of the day, it boils down to whether this girl see you as a potential partner than just a good friend. One day, something may twig in her mind as to which one you are. The thing is, if you think you know her that well, and is certain of things between you. Then doesn't that count for something ? i.e. your true gut instincts about each other is pretty accurate. At least u have the mental compatibility thing going on. Which is pretty rare, if u think about it. It's down to u when u want to let her know... cos once she knows how you feel, then the dynamic may change too. Actions and reactions and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostrider Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 And no-one is worth screwing your head up over StarSparkle As im just starting to learn...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CockneyMafia Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 What if you are completely and utterly in love with someone, you worship the ground they walk on, get on like a house on fire, make each other laugh, care about one another, spend all your time with each other, and can't imagine them being with anyone else, but, they aren't willing or able to commit themself to you? I'm talking purely hyperthetically here obviously and it's not like I'm stuck in this dilemma at all myself......... Sounds like you've met someone I used to know!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CockneyMafia Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 My advice is tell them how you feel, expect the worse and be prepared to move on, or be told to move on. I had exactly the same situation a couple of years. It hurts like hell, but if you dont nip it in the bud it turns into a complete head f**k and you just end up torturing yourself. Out of interest, what reasons has this person given for not being able to, or not wanting to commit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarSparkle Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 And no-one is worth screwing your head up over Actually, I wrote this in a very cynical moment, so it comes over as more harsh than I meant it to. Sorry All I was trying to say, Yak, is that your current situation could potentially lead to your head really getting messed up, and obviously that's not a healthy place to be. StarSparkle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkabel Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Well my best mate decided he was going to go work on an oil rig in new zealand, turns out that was his way of saying 'tell me not to go and i'll know how you feel about me' i did the opposite told him to go even though i didn't want him to but didn't want to trap him. He filled in all the forms ready to send off and decided he may as well admit why he was going and it was basically to put distance between us because of his feelings for me, i admitted that night i'd felt the same all along but was just too scared to commit incase it went wrong and i not only lost my best friend but also my boyfriend. Anyway, end of the story is, we're together and he's staying put!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmr44 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Well my best mate decided he was going to go work on an oil rig in new zealand, turns out that was his way of saying 'tell me not to go and i'll know how you feel about me' i did the opposite told him to go even though i didn't want him to but didn't want to trap him. He filled in all the forms ready to send off and decided he may as well admit why he was going and it was basically to put distance between us because of his feelings for me, i admitted that night i'd felt the same all along but was just too scared to commit incase it went wrong and i not only lost my best friend but also my boyfriend. Anyway, end of the story is, we're together and he's staying put!! Awwww what a great story!! Its a good job he didnt just go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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