Advice please on relationship issue. What would you do?

[999tigger]

If people don't trust each other enough that they have to read each others text messages then somewhere along the line the relationship will fail.

 

Probably, but sticking your head in the ground and not dealing with the issue will destroy them anyway. I'm not into reading other peoples phones, but the idea that by not looking means there is no problem is barmy. Clearly they have a lot to sort out.

[mediumfast]

Probably, but sticking your head in the ground and not dealing with the issue will destroy them anyway. I'm not into reading other peoples phones, but the idea that by not looking means there is no problem is barmy. Clearly they have a lot to sort out.

 

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it,does it make a sound ?"

[999tigger]

If he is cheating, then her not knowing about it doesnt extinguish the fact he is cheating.

Stick your head in the ground all you like.

[Jonny5]

My job is 50 miles away from sheffield. I think I might sign on for a few agencies in Sheffield...... So the general consensus is that the partner and the relationship ain't worth fighting for?

He's an insecure loser with no respect for you. He'll never change. The gentleman charm is an act. You should have nothing to further to do with him. Turn away and don't look back!

 

Good luck!!

[web1]

Not very often I comment on general section, but as he is 49( I think), I assume,possibly incorrectly, that the lady in question is also of a mature age.

If this is the case then I can't believe she is asking for advice, I reckon its more confirming what she knows she has to do.

Simply put. The guy has led you a merry dance and has been making hay and keeping the sun shining. Get away now and fast, life is far too short to be wondering whether or not your doing the right thing, if your unsure, your not, end of. He's playing you like a fiddle love, leave asap.

Get away and get happy, join some clubs, go walking,dancing, singing, swinging, anything you feel like, but this clown isn't worth it.

 

Are people really this naive?

[tinfoilhat]

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it,does it make a sound ?"

 

Yes it does. In the same way, if I'm banging your wife and you don't know about it, I'm still banging your wife. We don't know the full details but he seems to be lying about the mysterious DT.

[sheffandy]

He's an insecure loser with no respect for you. He'll never change. The gentleman charm is an act. You should have nothing to further to do with him. Turn away and don't look back!

 

Good luck!!

 

Totally agree. Cut him loose. Something is not right.

[ArhLass]

Themissus, the fact you are asking for strangers opinions suggests that you know the answer to your question but find it hard to take the next inevitable step. It will take an awfully big, constant effort to keep your self esteem and everything on an even keel each time he gets a text or picks his phone up, or is a bit late coming in etc etc Liars will always manipulate things so that YOU appear to be the unreasonable one should you complain about their behaviour. I would start making an escape plan..... Good Luck whatever you choose to do

[restauranter]

If you love him then stay. He might change in the future as he feels insecure with you atm.

[SportsTrophy]

Sounds like the guy is a player. Keeping your options open is a good thing in many cases but not when it comes to relationships. It could come over as controlling if you tell him to drop the game so it has to come from him to stop.

 

As he hasn't done this should be enough evidence to guide you to a conclusion that his efforts are not directed towards your relationship. Have a look at cognitive dissonance at how the brain justifies things when you know something is wrong.

 

Communication is the key to a good relationship so you both need the ability to discuss difficult matters and then carry out what is necessary

Edited November 16, 2014 by SportsTrophy