Okay.. time for me to have a whine and a moan about my ex.

[medusa 16]

You're allowed to get frustrated with him fox- especially if you're bearing the parental burden without support from him.

 

You made the children together and they're a life long responsibility- you can't just opt out because it's easier. Too many people think that you can.

[SHsheff 10]

Sorry... that was a real rant.. Im not usually that cross

 

We're in PMland now.

[fox20thc 10]

I'm chilled.. cheers SH

[fox20thc 10]

you can't just opt out because it's easier. Too many people think that you can.

 

Oh but Medusa, (not having a go at dads in general) you know alot of them do.

[willman 10]

perhaps a response such as

"thats fine the kids would prefer it anyway 'cos u don't spend much time with them anyway,and they are the ones that need to be considered."

 

 

(i really hate dads that think maintenance is the be all & end all of parental support.don't they ever want to "treat" them just because they are their children and not because they have too)

[Tricky 10]

It seems to me that you could all do with a re-think about his contact time.

 

He's trying to be a step-dad which is tough enough and is finding that his current committment to both families is too much and he hasn't got any time for himself to unwind. Two into one won't go and it's your boys who are getting squeezed out which is doubly bad as boys especially need a good male role model.

 

The current proposal is truly awful with your children getting shunted from house to house all weekend so my advice would be to change the arrangements so that he no longer sees them every week but makes up for it by actually spending time with them when he does see them and maybe has them for an extended period of time during the school holidays.

 

Good luck.

[fox20thc 10]

It seems to me that you could all do with a re-think about his contact time.

 

He's trying to be a step-dad which is tough enough

No he's the daddy, not stepdaddy

 

The current proposal is truly awful with your children getting shunted from house to house all weekend so my advice would be to change the arrangements so that he no longer sees them every week but makes up for it by actually spending time with them when he does see them and maybe has them for an extended period of time during the school holidays.Good luck.

 

Ta Tricky, I have tried that, I asked him last January if he could schedule some of his annual holiday to coincide with the childrens school holidays. As far as he is concerned his contact is merely for weekends and doesnt wish to deviate from the arrangement. Apart from the latest announcement that is

[Tricky 10]

No he's the daddy, not stepdaddy

 

Sorry, I misunderstood.

 

Ta Tricky, I have tried that, I asked him last January if he could schedule some of his annual holiday to coincide with the childrens school holidays. As far as he is concerned his contact is merely for weekends and doesnt wish to deviate from the arrangement. Apart from the latest announcement that is

 

What are his thoughts about seeing them less often? e.g alternate weekends perhaps.

[clarefl 10]

Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine..

 

I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening.

 

Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem.

 

Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday.

 

.... still not a problem.

 

NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night.

 

Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here.

 

Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore )

 

hello Fox

my heart goes out to you 100% because i know exactly how you feel ..... your above thread is almost exact to my situation with my ex ..... he's always promising my son things and they never happen and more often than not dumping him on one of his relatives when hes suppose to be taking care of him ...... nightmare !!!

 

clare x

[bladesufc1 10]

No such luck, this is EVERY saturday

 

tell him to jump for it!! if he cant stay in on a saturday night then god help him. it's not as if he cant go out friday night

[minnime 10]

tell him to jump for it!! if he cant stay in on a saturday night then god help him. it's not as if he cant go out friday night

would you stay in for someone special hey;)