Adults crossing "on the red man" in front of kids

[Cyclone]

That`s not what he said, that would have been a reasonable thing to say.

I quite clearly did say exactly that.

What he said was he`s not interested in setting an example to other people`s children*, something quite different.

I also said that.

It`s the kind of thing an ignorant Chav would say.

I think it's the kind of thing who isn't bringing up your children would say.

You worry about their behaviour and I'll worry about mine.

I'm perfectly capable of crossing a road, and so I will do, when I wish.

I don`t know Cyclone personally but I don`t get the impression he`s a Chav so he either used a poor choice of words or, more likely, is trying to wind people up.

Neither.

I simply would not wait for the green man if it's clear to cross. If your children ask why, you can explain that grown-ups can exercise their judgement and that you aren't the boss of everyone.

 

* I wonder how far he`d go with that one. Would he be happy for someone playing anti socially loud music, or with a deafening motorbike, or a litter lout, or a fly tipper, or even a burglar, to set examples for children, possibly children who live near him !

You think that crossing a road is the equivalent of criminal or anti-social behaviour. Get a sense of perspective.

That`s a very modern / permissive attitude to life, and some would say the cause of many of the social problems we`ve got. I do try to set an example, lead by example etc. If more people did so the world would be a better place, wouldn`t you agree ? Obviously not.

If there's an example to set in crossing the road, it would be that I do it when there's space and safely. Setting an example of pointless conformity isn't one I'd like to set.

[Justin Smith]

I quite clearly did say exactly that.

I also said that.

I think it's the kind of thing who isn't bringing up your children would say.

You worry about their behaviour and I'll worry about mine.

I'm perfectly capable of crossing a road, and so I will do, when I wish.

I simply would not wait for the green man if it's clear to cross. If your children ask why, you can explain that grown-ups can exercise their judgement and that you aren't the boss of everyone.

You think that crossing a road is the equivalent of criminal or anti-social behaviour. Get a sense of perspective.

If there's an example to set in crossing the road, it would be that I do it when there's space and safely. Setting an example of pointless conformity isn't one I'd like to set.

 

You said you were not bothered about setting an example for others. The point I`m making is many people say that these days, and that, in my opinion, is responsible for much of the anti social behaviour in this world.

 

Incidentally, you also say it`s the kind of thing that someone not bringing up your children would say. Well back in 2009 when I didn`t even have any kids I was saying the same thing as I am now. I thought to myself, I want to encourage kids to dross the road in the safest manner possible because the death of a child has got to be the saddest thing in the world, and I thought that even when I didn`t have any kids.

 

Setting an example of pointless conformity isn't one I'd like to set.

 

You think you can teach a small child how to judge speed and distance and whether a car is about to change lanes or turn off etc etc. You`ve either never had kids or they were remarkably advanced for their age......

[Cyclone]

Still not my problem. You teach your children how to behave, and I'll worry about my behaviour.

[medusa]

Why do you believe that people have a responsibility for children that are not their own? Surely as a parent it is your job to tell them why Cyclone's road crossing is not safe?

 

I act differently when I've got children with me (whether they're my niece and nephew or one of the families of children for whom I babysit) but when the children aren't with me I'm not looking for other children in case I do something that the parents may think is not appropriate.

 

In answer to the point that you made earlier about whether he would extend that further and be unsociable or commit crimes, doesn't that really depend on whether he is likely to do that anyway? At no point has Cyclone stated that he would deliberately do something that endangered a child, or commit a crime, or be antisocial- all he's said is that he wouldn't change his behaviour from his normal actions in order to appease the parents of any children present.

 

If he doesn't have children then surely that is his (and my) prerogative? We aren't in parenting mode- it's your job to educate your children, not the entirety of society's.

[Cyclone]

Why do you believe that people have a responsibility for children that are not their own? Surely as a parent it is your job to tell them why Cyclone's road crossing is not safe?

And to be clear, it should be why it's not safe for them. I didn't say that I cross the road unsafely.

 

I act differently when I've got children with me (whether they're my niece and nephew or one of the families of children for whom I babysit) but when the children aren't with me I'm not looking for other children in case I do something that the parents may think is not appropriate.

Agreed. If for some reason I was out with my nephews and nieces I would probably wait for the red man.

 

In answer to the point that you made earlier about whether he would extend that further and be unsociable or commit crimes, doesn't that really depend on whether he is likely to do that anyway? At no point has Cyclone stated that he would deliberately do something that endangered a child, or commit a crime, or be antisocial- all he's said is that he wouldn't change his behaviour from his normal actions in order to appease the parents of any children present.

 

If he doesn't have children then surely that is his (and my) prerogative? We aren't in parenting mode- it's your job to educate your children, not the entirety of society's.

Exactly, maybe better explained than my attempt.

[Justin Smith]

Still not my problem. You teach your children how to behave, and I'll worry about my behaviour.

 

Do you realise you`re implying you only care about yourself, and, I`ll give you the benefit of the doubt, your own family and friends ?

It takes all sorts I suppose.....

 

As an adult it's normally perfectly safe to use your judgement and cross if the traffic allows.

I try to avoid pressing the button if the traffic is light, as you often find that you've crossed before it changes and then it's just stopping cars for no reason.

 

I agree with the implication of the first part of your above post (on another thread), i.e. that kids aren`t reliably capable of assessing the dangers of crossing the road.

The second part is a bit dubious however, the implication that people should be more concerned about stopping cars "unnecessarily" than setting a good example to kids who you`ve just said are not really capable of reliably assessing the dangers.

 

---------- Post added 05-06-2015 at 22:33 ----------

 

Why do you believe that people have a responsibility for children that are not their own? Surely as a parent it is your job to tell them why Cyclone's road crossing is not safe?

 

I act differently when I've got children with me (whether they're my niece and nephew or one of the families of children for whom I babysit) but when the children aren't with me I'm not looking for other children in case I do something that the parents may think is not appropriate.

 

Do you not think that`s, err, a little hypocritical ? I can accept that some people who haven`t got kids have the excuse that they`ve never thought about the fact they should be setting an example (for road safety to kids), but you`ve just admitted that you do think about it, but only with your own relatives !

I can only repeat that even before I had kids I did feel I should be encouraging kids to cross the road safely.

But the people I have the least respect for are parents who cross the road with their kids in front of other parents who are dutifully waiting with their kids so as to set a good example...... Unbelievable, and unforgiveable.

[medusa]

Do you not think that`s, err, a little hypocritical ? I can accept that some people who haven`t got kids have the excuse that they`ve never thought about the fact they should be setting an example (for road safety to kids), but you`ve just admitted that you do think about it, but only with your own relatives !

I can only repeat that even before I had kids I did feel I should be encouraging kids to cross the road safely.

But the people I have the least respect for are parents who cross the road with their kids in front of other parents who are dutifully waiting with their kids so as to set a good example...... Unbelievable, and unforgiveable.

 

So what would you have me do then? Go looking for a child to show road safety to? I object to being called a hypocrite when all I'm doing is not demonstrating waiting for a crossing light if I'm not holding the hand of a child. I walk with a walking stick and can barely manage 50 yards most of the time, so I rarely cross any road, with or without people who are shorter than me.

 

If I'm not with children, why should I be doing things to demonstrate the green cross code as I would with a child?

[Cyclone]

Do you realise you`re implying you only care about yourself, and, I`ll give you the benefit of the doubt, your own family and friends ?

It takes all sorts I suppose.....

If I could stop you or your child walking in front of a bus I would do. But I wouldn't sacrifice myself to do it. That seems like a reasonable balance with regards to strangers.

But with regards to teaching your children. Yes, I don't care. It's not my job. It's yours. Stop trying to push that responsibility onto everyone else you might walk past in the street.

[gnomi]

I'm afraid I don't think you can fairly ask adults to cross the road when you or a green man want them to. It is up to you as a parent to teach your children road safety rules, no one else. It is also up to you to tell your children that adults can do what they want at crossings and may chose to ignore the warning lights.

I do get what you're saying but you cannot tell adult strangers what to do because it makes your job as a parent easier.

[denlin]

I would have thought that common sense when using a pelican crossing ie. crossing on the green man when children are about is not too much to ask. It's all very well saying it is parents responsibility to teach the children road safety when they see adults ignoring the green cross code. Thats called being irresponsible