Remember any old silly verses etc you were told as a child

[hillsbro 33]

Hi jaffa1 - the version I heard had four short lines:

 

.Wherever you be

.Let the wind blow free

.In church or chapel

.Let it rattle.

 

also...

 

.The skill to fart is a noble art,

.It gives an inner ease.

.It warms the bed on a chilly night

.And suffocates the fleas.

[jaffa1 10]

Hi jaffa1 - the version I heard had four short lines:

 

 

.The skill to fart is a noble art,

.It gives an inner ease.

.It warms the bed on a chilly night

.And suffocates the fleas.

 

Love this one, never heard it before :hihi:

[Plain Talker 11]

Wherever you may be , let your wind go free

Church or Chapel let it rattle

Let your wind go free

 

I'm not sure if that last line is right though.

 

Our teacher's a funny un

She's got a face like a Spanish onion

She has a nose like a squashed tomato

And legs like two props.

 

I made you look , I made you stare

I made you look in the barber's hair

The barber's hair was full of nits

I made you eat them, all but six.

 

yuk

My gran used to torment us grandchildren with a similar version to "funny 'un", putting the grandchild's name in the rhym. The last line was slightly different.

 

She'd sing

"Our plain-ys a funny un,

With a face like a spanish onion,

And a nose like a squashed tomato,

We'll have some for tea."

 

The other one she'd sing was:-

 

"Old plain-y in't no good,

Chop her up for fire wood

When she's dead,

Stand her on her head

Then we'll have some ginger bread"

[GUZZIOWL 10]

My Dad told me he used to say this as a Child :

Sh*t, Bugger ,Arsole ,Damn ,

Somebody stole our Pram

We dont give a Bugger if we nivver get another

Sh*t,Bugger ,Arsole Damn ..

...........

And My Mother used to say this as a Child :

Mi'Mother and Fatha' wa' Feightin'

Feightin' for Ayf a Crown

Mi'Mother wa' pullin' her Britches up

An' Mi' Fatha' wa' pullin' 'em Dahn

[grinder 10]

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear

Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair

Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy wuzzy

[jaffa1 10]

A hum a hum a slice of piggy's bum

We're having a party and you can't come

We're having bread without butter

And tea without sugar

A hum a hum a slice of piggy's bum

[grinder 10]

He had a good job and he left

He had a good job and he left

He had a good job and he left it in his trousers......

[willybite 10]

He had a good job and he left

He had a good job and he left

He had a good job and he left it in his trousers......

 

hiya grinder j, trust thee tu remember that won.

[grinder 10]

Hi Willy.

Apparently I have a selective memory, I've found I can only only remember the rude ones..

[Corny44 10]

About 60 years ago a friend`s dad used to sing this little ditty. I`d never heard it before and I`ve never heard it since so if you know it and I`ve got some of the words wrong then feel free to put me right.

 

I was outside the lunatic asylum one day, digging up the road

Out came a lunatic and looked at me, then this is what he said

Come inside you silly beggar , come inside

You ought to have a bit more sense

Working for a living, take my tip

Come into the madhouse and be a lunatic

You`ll get your meals quite regularly

And a brand new suit besides

Working for a living, tut, take my tip

Come inside you silly beggar, come inside !!

[hillsbro 33]

Minnie the milkmaid

Would be with us now

If she hadn't mistaken

The bull for a cow..

[Sidery 10]

Oo~ah! Me too~ah!

Trapped it in t'doo~ah....

Ah, ne'ere mind... Ah've got nine moo~ah!

 

Crikey... Takes me back!

 

---------- Post added 29-12-2014 at 17:36 ----------

 

I lived the Fuzzy Bear one! Haven't heard that in 50 years!!!! X

 

---------- Post added 29-12-2014 at 17:40 ----------

 

Oo~ah! Me too~ah!

Trapped it in t'doo~ah....

Ah, ne'ere mind... Ah've got nine moo~ah!

 

Crikey... Takes me back!

 

---------- Post added 29-12-2014 at 17:44 ----------

 

Do you know John Peel

With his *? of steel?

And his ten brass balls

And his corrugated arse?

He went riding one day

And his balls turned grey,

So he polished them up with Brillo! (sung to the tune of John Peel of course...Soz about the rudery!!)x

 

---------- Post added 29-12-2014 at 17:52 ----------

 

Old King Cole was a merry old soul

And a merry old soul was he!

He went for a s**yte in the middle of the night

So headed for the W.C.

The night was dark and stormy...

The candle had a fit...

Old King Cole fell down the hole,

And swallowed a lump of grit. Honestly!