Wattsy Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 I need to let someone go but i'm finding this difficult cos i know theres no one else for me, I'm getting past it now fro new relationships. Ive lost an awful lot already this year and dont think i can take much more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YakQueudrue Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 Awwww..that was a nice message!! It most certainly was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostrider Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 I need to let someone go but i'm finding this difficult cos i know theres no one else for me, I'm getting past it now fro new relationships. Ive lost an awful lot already this year and dont think i can take much more. I know just how you feel. My world has been torn apart by recent events, its hard to hang on and not let yourself go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbob1989 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Sometimes writting it down is easier than saying it... thats what I found anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmr44 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Aw, I've been in the same kind of situation. I felt so much for that person and unfortunatley he didnt feel the same about me. I was only about 16 at the time, and he thought, because I liked him so much then it must mean that I wanted to get married and stuff I didnt at all! But then I did get engaged at 17 - to a different person, and then split up with them cos I couldnt handle the pressure. Oh god, why did I put myself through so many dodgy relationships! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarSparkle Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Oh boy, this is a difficult one... Nobody else can really advise you properly on what to do here, as only you know how strongly you feel about this person, how long you are willing to wait for her, and how much uncertainty you are able to cope with. To be honest, I reckon this 'situation' could go on indefinitely - it sounds like you've been living in this situation for some time now, and there's no sign of any change on the horizon. Your basically living in limbo. Unless a factor changes somewhere, it's likely this will carry on... and carry on... and carry on.... If you're ok with that, and can live in the hope that something will suddenly change someday, and you're just happy living your life with this woman in it as a dear and close friend, that's great. It seems to me, though, the fact you've brought this issue up on the Forum means that you've reached the stage where you really want/need some resolution? In which case, you're going to have to change something. The risk is, of course, that you lose what you have now. You obviously have a fabulous friendship - but are you getting what you really need from this relationship? Only you can judge that. If your friend knows how you feel, I don't know, maybe she values your friendship very highly, and doesn't want to risk losing that? Or maybe she's perfectly happy with the relationship as it is, in which case things are unlikely to change. It's all a bit a*se about face - you're practically living with the woman, yet you don't have a 'relationship'? It's down to what you can cope with - is it enough for you to be such great friends with her, or is that eventually going to do your head in? I'd say the time has come to take a risk somewhere, if you ever want the relationship to develop - perhaps have that dreaded 'conversation' with her about where she sees the two of you going, whether she sees a joint future, that sort of thing? That may jolt her out of any complacency she's perhaps fallen into, and make her realise how much she values having you in her life. It's a risk, of course it is - but all of life's a risk. Sorry to have gone on there - hope it's been of some use. Good Luck to you, anyway StarSparkle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YakQueudrue Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 Oh boy, this is a difficult one... Nobody else can really advise you properly on what to do here, as only you know how strongly you feel about this person, how long you are willing to wait for her, and how much uncertainty you are able to cope with. To be honest, I reckon this 'situation' could go on indefinitely - it sounds like you've been living in this situation for some time now, and there's no sign of any change on the horizon. Your basically living in limbo. Unless a factor changes somewhere, it's likely this will carry on... and carry on... and carry on.... If you're ok with that, and can live in the hope that something will suddenly change someday, and you're just happy living your life with this woman in it as a dear and close friend, that's great. It seems to me, though, the fact you've brought this issue up on the Forum means that you've reached the stage where you really want/need some resolution? In which case, you're going to have to change something. The risk is, of course, that you lose what you have now. You obviously have a fabulous friendship - but are you getting what you really need from this relationship? Only you can judge that. If your friend knows how you feel, I don't know, maybe she values your friendship very highly, and doesn't want to risk losing that? Or maybe she's perfectly happy with the relationship as it is, in which case things are unlikely to change. It's all a bit a*se about face - you're practically living with the woman, yet you don't have a 'relationship'? It's down to what you can cope with - is it enough for you to be such great friends with her, or is that eventually going to do your head in? I'd say the time has come to take a risk somewhere, if you ever want the relationship to develop - perhaps have that dreaded 'conversation' with her about where she sees the two of you going, whether she sees a joint future, that sort of thing? That may jolt her out of any complacency she's perhaps fallen into, and make her realise how much she values having you in her life. It's a risk, of course it is - but all of life's a risk. Sorry to have gone on there - hope it's been of some use. Good Luck to you, anyway StarSparkle Wise words, much appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdnaKrabappe Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Poor Yak. You got to let them go for them to decide if they want you sometimes. Someone I used to work with told me that when she was a barmaid this guy used to come into the pub most nights and ask her out. She always knocked him back as although she liked him a lot she wasn't interested. After about a year, he didn't turn up to the pub for a few weeks and she found herself wondering where he was. The next time he arrived was with a woman! The green eyed monster kicked in and my mate found herself reasserting her position! They've now been married 15 years. It's crap when you meet someone, you know you'd be good together, you have a good laugh together, feel completely relaxed in their company but one of you wants more and the other doesn't. I had a friend like this who kept "getting off with me" then pulling back, saying wonderful things and then retracting them. We were texting each other about twenty times a day. This went on for about a year and during that time I was completely devoted to him but then he met someone... I remember having a big row with him as his new housemate (He moved to london as well) said he was an idiot to not snap me up, I said 'oh he hates me', my friend got really drunkenlly cross and upset and caused a huge embarrassing scene in a restaurant... this eventually lead to a tearful hug and even then telling me... "it won't last with E* you know, I don't feel anything like for her what I feel for you." They've now been dating for 2 years, They have been living together for about a year and I've not seen him in 18 months but probably was best thing to get me over him. We talked a few months ago on msn when he finally admitted he had realised he'd not been fair on me, that he did use me although he didn't intend and because of our "history" that's why he's avoided seeing me even though as a mate he misses me like crazy... I think perhaps our paths will cross again and he'll always be there if i needed him and likewise back but I needed that space to get him out of my system. So you could try walking away; there are the two paths. One like the first story i told or the one like mine but at least you will get peace of mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YakQueudrue Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 Poor Yak. You got to let them go for them to decide if they want you sometimes. Someone I used to work with told me that when she was a barmaid this guy used to come into the pub most nights and ask her out. She always knocked him back as although she liked him a lot she wasn't interested. After about a year, he didn't turn up to the pub for a few weeks and she found herself wondering where he was. The next time he arrived was with a woman! The green eyed monster kicked in and my mate found herself reasserting her position! They've now been married 15 years. It's crap when you meet someone, you know you'd be good together, you have a good laugh together, feel completely relaxed in their company but one of you wants more and the other doesn't. I had a friend like this who kept "getting off with me" then pulling back, saying wonderful things and then retracting them. We were texting each other about twenty times a day. This went on for about a year and during that time I was completely devoted to him but then he met someone... I remember having a big row with him as his new housemate (He moved to london as well) said he was an idiot to not snap me up, I said 'oh he hates me', my friend got really drunkenlly cross and upset and caused a huge embarrassing scene in a restaurant... this eventually lead to a tearful hug and even then telling me... "it won't last with E* you know, I don't feel anything like for her what I feel for you." They've now been dating for 2 years, They have been living together for about a year and I've not seen him in 18 months but probably was best thing to get me over him. We talked a few months ago on msn when he finally admitted he had realised he'd not been fair on me, that he did use me although he didn't intend and because of our "history" that's why he's avoided seeing me even though as a mate he misses me like crazy... I think perhaps our paths will cross again and he'll always be there if i needed him and likewise back but I needed that space to get him out of my system. So you could try walking away; there are the two paths. One like the first story i told or the one like mine but at least you will get peace of mind! Thanks Edna, your second story sounds sooo familiar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazB Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Then your best bet is to accept they're decision and if you can't live with it, try and detach yourself from them as it's just screw your head up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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