Finding adrift family when it's too late

[Minimo]

Do you keep in touch with cousins?

 

We are a family that likes to keep in touch with extended family, ie cousins as the parents have all gone now. But while we keep in close touch with my mum's side of the family, who mostly live in the south, our Sheffield cousins aren't interested. I have only just found out that my (first) cousin died in 2011. There was no falling out or anything to explain it. I made brief contact with a son of that cousin, so he knew where I lived but nobody told us when he died. I have found his widow on Facebook and have messaged her. It is a bit late but I hope she replies and contact can be restored.

 

So, do you know and socialise with your cousins?

[crookedspire]

I think families are not that close anymore, I'm not in contact with any of cousins. Not because we fallen out but simply drifted apart. Shame really but that seems to be the way of the world now.

[TORONTONY]

I think families are not that close anymore, I'm not in contact with any of cousins. Not because we fallen out but simply drifted apart. Shame really but that seems to be the way of the world now.

 

I had a cousin contact me 2 years ago, for the first time in 55 years, now we talk at least once a month. Mind you we were very close as kids and were just victims of a big family feud and major fallout. He didn't even know I was in Canada, where I have been for almost 34 years, until he saw my name on my old school website, and I happened to leave my e-mail address there. Ironically that website disappeared a couple of months after he saw my name.

[Minimo]

Perhaps it is that the southern branches had so many more parties, weddings, christenings, christmas and so on because there were so many bodies. It was impossible not to be close.

Whereas there were fewer in Sheffield and therefore fewer occasions to get together.

 

A real shame.

[Starlet83]

I was brought up really close to some of my cousins, we have strange family in that there were 17 years between my dad and his eldest sister, when he was starting school she was getting married and starting a family, her eldest son is only 6 months younger than my mum. They have kids older than me.

I spent alot of time with my closest in age cousins from my dads side but even they were a good 15/16 years older than me. As I remember when I was about 3 I spent a full summer with my 18 year old cousin because he was trying to get with a girl who had a son the same age as me..

 

I am close in age to my mums nieces. We were brought up very very close.

 

I have not had anything to do with either side of the family since a few months after my dad died. I have my reasons and some days it makes me a little sad to think that my son won't have the closeness I had. However I am not a hypocrite. And maybe its stubborn but I will not go back on my views of them.

[Nigel Womersle]

I have a cousin who has completely detached herself from her family on both sides. None of us know why she has done this. None of us have fallen out with her. Some say it is her husband who doesn't want to mix with us. We are not a bad lot - no family member has been in police hands, ever. I suppose it is too late now to become acquainted again. After a while you never give it a thought. It's a pity though.

Edited September 3, 2015 by Nigel Womersle

[medusa]

My family keeps in touch, but since we all fit around one restaurant table when we have a get together, that's hardly surprising.

 

I don't have any cousins and only one aunt and uncle.

[grannypat]

I did my best to contact my cousin as we were very close as kids but it would seem that he doesn't want to renew the connection. I found someone who played golf with him occasionally at tournaments and he was going to try to pass my telephone number on the next time they met. However, my cousin wasn't playing that day and so he passed the message on to a chap who he knew was a friend of my cousin. I never got a phone call. I looked online and found an address for someone who I felt was my cousin and sent a Christmas card with my details so that he could email, write or telephone. Nothing.

I've decided that not everyone wants to renew old friendships. I find that really sad but it's a free world and we're all different aren't we?

 

Grannypat