My sister's unborn baby died- she's now gone on to have a lovely baby boy

[Ellybum 10]

I wouldn't tell her that you have told several thousend complete strangers about her loss, she might not appreciate it.

 

Thats hardly likely to be mentioned, is it?

 

Thats really sad news, Squeakyclean. All you can really do is listen. She probably wont want to hear your reasonings (as well meant as they're intended to be). She'll want to cry and grieve. Just be the shoulder she needs to cry on. My heart truly goes out to you all, especially your sister.

 

Ellybum

 

x

[sarah99 10]

I wouldn't tell her that you have told several thousend complete strangers about her loss, she might not appreciate it.

 

Well how helpful, amazing how sensitive people can be.

 

Its never easy knowing what to say, just you and your family being there is all you can do. x x

[deelightful3 10]

i think this is more common than we think because it has happened to quite a few people that i know or know of,over the years,it must be totally heartbreaking,i think you just have to be there for her if and when she wants to talk about it.

[JoeP 11]

If squeakyclean gets support form her fellow users on here, then that's great.

 

If people don't feel that it's appropriate for such support to be offered, then I suggest you don't bother posting and keep your opinions to yourself on this particular issue.

 

As my mum used to say, if you can't say 'owt nice, say nowt.

 

Joe

[Lone Wolf 10]

My deepest sympathies to your Sister and yourself. I wish you well.

[funkymiss 10]

Loads of love and strength for your sister, you and all of your family. This will be a very sad time for you for a while You'll be grieving too so look after yourself too. Funkymiss x

[squeakyclean 11]

Thank you all so much for your messages of support, it really does help. I think I am going to go over tomorrow night, once she is home from hospital.

 

Can I just say that I know there are some people that think that things like this should be kept private, well I know that this thread has helped me deal with this and therefore gave me strength to support my sister.

 

Thank you all once more

[flashbang 10]

Dont be put off by an unhelpful comment, we are here to help each other

we share each others laughter and grief. I have found great comfort from lots of peaple on sf. Take care my heart goes out to you and all your family.

xx

[cgksheff 44]

She will not want to hear this at this time, but everyone should be taught that, on average, only 1 in 3 conceptions reach full term and a succesful delivery.

[Titian 10]

I don't know if this helps either, but I know a few people it has happened to and they now have children.

[innout 10]

Just had to put something, i lost my daughter 16yrs ago, my ex-girlfriend did everything right, but she was born with complications, and we had to switch off her life support machine, the day after she was born. And what anybody says dosn't help, even to this day, she will remember the day for the rest of her life, you have just got to be there for her and listen and hold her when she needs it. My parents didn't approve of my relationship, so we never told them my girlfriend was expecting, and they still don't know. My brother is the only person in my family who know's, and when i went to see new neice a few weeks ago, my brother just patted my shoulder which showed me, he was thinking of me. That was enough. It was a sad but happy day, and she will have days like that, there will be days full of joy but also tinged with sadness for her loss. But don't forget her partner/husband's loss to. he will put on a front like me. But my heart goes out to her and her partner/husband.

[WTAW 10]

I am so sorry Squeakclean to hear your sad news. I would like to say to anyone though that has family or friends going through this situation, please do not send sympathy cards, they are just a reminder of what has been lost. This sadly happened to a friend of mine and I really couldn't bring my self to get a sympathy card. As the baby that had died was a girl I went looking through the new baby cards and was fortunate to find a pink card that was for a new baby, which happened to have an angel cradling the new born, i can't remember what the verse was inside but it wasn't all gushing just something simple like - 'a baby girl', it just seamt so appropriate to send, which I did with a little pink toy. The family in question were so grateful because I had acknowlegded that a baby did exist which is what most people are afraid to do in this situation. Remember, the baby will still be part of their lives even though they didn't get a chance to experience all the things that they would normally do with a baby that is fit and well. Squeakyclean, don't be afraid to ask your sister what the baby was like, what did she weigh, did she have hair, who did she look like etc, your sister will be happy that you are still interested to know these things.