Alcoblog

I'm 26 off 'elite'! Maybe just another few months to go!

Troublemaker. Oops! … sorry, I presume you mean four star having re-read your post. Personally, out of four stars, I'd give 'em four too!

Watched Radiohead last night and watching the same again right now (recorded it). Absolutely top band!

Does this include the 'ghost Dakota' from the 'Strange and mysterious happenings' thread, or does it just haunt the skies of Chatsworth?

Without being pedantic, the machine scarifies the road surface, not planes it. As such, it's called a 'scarifier'. That's what they used on my road and every other one I've noticed anyway.

Two? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Beards are for the brain-dead so far as I'm concerned. Either that, or recently lobotomised. Quite a lot of cyclists seem to like to mix lycra with goatee too, which explains quite a bit. Probably trying to look like whiskery Wiggins, just to look 'different'. Sad.

I'll take this as a compliment, thank you very much. Anyway, just telling you what I saw, just the same kinda reportage stylie as your 'sighting'. I'm certainly not calling you a fool … no siree. ---------- Post added 21-06-2017 at 23:27 ---------- Could well be. You need a massive array of brake lights on something like NCC 1701 to cope with warp 10 to 0 in half a second. ---------- Post added 21-06-2017 at 23:28 ---------- Less of the 'old', thank you kindly.

I believe you! I recently saw the ghost of the USS Enterprise circling over T'Asda on T'Cross. It circled for what seemed five minutes, but in reality, maybe only four and a half, four and three quarters at a push … maybe a tad more. All of a sudden Spock ghost and Kirk ghost beamed down into t'fruit and veg aisle, picked up some spring onions and a banana, then, and I kid you not … de-materialised without even paying! What a fine how-do-you-do, I thought to myself. Next thing, ghost NCC 1701 shoots off at warp 1.5 in a semi-iridescent spooky way! If anyone else sees this, please let me know as I plan to give chase in the Alcocopter™.

Yeah, pretty easy this one actually … basically your wife is using knock off washing powder designed for the southern hemisphere. You see, in the northern hemisphere, water goes down the plughole/drain in a clockwise direction and washing powders are designed to compensate for this by producing an equal force in the opposite direction. Thus, a state of equilibrium ('stasis', if you will) is created inside the washing machine, allowing for trouble free laundering of soiled fabrics, be they left or right handed. By using southern hemisphere/right handed washing powder, all sorts of mayhem ensues and the very fabric (no pun) of space and time goes all doolalley! Either anything left handed just vanishes, or, in extreme cases, centipetal force is created which can cause the entire contents, end even the washing machine to go missing! This was proven in 1943 in Philadelphia, when the US navy used right handed Daz Ultra Brite washing powder on board the USS Eldridge in a clandestine experiment to speed up the No4 cycle of navy uniform laundering … the entire ship disappeared! Not to be deterred, the navy took advantage of this, shortly after inventing the appropriately named 'Dazzle Ships' and painting them all stripey just to make them easily stand out like a sore thumb. So basically, your wife is using southern hemisphere washing powder which causes the 'double right clockwise' effect, causing all right handed socks (or any other paired garment for that matter) to either vanish, or go down the drain double speed, double clockwise. Hence, no right socks! Under no circumstances use the right handed washing powder any more … it's not beyond the realm of reason to see that your house is at risk of vanishing, let alone a few socks! Easily explained by logic.

Who knows what goes on in the mind of a duck?

I looked all over the place to have my 2CV soda blasted and came up with nowhere in the immediate vicinity. The OP's HY van will suffer very badly if any other kind of blasting is used as all the panels will warp. Soda blasting was first used/developed to clean the Statue of Liberty as it will not affect the metal whatsoever … just bog standard baking soda that explodes (in a microscopic way) on impact. I'm going to use an industrial paint stripper when I get round to it … I'm welding in (very many) new panels at the mo (not patching). Certainly not Nitromors which is completely useless and a waste of money. Once stripped, a quick coat of acid etch primer which can be done without need of a spray booth by myself. Having done considerable research, this is the way to go barring soda blasting. The more of this work is done by the owner (tedious/time consuming), the cheaper the end result will be, although 3-6 grand seems about right for a re-spray, dependent on finish, although there are savings which could be made. To be honest, much of this/all could be recouped if the vehicle is sold on, as finish is what people look for/expect with such a vehicle. Look on ebay at ones for sale. I think they're fantastic.

A van such as this is far too good to hand paint or cover with vinyl (which would be practically impossible due to all the corrugated panels). As you (OP) know, these vans are very much sought after and fetch top money, so a decent paint job is well worth the investment. If it were car sized, I'd recommend John Bee, but not sure if they could accommodate a van. Is it the short or long wheelbase? I know 2CV City in Bradford deal with these vans, so maybe they could help?

Not on the Bolehills it isn't Mr Bloke. If you mistook dog poo for snakes, it'd resemble that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana climbs down into the Egyptian tomb. Unless you own a large leather whip, I'd strongly advise people to steer clear of the Bolehills, especially considering there's no Lost Ark in the immediate vicinity (I've checked).

I thought I'd spotted a dead adder that appeared as if it'd accidentally slithered at speed into a concrete kerb stone near the Bolehills a couple of weeks ago (thus rendering it deceased). Turned out to be an extraordinarily long dog poo on closer inspection.

Not necessarily the air conditioning at fault then … If it was in Crete, you may have slept through a large volcanic eruption (as is common over there). Obviously, the 'stiff neck' could've been caused by masonry (such as a church steeple) falling on it without you noticing, and the 'load of rubbish' was most probably volcanic lava (Not to be confused with 'volcanic larvae' which is of course the pupa of the fabulous 'Santorini Moth'.

I have twelve air conditioning units at Area 51 and a Half™ … they're called 'windows'.

There's a place you can swim starkers in the river Wye, halfway between Ashford in the Water and Bakewell. It gets even wilder when the ducks start chasing you, I can tell you!

He got a knighthood for selling push bikes? Just shows how meaningless these awards are then.

With you on that! Billy's been having people in stitches for donkeys years and fully deserves the honour. Tough if people don't understand his humour, their loss. Certainly more worthy than Sir Bradley Lycrabottom who managed to pedal bits off metal tube round a course a little less slowly than anybody else. Having said that, these honours mean very little now anyway.

I sat down to watch the first episode after being conned by all the hype … I turned it off after about thirteen seconds. I know this is fiction, but really? The opening sequence plainly showed a Volvo doing about 40mph whilst being chased by Police (I presume they were Police, I didn't get that far) in what was obviously either computer generated, or just speeded up film! Talk about stretching the bounds of credibility … everyone knows Volvo's can't do more than 5mph. It may have stood up if it showed the Volvo going flat out at 5mph with the Police running after it (with their legs tied together). Rubbish!

I turned on to see that Len Goodman bloke (strictly tedious), talking to an engineer at a power company about a generator they have that creates electricity from steam by burning scrap wood. 'So, without this generator, we wouldn't have the light bulb?' he said … I turned off. I'm sure the Beeb could find people who know what they're talking about if they tried a bit.

I'm battling with it as I type Mr Bloke! Not as easy as it appears!

I have no problem with the electric scissors *_ash_* (just used 'em for your username), I just need how to do things. How do you do the (little, I'll grant you that) smiley face? I NEED to know NOW or I won't be able to sleep tonight. I'm not an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters here. I can't just sit here with my left hand on the Alt button, whilst my right types in every conceivable combination of numbers in the entire universe can I? I sincerely hope Ms Macbeth comes to my assistance pronto. Calling Ms Macbeth, calling Ms Macbeth, do you read? … come in please …

Yep … that's about right! Love this. Is it your own website?