My sister's unborn baby died- she's now gone on to have a lovely baby boy

[fruit&nut 10]

Originally Posted by squeakyclean

but I am worrying about what I will say to my sister when I do get to speak to her.

just be yourself,and give her,time,and support,and let her know your there for her,

my heart goes out to you all

[wheateruk 10]

This morning my sister went to see her midwife for a routine check- up and the midwife told her that the hearbeat was quite low so she should go to hospital. At the time we were not overly concerned as she was almost full term at 36 weeks, so we sort of expected them to deliver little Lucy or Jessica and everything would be ok.

 

I have just had a phone call from another sister telling that the baby has died in the womb and my sister has got to go through labour and deliver her. I just can't believe it, my sister is young and healthy ,doesn't smoke and has had a troublefree pregnancy.

 

To make matters worse, I live 70 miles away from her, although most of my family live close to her. I just feel so numb at the moment, but I am worrying about what I will say to my sister when I do get to speak to her:sad:

 

i know exactly how you feel the exact same thing happened to my little sister last year, although we arnt that close is still destroyed me

[Birth-Peace 10]

Im so sorry. Loosing a baby is terrible at any time but I cant imagine how hard this is for your sister and all your family.

 

Im so,so sorry.

[hmr44 10]

The loss of any baby is unbelievably hard and I do understand what her and you are going through. It destroys you and you blame youself for something that you cant change. It will sadden her, and everybody else involved, but you have to be there for one another, talk about it if you can - dont bottle it up cos it'll only come out at big bursts when you're least expecting it.

 

My thought are with you all and I hope you can get through this tough time.

 

Helen xx

[lint 10]

how sad for you all my thoughts are with you all

[BoroughGal 10]

What I meant was that she might not want you to tell everyone about it, she might want to do that when shes ready to.

 

Good job that she's anonymous and no-one knows her. And she probably doesn't come on here herself. I think that the OP was the one wanting comfort and had no intention of abusing someone's privacy.

 

I'm not being nasty,

 

Yeah you are Nick. That's what you do.

[squeakyclean 11]

Thank you all again, especially for some of the lovely pm's. It was never my intention to broadcast the news, I do realise that the forum is widely used but I assumed that people who chose to read it may have some advice.

 

My sister do not use this board as she lives in East yorkshire, if she did use it then maybe I wouldn't have posted this, but who knows, as some of the reponses have been a great comfort to me and helped me to support my family, so it may help my sister too.

 

nature has dealt us a cruel blow and now we have to be strong and deal with the funeral etc.

[sugarnspice 10]

Oh God this made me cry. I am so, so, so, so, so sorry. Nobody should ever have to experience such pain.

 

If you ever need a chat or a scream, I am a good listener and am here if you need me.

 

Really really sorry. So sad. xxxxx

[peakma 10]

how awful,so sorry to hear your sad news.The same happened to my cousins wife last year, she is a young healthy non-smoker,and it was her first pregnancy.She was about 7 months pregnant,and noticed the baby wasn't moving ,so went straight to the hospital to check it out,where they found no heart beat and the baby had died.I just cannot imagine how awful that must be,every mothers worst nightmare.But if thats not bad enough ,they don't usually deliver the baby straight away,they have to induce the labour with a pessary which took a couple of days,then deliver the baby.They chose to have a funeral which I thought was very brave(if it was me I would just want to hide away) so the next day after going through all this hell, they had to go shopping for a tiny premature baby suit to dress him in in his coffin.At the funeral they said how they had spent a couple of days with him at the hospital,(with him dead)bathed him and dressed him and were just around him,and took photos-I couldn't really understand this,seems a bit weird,but they said those couple of days with him,were the happiest of thier life.So so sad,but everyone needs to deal with things in thier own way.They sent him off with a lovely funeral,which gave a slight closure to the situation to people distant from the situation like me.But for them he will always be part of thier family,and I think time is the only healer of grief(something like this never goes away).I think the funeral was the right thing to do,partly because ,in situations like this nobody knows what to say,everyone wants to offer thier sympathy,and it's an awkward sfeeling for all ,so they can all get it out of the way at once,and the bereaved parents,don't have to have it as the first things friends and family say to them for the following weeks -if that makes sense,rather than it having to be the first topic of conversation,when ever they see anyone.Good luck to your sister,nature can be so wonderful,but so cruel also.

[Lindseyw 10]

 

 

Yeah you are Nick. That's what you do.

 

Ouch - even I felt that !!

[honeybee 10]

I am so sorry. My thoughts go out to you all. Cannot begin to imagine how you are all feeling.

[PatzB 10]

So very sorry for all your family, I like most other people that have read this am crying

 

My thoughts are with you and your sister

 

Px