Depression, can't cope

[The Mrs 10]

The thing is I know I'll feel better but then in a couple if weeks it comes back again. I've even looked into the Swiss clinic. I can't live the rest of my life like this and I can't put my family through it either, I've caused so much upset with this illness

[smed9619 10]

The Mrs,

You are a strong, compassionate caring person. I empathise completely with you, having suffered with depression since primary school. I also suffered trauma as a child and know how deep it sits. Please try to stop what happened in your past becoming your future.

You should see your GP tomorrow but if you feel that things are too severe before then you can go to A and E where a mental health professional will be able to help. The mental health organisation you are attached to should also have a crisis team that can help if things are drastic.

Medication can be modified via your GP and may be helpful. There is also 'talking therapy' like CBT that can help with the way that you make sense of things and gives you different coping strategies to help in the future. There is also specialized counselling available, your GP or your local MIND will be able to help you with referral.

Also phone your local mental health team and explain that you haven't had support for 4 months and are in need of more support.

Try having a look on the MIND website, it may help you to understand why you are feeling as you do.

You are not alone, I know it can feel so isolating but there is help out there; you just need to recognise that you are important enough to have it.

I hope this helps, PM me if you want

[BEDROCK 10]

The thing is I know I'll feel better but then in a couple if weeks it comes back again. I've even looked into the Swiss clinic. I can't live the rest of my life like this and I can't put my family through it either, I've caused so much upset with this illness

 

Well don't suffer alone, I am suffering alone and it's not nice

[chanyp 10]

Depression is something no body will ever really understand untill they have been there, when your feeling at your lowest remember what good you have done in your lifes you have had children which is 1 of the biggest accomplishments of life. theres also the samaritans who are there to listen 24 hours a day,but please speak to your GP it dont sound like the medication your on is suited to you, at the end of the day taking your on life will hurt your husband and children and may even put them in the situation your in now

[myamoo 10]

if you call 111 there is some grate help just tell you need help . I did and a doctor woz out with under a hour

[Vaati 11]

I suffer with depression on and off, mostly since the loss of my dad. But other circumstances did not help. When you do have a 'down' moment, think of the times when you are happy.

[salsafan 10]

The thing is I know I'll feel better but then in a couple if weeks it comes back again. I've even looked into the Swiss clinic. I can't live the rest of my life like this and I can't put my family through it either, I've caused so much upset with this illness

May I ask you a very very silly question, do YOU yourself believe that you have an "illness" ? Can there truly be just a simple switch, a pill, or something to take away everything ?

 

I would maybe actually consider something like meditation and also journalling too. Sometimes, it is not just a "mental" illness, or whatever, but a "spiritual" one.

 

I read something very true recently.

 

5 Ways to Distinguish Your Calling From Your Ego by Shelley Prevost

I have found an interesting article called "5 Ways to Distinguish Your Calling from Your Ego" by Shelley Prevost. This might be helpful for anyone searching for a career path.

 

The five points are summarized as follows:

 

1. Ego fears not accomplishing or acquiring something, while a calling regrets not expressing or being something

2. Ego feeds on constant anxiety, while calling needs peace

3. Ego's side-effect is a burn-out, while calling manifests as a fulfillment

4. Ego stresses on the success or failure, while calling focuses on the learning process

5. Ego wants to create and manage your identity, while a calling is about understanding yourself with respect to others

 

What are your thoughts or opinions? Thank you for reading.

 

Read the article here:

5 Ways to Distinguish Your Calling From Your Ego | Inc.com

http://personalitycafe.com/education-career-talk/172663-5-ways-distinguish-your-calling-your-ego-shelley-prevost.html

You may "think" that you are the worst, or that there is something deep inside of you that you cannot get out of. Sometimes it is okay to write them down too, and actually abuse and put down bad words associated to those experiences, and in doing so, it will actually come out one day, what exactly you felt that brought you down too.

 

Maybe you need to forgive the person who did harm to you when you were young, or maybe you needed to let go of this bad experience. Or maybe that you have dwelled on this bad experience for such a long time that you continued to turn it into something else and more something else ? Maybe inside each one of us we have an evil side as well as an angelic side and it is okay to also be human too ?

 

You said that you wished you could talk.... maybe it is okay to get aggressive about the situation and actually throw verbal abuse at it. For goodness sake, we ladies are human too ! It is also okay to get angry at your kids too if they do not follow your orders etc. Just do not bottle everything and be this super woman, cos humans are not robots.

 

In our lifetime, we need to burn through our egos, or our "darkness" so to speak, in order to comprehend and appreciate and actively choose light.

 

Would it help you if you actually stop taking anti-depressants, and stop believing in the idea of a mental illness, and actually even choose to do something more wholesome, than just sit, talk and take a pill each day ? I would that would truly annoy me. I rather rant it out and be listened to by family and friends about the injustice of the world, than to bottle the emotions inside of me thinking that I need to keep calm, and pretend that the other person has not harmed me in any way shape or form. Cos I have been a doormat long enough. Being strong is actually also telling the other person that they have harmed you too. It is actually saying it out loud.. to their face, in a fair way.

 

Just do not bottle things up.. and let it explode to a high level. Seriously. It is also okay to laugh at bad situation and circumstances if it relieves some pain and some bad karmas too. Avoidance is also not the answer as well. Even seeing a psychologist and not actually facing those who did harm to you is also NOT a good solution too.

 

In a life time, we are supposed to fight for what we love. If y ou love your children too, then admit openly to them what had happened to you too and that you are also coming to terms with it. Get an understanding from your loved ones is also a way to cope also too. Just do not bottle things up and not let it come towards a resolution. I read a book recently called "The Accidental Wife". I know that people read in order to get inspiration and to get ideas so that they do not have to deal with the people who harmed them themselves. But when I was reading it, it allowed me to get a lot of ideas, and it also allowed me to get to a kind of closure somewhat too on many issues which I normally face each day. Try to also avoid bad things in your daily life too. If continually to dwell and to think about this "illness" is not adding you any value, then stop going to see the doctor, and stop even focusing on this issue now. Also own up to the part which you did not do when you experienced that something. Admitting something to yourself is the hardest hurdle. I wish I was more vocal too and was more expressive than being a doormat when I was young.

Edited January 5, 2014 by salsafan

[Bludragonfly 10]

I am sorry to hear how difficult you are finding things right now. You sound as if you have loving and supporting family around you so please don't walk away from this. They want you with them and i'm sure they will support you to get better.

 

I understand far more than I am prepared to say on an open forum so I've found you some information out and hope that you find at least one part of this useful.

 

If you need any more information please contact me via personal message and i'll do what I can to help

 

 

I really recommend the Rotherham organisation called GROW http://www.growproject.org.uk/ I know women who have transformed their lives after support from GROW. The services offered are wide ranging but includes one-to-one support - click on the 'home' button from the list of the left as a starting point

 

 

http://rotherhamwomenscounsellingservice.webs.com/ This service is free and you can self-refer but read the referral process page as (obviously) I don't know what it was that happened to you in the past so this service might not be appropriate

 

 

Some NHS suggestions:

 

Access to NHS mental health services in Rotherham tends to go via the IAPT services. IAPT us Improving Access to Psychological Therapy (talking therapies) - as recommended by the NICE Guidelines (see below). You can find information about this via this link

http://www.rotherham.nhs.uk/rotherhamccg/Pages/where-to-get-help.htm

 

The IAPT service runs (or used to so phone to check 01709 302630) an open 'drop-in' session on a Friday morning at the Community Health Centre (newish building next to Bailey House - across the river from the bus station). If you go, take something to read / do in case there are people before you and you have to wait an hour or so

 

 

 

NICE Guidelines - researched based recommendations to the NHS about managing health conditions etc. They are detailed documents so depending how you are feeling whether you can face them or not!

 

 

You can do some kinds of therapy online, working at your own pace. This document tells you about the different ones that are recommended by NICE and are being used within the NHS. This might be a source of help you've not thought about before but might be helpful http://publications.nice.org.uk/computerised-cognitive-behaviour-therapy-for-depression-and-anxiety-ta97

 

 

The next two links take you to information about what the NHS should be doing to diagnose / treat depression in adults. Some people find that this information helps them to be more assertive when they go to their GP:

 

http://pathways.nice.org.uk/pathways/depression#content=view-node%3Anodes-principles-of-care-adults

 

http://egap.evidence.nhs.uk/depression-in-adults-cg90

 

 

Finally, I agree with others that suggest you go and talk to your GP. If you find this difficult have you considered writing a letter to your GP and asking them to read it before or at the beginning of your appointment? This might help your GP get a better understanding of how you are and what they need to do to help you than a 10 minute appointment does

 

Take care, accept the support of your loving family and please consider seeing your GP again

 

---------- Post added 05-01-2014 at 22:09 ----------

 

Would it help you if you actually stop taking anti-depressants, .

 

 

If you are on medication please do not follow this suggestion without talking to your GP

[annbaker 10]

The Mrs - My heart goes out to you. Like other posters I too have had depression and often felt everyone else would be better off if I were not here . It was a long hard road but I got better through some medication but most importantly support from my family and friends. I say better rather than cured. Let's just say I learned I wasn't so bad after all and accepted eventually I actually hadn't caused the things that made me ill.

 

I'd very much recommend to see your GP as your medication may need changed or adjusted. Counselling is a very personal thing. Didn't help me at all but it does help countless others so if you feel it could help you then get your GP to sort it out soonest.

 

Take care

[Anna B 1,417]

Thankyou for all your kind words, but I'm not brave I'm weak that's why I'm on here reaching out to strangers for........I dunno, because I haven't got the guts to pick up the phone and talk.

 

First of all, you're not weak.

 

Go back to your doctors and tell them the pills aren't working. There are other types which might suit you better. Keep trying until you find something that works.

 

See somebody if you can, but also get a book or look online for methods of self-help, neuro-linguistic programming etc.

 

Depression is surprisingly common and affects all kinds of people, and often the last people you would expect so there's absolutely no shame or embarrassment about it. Get help.

[Mr Bloom 10]

Please do not be hard on yourself, The Mrs. You are a wonderful person with lots to offer your family and they love you and would be much worse for you not being here. That is so simple for an outsider to see, after simply reading your posts.

 

Be gentle with yourself. You have taken a huge step in coming on here, and you should reflect on this massive positive step and feel happy about this. Read all the advice in your own time, and follow up leads that will help you.

 

You have a right to be here and you are meant to be here. Clouds do shift to reveal blue skies, I know from personal trauma. The responses here are testament to how wonderful life and people can be and the strength of feeling that the world IS a better place for YOU being in it.

 

Please keep posting. You are obviously loved very much. xxx

[The Mrs 10]

I would like to say a huge thankyou to everyone on this post, you have all been so lovely and kind. It's amazing to know that complete strangers have shown so much support and it really has helped. Today I feel a little better and I even got out of bed. Posting like this is not something I have ever done it just proves how low I am. I have been in touch with my GP and they are going to contact the mental health team for me. It's nice to know if I need to talk I can come on here, it's not easy to open up in person. Xx