BEDROCK Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I would like to be advised by any proof reading experts who also specialise in all forms of grammar and literacy for opinions on these please. My Spec Letter... I write to you with vested interest to be considered for any customer facing positions you may have, which will provide the ideal career opportunity for me to gain a stable Part-Time role on a permanent basis. To complement the selling points emphasized within this letter, I have enclosed a copy of my resume for further related information. I am currently seeking work in your organisation as it matches my passion to deliver excellent value and service in addition to selling products of personal significance. I have achieved a wealth of customer service experience, spanning a broad range of industries and have often been praised for my tireless dedication. I will maximise my transferable skills including my personal qualities and pride myself on a job well done. While having ambition and an industrious attitude, my presence will be invaluable by collaborating efforts to boost your business needs. I am confident and assertive with excellent team playing and problem solving skills. Being quick to learn new skills and demonstrate product knowledge, I will understand information with a view to meeting objectives. I have also proven to be reliable, versatile and able to work autonomously. To satisfy any curiosity, I am able to start work immediately and am more than happy to undergo any training required in order to be as fully prepared as possible for the role in hand. I welcome the chance to meet you personally to present my excellent social skills and to discuss with you in detail, the relevant skills I have for possible future vacancies. ---------- Post added 03-03-2013 at 00:16 ---------- My Cover Letter for a specific advertised role... The position you have advertised for the role of Menswear Sales Assistant is of great interest to me, I believe that I would be an excellent fit within your organisation based on the core vision of your mission statement and the quality of products you produce. I am currently seeking work in your organisation as it matches my passion to deliver excellent value and service in addition to selling products of personal significance. I understand what is required to meet the job criteria and am convinced that I will add huge benefits in terms of revenue, dedication and public relations. I will maximise my transferable skills including my personal qualities and pride myself on a job well done. While having ambition and an industrious attitude, my presence will be invaluable by collaborating efforts to boost your business needs. I am confident and assertive with excellent team playing and problem solving skills. Being quick to learn new skills and demonstrate product knowledge, I will understand information with a view to meeting objectives. I have also proven to be reliable, versatile and able to work autonomously. To satisfy any curiosity, I am able to start work immediately and am more than happy to undergo any training required in order to be as fully prepared as possible for the role in hand. I welcome the chance to meet you personally to present my excellent social skills and to discuss with you in detail, the relevant skills I have for this life changing position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Sorry, I'm on my way to bed, so don't have time to do a proper job of this... but you're overselling yourself for a shop floor sales role. You're using big words that can be misinterpreted as being too big for your boots You'd be better off cutting out much of the waffle and being more specific about achievements in previous roles I am currently seeking work in your organisation as it matches my passion to deliver excellent value and service in addition to selling products of personal significance. I understand what is required to meet the job criteria and am convinced that I will add huge benefits in terms of revenue, dedication and public relations. I will maximise my transferable skills including my personal qualities and pride myself on a job well done.none of this conveys that you've actually understood what they require of the person fulfilling the role. It could be cut and pasted from a job application website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpeedwayDan Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 They're both pretty bad. You should tailor each letter for each application too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEDROCK Posted March 3, 2013 Author Share Posted March 3, 2013 I have listed my achievements on my CV so do not want to be repeating myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marx Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 This is a Poe? ---------- Post added 03-03-2013 at 01:00 ---------- My stringent assets enable me to fit any position in a chameleon like way, unless I am required to stand-out from the crowd, in which case I can look like the Pope on speed doing Kylie at a Mardi Gras. My puritan work ethic enables me to find an extra hour each day, echoing Robert Plant’s sentiments on his third outing with Led Zeppelin, and like Robert, I agree that sleep is for wimps but I am able to manage this without inhaling copious amounts of white powder. You owe it to your pension plan to employ me in some capacity within your organisation. Even if I don’t increase your profit margin, my wit and repartee will attract converts from miles around and keep your staff entertained and willing to walk the extra mile for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love2print Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 ...will be invaluable by collaborating efforts to boost your business needs. I am confident and... I agree that your confident, but I think too confident. I find both a bit over the top. Yes, highlight your strengths but I think you have gone a bit overboard. For example; "praised for my tireless dedication" and "my presence will be invaluable". Alternatives could be "I am dedicated and hardworking" and "I believe my presence would be of value to your organisation". Or something similar. I think highlighting previous learnt transferable skills, like window dressing, customer service/people skills, being able to use a till, cashing up, might be more useful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karis Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Im on my way out as well, but my first impressions: 1. They're very wordy. 2. You're trying way too hard. 3. There's not so much as a hint of humility in them. It would turn me cold as an employer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeeCee Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Your covering letter should be brief and to the point, if you are sending a cv then all your skills should be in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez2 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Too formal and pompous. In the UK its a Curriculm Vitae not a resume. The covering letter needs to be attention grabbing and show a less formal side of you that the CV doesn't show. I would be looking for someone with a much more friendly personality for a customer facing role. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indizine Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Cover letters aren't there so you can have an extra five minutes telling them how great you think you are. It's merely an introduction to say thanks for reading the CV, point out 1-2 exceptional facts, and close on availability for interview. The points could be something like a qualification that is underway and will be achieved in X months, something about the job role you are particularly highly suited to, e.g a sales role and in your current job you were awarded the 'best salesperson of the year' for 2012. Don't add in the cover letter what's already mentioned in the CV unless its a point really worth mentioning and expanding on. One thing a lot of people overlook in job apps is to read the job description and ensure your application reflects what they will want you to do in their job. Employers couldn't really care less that you were a great storekeeper in the last job when they want you picking and packing on a line in the new job, so take a quality from the old job and show how it would be useful in the new job. eg 'as a storekeeper I was very methodical and diligent therefore I feel these qualities would be very useful in the job I have applied for as a line picker and packer in your warehouse.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.