I'm lonely. Very lonely.

[sgtkate 10]

Try and have a think about any activities that make you happy or that you used to enjoy. Then maybe try to find other people also interested in those hobbies. This way you will be doing something you like so will hopefully feel more upbeat to begin with and you will naturally be meeting people you have something in common with. Most friendships start with a common interest and then develop from that in other areas of life. Perhaps try looking in this discussion board for some inspiration:

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?f=68

 

We all seem to get very rilied up on here over politics but most people post on here because they care, and that translates into caring about our society and people in it. You'll be amazed how open, helpful and welcoming most people on here are so if any of the areas in the Sheffield Interests section appeals I'd say it would be a great place to start.

[davyboy 19]

Start enjoying your dogs again they don't make any demands or requests from you, they're just happy to be out. It's well known now that dogs can relieve stress and aid in lifting depression, give them the chance.

When we take my daughter's dog for a walk it is amazing how other people with a dog say hello or stop to chat.

Try asking "what sort of dog is that"? Or comment on what a lovely dog that is.

OK you don't make a friend but you might AND you are connecting with the outside world and for a bit forgetting your worries.

Why not try the Sheffield forum walkers group and take your partner/husband.

Edited May 30, 2017 by davyboy

[pattricia 578]

When we take my daughter's dog for a walk it is amazing how other people with a dog say hello or stop to chat.

Try asking "what sort of dog is that"? Or comment on what a lovely dog that is.

OK you don't make a friend but you might AND you are connecting with the outside world and for a bit forgetting your worries.

Why not try the Sheffield forum walkers group and take your partner/husband.

 

This is just what I do with my sons dog. Some days you don't feel like going but feel better on your way back. The main thing is to keep the mind occupied.

[Dimple 10]

Hi.

 

I have no job. I keep losing then due to an illness.

No family apart from my partner who works fulltime

No friends at all because when i did have friends they all had kids and because i cant we grew apart.

 

Im scared my partner will leave me because im so fing miserable. I need friends.

 

What can i do

 

I dont have hobbies. I dont drive. I have dogs but due to my depression my hubby walks them.

 

I need friends

 

I feel for you and totally understand. I wish I could offer some wise words or good advice. Truth is its hard. I'm a talker, always have been but I now struggle to trust people as a result of my former home life. I have amazing kids but I crave adult company. Someone to talk to, laugh with, share the events of the day.

I'm lonely and getting more lonely by the day. The kids are the only thing that keeps me going. Hold on to the good things you have in life, try some of the tips posted here try to speak to your partner about how you are feeling.

The very best of luck to you.

Dimple

[Ghostrider 11]

I know exactly how you feel, I dont even have a dog.

Sometimes being on the internet is the nearest thing I get to human contact for days on end

[Dimple 10]

Crap int it mate.

Hope things turn around for you and the op soon

[El Cid 220]

I know exactly how you feel, I dont even have a dog.

Sometimes being on the internet is the nearest thing I get to human contact for days on end

 

Perhaps that is part of the problem?

[Hucks 10]

Hi.

 

I have no job. I keep losing then due to an illness.

No family apart from my partner who works fulltime

No friends at all because when i did have friends they all had kids and because i cant we grew apart.

 

Im scared my partner will leave me because im so fing miserable. I need friends.

 

What can i do

 

I dont have hobbies. I dont drive. I have dogs but due to my depression my hubby walks them.

 

I need friends

 

Very sorry to hear this. I feel for you, I really do.

 

The best bet is to get rid of the root cause of your challenges. And find a strong purpose. And as people have said, exercise is one of the best remedies. It's not easy, but get that momentum and write some day to day goals down. Realistic and focus on the present/day to day.

 

You'll be fine

[Ghostrider 11]

Perhaps that is part of the problem?

No, only go on it when im sick of my company.

[onewheeldave 22]

Hi.

 

I have no job. I keep losing then due to an illness.

No family apart from my partner who works fulltime

No friends at all because when i did have friends they all had kids and because i cant we grew apart.

 

Im scared my partner will leave me because im so fing miserable. I need friends.

 

What can i do

 

I dont have hobbies. I dont drive. I have dogs but due to my depression my hubby walks them.

 

I need friends

 

Social issues like the ones you describe are common for many of those of us who have Asperger's syndrome.

 

And the usual advice given by well-meaners is often ineffective for those with Asperger's, due to them lacking the neuronal structures necessary for processing complex social information.

 

Depression treatments can also often be less effective, as the depression may be due to the consequences of the low level of social opportunities available to many of those on the spectrum and other issues specifically related to autism (eg sensory issues).

 

I'd suggest, if you're interested in following it up, that you do one of the online tests for Asperger's, and, if you get a high score on it, consider seeking a professional diagnosis.

 

That's what I did, and, ended up being officially diagnosed. While it will likely not be the end of your problems, at least you'll understand why a lot of the conventional wisdom/advice wasn't/isn't working for you, and you can start to look for other ways to make yourself feel better.

 

One example of an online Asperger's test is-

 

http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/

[Guest makapaka]

Hi.

 

I have no job. I keep losing then due to an illness.

No family apart from my partner who works fulltime

No friends at all because when i did have friends they all had kids and because i cant we grew apart.

 

Im scared my partner will leave me because im so fing miserable. I need friends.

 

What can i do

 

I dont have hobbies. I dont drive. I have dogs but due to my depression my hubby walks them.

 

I need friends

 

Thats really sad and unfortunate.

 

I know you said you had no hobbies but maybe just go for something that involves other people even if it's not something you fancy.

 

Maybe a language course or some volunteering or something? You might just meet some people who are in a similar position and make friends?

 

I can imagine it's hard - my hobby was always football and as I got a bit older I stopped and it's not done my mind or health any good really and I've never really found owt to replace it so can understand.

[pattricia 578]

Thats really sad and unfortunate.

 

I know you said you had no hobbies but maybe just go for something that involves other people even if it's not something you fancy.

 

Maybe a language course or some volunteering or something? You might just meet some people who are in a similar position and make friends?

 

I can imagine it's hard - my hobby was always football and as I got a bit older I stopped and it's not done my mind or health any good really and I've never really found owt to replace it so can understand.

 

This is the problem with depression You have to keep your mind occupied but don't always feel like it.