Should i go see my real dad?

[sirglyn]

Your aunt sounds ok.Maybe she might be willing to act as an intermediary for you.If I were you I'd go for it.All the very best to you.

[crookesey]

Well I didn't, he met a German woman when he was on national service, he abandoned me as a small child, and of course my mother. He mostly failed to pay his £1.00 p/w maintainance, and never attempted to make contact with me.

 

I met him by accident whilst completing a credit agreement for him, and never said a word to him. I later worked with his brother in law, my uncle I suppose, he obviously knew who I was, but never said anything, other than attempting to wreck a promotion opportunity for me.

 

I would walk through walls of fire for my son, fortunately his mother and I have been together for 34 years, but had our marriage failed, my son would still have been my son, and therefore my blood and my responsibility.

 

Do as you will, and I wish you well with your choice.

[snuffty]

Im 21.

I feel if he wanted anything to do with me he would of tried to contact me, but he hasnt so far.I hear I may have sisters so would be interested in meeting them, I dont want to talk to my mum about it, I dont feel i can. I love my mum to death but dont feel comfortable opening up to her.

 

If i go see him I wont necesarrily talk to him just to see what he looks like, I have seen pictures and apparantly he looks like my brother. I dont want to write a letter because I dont know what to put. .

 

hi maz!

firstly huni i do feel for you because iv been where u are right now and i was confused and inundated with mixed opinions from people meaning well but all i can say is this is a discion that only u can make.. but what i will say is that valuble time has passed and lost an cant ever be replaced.

my dad left us when i was 7 and trust me hun it was a very turbulant volatile relationship and then BANG my son found him on friends reunited last year an im 43yrs old, OMG should i sholudnt i ahhhhh confusion, mixed emotions .. but thank god i made the right discion and i contacted him an after a few months of chatting on phone we travelled to porstmouth to meet him and im soooo glad i did because now i feel like my life jigsaw has all the lost pieces and i have also got a fabulous DAD who yes does have a chequered past but its his past im only interested in the here an now and im lucky enough to have stepbrothers and sister that yes did find it hard me entering their lives but hey ho we all get on.

What i will say huni is if u can put the past to bed then u stand a chance to build a healthy relationship with the other human who made u,

Everyone deserves a second chance its up to him how he handles this second chance. i wish u all the luck in the world and i sooooo hope ur reunion goes well huni xxxx

[Hopman]

Is there any way you could meet and get to know him without revealing who you are?

[peterw]

I think I can agree with most Forumers and advise you not just to see what he looks like. I mean, what use is that to you? I found my son after half a long lifetime and went to see him. He was more than happy to meet me because of that ‘Genes’ subject. Obviously, by the very nature of birth he was going to have at least some of my Genes and needed to know about things like longevity and health in general. Now, today, as I write it is Sunday and as usual we have been out for lunch. We go out every Sunday so YES, meet him — but for a purpose rather than just to see ‘what he looks like’. Are you going to forget the idea of meeting him if he turns out to look like a gorilla? I doubt it.

[sandie]

I think I can agree with most Forumers and advise you not just to see what he looks like. I mean, what use is that to you? I found my son after half a long lifetime and went to see him. He was more than happy to meet me because of that ‘Genes’ subject. Obviously, by the very nature of birth he was going to have at least some of my Genes and needed to know about things like longevity and health in general. Now, today, as I write it is Sunday and as usual we have been out for lunch. We go out every Sunday so YES, meet him — but for a purpose rather than just to see ‘what he looks like’. Are you going to forget the idea of meeting him if he turns out to look like a gorilla? I doubt it.

 

Well said the op will do it if he wants, but I feel he has not got the bottle and is hiding behind Mum's apron strings.

 

You will not find the truth unless you are prepaired to find it. Not all the op has been told is Mums version of facts, it is up to the op to find out the other version. If it is the same as Mummy's version then nothing lost, but I am not sure.

[clematismontana]

I am not going to see him to judge him on his appearance, I want to see what he looks like for first instance so that fi i walk down the street I no who he is.

 

At this stage I dunno if I want to say anything, but atleast if i go and see who he is then I will know atleast who he is.

 

My mum and brother went to meet up with him some time ago but didnt tell me because they didnt want to hurt me and thought I wouldnt want to go, from that he hasnt been in touch as far as I know.

 

My mum is going to be fostering part of the fostering process is to write a life story, she saved it on the computer and I have seen what she has put to read some of the a stuff what he did isnt nice thats why I am unsure about seein him, and I dont want my mum to think i care for him as she does hate the man.

 

I went to go to have a snoop of where he is meant to be baised on saturday however I coudnt seem to see any1 that lukd like the guy from the pics and i dno if i was in the right place as he doesnt work in a shop he works on a stall. so I guess i wont end up seeing him, and I dont want to ask my mum again.

[oap1942]

History is always written by the victors?

[clematismontana]

History is always written by the victors?

 

What does that mean?

[truman]

What does that mean?

 

I think it means that your mum will only write her side of things....