fox20thc Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine.. I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening. Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem. Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday. .... still not a problem. NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night. Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here. Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helenbean Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 :) Hey thats ok so long as he takes it inturns so you get to go out on a saturday nite:heyhey: Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine.. I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening. Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem. Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday. .... still not a problem. NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night. Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here. Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox20thc Posted September 3, 2006 Author Share Posted September 3, 2006 :) Hey thats ok so long as he takes it inturns so you get to go out on a saturday nite:heyhey: No such luck, this is EVERY saturday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 He really isn't carrying through with his end of the bargain, is he? Not just for your benefit either- the children need their dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox20thc Posted September 3, 2006 Author Share Posted September 3, 2006 Thats my worry Med, the oldest one says he's not bothered which isn't very promising on the father and son front is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHsheff Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 It's the old, [him] 'I have RIGHTS to see my kids!' that somehow changes to [you] 'OI! You have RESPONSIBILITIES to your kids too!'. It's more than fair that you two have the kids for every other Sat night. Fair to you (you have them for the rest of the time, ahem), fair to him (it's good to spend time with your children) and fair to the children (whaay, it's dad's tonight so we get to watch dvds and stay up late)! It has to be sorted out - he (probably) has no idea that it's 'not fair'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helenbean Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 thats not fair at all this sound like ' I love my kids when it suits me' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox20thc Posted September 3, 2006 Author Share Posted September 3, 2006 SHsheff, you are living in the real world, you know thats not the way he would ever think. Only consolation is he has already told the kids of the new arrangement and they seem thrilled to bits (If the boot were on the other foot I'd be gutted) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHsheff Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 thats not fair at all this sound like ' I love my kids when it suits me' Ah, I didn't mean that it would sound fair to an outsider. I was seeing it from his point of view! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHsheff Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 SHsheff, you are living in the real world, you know thats not the way he would ever think. Only consolation is he has already told the kids of the new arrangement and they seem thrilled to bits (If the boot were on the other foot I'd be gutted) And, hurrah for that (re the kids being pleased). However, you, fox, need (imo) to apply a little grown-up pressure on him. As I said, the flip side of 'rights' is 'responsibilities'. He has a responsibility (imo) to have them at least once a fortnight on a Saturday night. If need be, fox, you might have to play the weeping 'I can't cope! You'll have to have them full time!' card......that will probably sober him up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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