Mr Bloom Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I suppose if you have been conditioned from birth to expect to marry a cousin you've never met it probably doesn't sound too bad a deal. Your comment has really played on my mind today. It is hard for some of us to imagine what effect arranged marriages have on young people - both male and female, unless we witness it. I find the whole concept akin to slavery, I'm afraid, and feel that no one should have the right to force anyone in to a marriage. I feel there is an awful lot of pressure on families to ensure their children are married by a certain age. I know young people who have been perfectly happy until the realisation kicks in that they are going to be married soon and they become shadows of their former selves. I know girls who have run away to avoid arranged marriages. I think it must be heartbreaking and agonizing for some young people, who see their peers in relationships of their choice, and wish for the same but know they can not have this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mafya Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Your comment has really played on my mind today. It is hard for some of us to imagine what effect arranged marriages have on young people - both male and female, unless we witness it. I find the whole concept akin to slavery, I'm afraid, and feel that no one should have the right to force anyone in to a marriage. I feel there is an awful lot of pressure on families to ensure their children are married by a certain age. I know young people who have been perfectly happy until the realisation kicks in that they are going to be married soon and they become shadows of their former selves. I know girls who have run away to avoid arranged marriages. I think it must be heartbreaking and agonizing for some young people, who see their peers in relationships of their choice, and wish for the same but know they can not have this. You are talking about forced marriages, arranged marriages are totally different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 You are talking about forced marriages, arranged marriages are totally different. So talking about arranged marriages,who does the arranging its the parents and familys I presume.What if the girl dosent like whos chosen does she have a say in the matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bloom Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 You are talking about forced marriages, arranged marriages are totally different. In that case then, many marriages that I have heard referred to as 'arranged marriages' must be in fact 'forced marriages' because in my experience this is what I have witnessed happening. Also, in my experience there are many types of 'arranged marriages' which vary greatly from family to family and some young people do get more say in the outcomes than others but the bottom line is that many young people will not be able to make their own free decision on the matter and will not get a free choice of a partner nor are they able to have relationships that prepares them for marriage, unlike the overwhelming majority of their peers. For some, the only chance they have of a free choice is to lose all ties with their family. When you are are growing up in Britain and your friends are choosing boyfriends/girlfriends and husbands/wives/life partners based on how they 'feel' about the person and are attracted to them and at the same time you are being withdrawn from that process, and know that you couldn't possibly act on any feelings you might have towards another person, it is extremely difficult, and sometimes soul destroying for some young people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxster Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Because they're children, and even though children sometimes do terrible things, it doesn't mean that we as a country can turn our backs on our responsibilities towards them. Surely it's the responsibility of their parents not the state. I heard these are Grade A students; says a lot about our education system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinz Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Surely it's the responsibility of their parents not the state. Let's do away with Social Services, NSPCC, Samaritans, Action for children, CEOP, Childline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxster Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Let's do away with Social Services, NSPCC, Samaritans, Action for children, CEOP, Childline. There's one view although not mine. Seen some interviews on the TV of some of the children's parents or siblings and the comments appear to be centred around why didn't the police or the authorities act sooner; what I haven't heard is what did the actual parents do to prevent this in the first place. Surely the cause needs addressing and not just the effect. Sitting in ones bedroom chatting with all your Facebook friends doesn't seem that the parents even knew what they were doing; why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxy lady Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 There's one view although not mine. Seen some interviews on the TV of some of the children's parents or siblings and the comments appear to be centred around why didn't the police or the authorities act sooner; what I haven't heard is what did the actual parents do to prevent this in the first place. Surely the cause needs addressing and not just the effect. Sitting in ones bedroom chatting with all your Facebook friends doesn't seem that the parents even knew what they were doing; why? Surely social services would normally only become involved if there is a problem with the parenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L00b Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) You are talking about forced marriages, arranged marriages are totally different.Like one could ever be condoned over the other in liberal western societies. I suppose when one talks about torture, sticking bamboo sticks under fingernails must appear totally different to waterboarding or sleep deprivation. Or, when one talks about executing, a firing squad must appear totally different to beheading or torching. Surely it's the responsibility of their parents not the state.It's the responsibility of both, unsurprisingly. Parents for keeping an eye on what their kids get up to, the State for monitoring and cracking social media recruiters'/activists' heads. These girls no doubt were groomed online by European-based sympathisers, then helped to travel on fake passports supplied by those same European-based sympathisers, maybe even a local (UK) group. Tons and tons and tons of (published) evidence, articles and testimonies about these networks, how they operate, and how they are being actively pursued by EU and US police/intelligence. And many arrests amongst these in France, Belgium, Germany and elsewhere in the wake of the Paris shootings in January 2015 and that is still ongoing. It doesn't seem to be of much interest to British mass media, however. I heard these are Grade A students; says a lot about our education system.What does it say about our education system? Edited February 25, 2015 by L00b Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxster Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 "It's the responsibility of both, unsurprisingly." - that does surprise me that its both. Must have been happening covertly when I grew up but then again we didn't have social media when I was 15. "What does it say about our education system?" - that grade A students can be coerced into leaving their families without being taught the dangers of may well happen. I am assuming that the parents didn't/couldn't make them aware nor did/could their schools. I remember my mother telling me not to get into a car with strangers; I never did, that was enough for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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