Remember Birley School?

[GCRL 10]

Hello Zakes, I have had much amusement in reading your posts,both in this thread and others, but come on mate give us a clue as to who you are. The names you have used(including mine) and the areas you have described i know well. Are you still wanting to know about Moor Valley? as i know the area well.

[zakes 68]

Erlenmeyer Flask 1967

 

Zakes has spent most of the weekend bed bound in bed with a bad bout of docility and chilled aglets but a treatment of 57 glasses of a mixture of Enos and Andrews stirred together with gnats nadgers, Jusoda and Linctus soon had him back on his sweaty plates. Today was to be the first day back at school after the 6 weeks holiday and Zakes was feeling as fit as a fiddle ready to string a few teachers along. Zakes was a free spirit, like a genie outside of the bottle but he never could understand the attractions of responsibility although he thrived on responsibility but rebelled against all forms of discipline. Zakes was so glad the summer holidays were over so he could get back to school and partake in his latest favourite pastime of frotting. Yea, Zakes loved to frot and he and his three brotherly mates from school were seriously thinking of enrolling in a froternity when they were older. There was a nice cuppla birds in their class and these lasses along with a pair of teacheresses would become their targets in the weeks to come. The froternal friends had always enjoyed it when Miss Moore lifted her hands to check that her hair was in place because it gave them the chance to see if she had shaved under her arms, this they found excitingly axillarating. It was often interesting to see that she had obviously ran out of her supply of Wardonia's.

The first morning back had passed without incident and so had most of the afternoon and the final lesson of the day was upstairs doing science with flipping Mr Phipps who was unfortunately born with a face that reminded Zakes of a Madagascan puff adder. Zakes never did like 'Phippsy' and thought it time to turn the tables (desks) and teach this teacher a lesson. During the lesson the flippant Mr Phipps had a bunsen burner on the go speedily heating up an Erlenmeyer flask with a phlegm green coloured liquid bubbling up within it and then came the EXPLOSION! In a split second Zakes saw his opportunity to cause a ruckus and for 'Phippsy' to panic and be put into a state of flux. ZAkes sprang as quick as quicksilver fro his laboratory stool and lay prostrate on the floor and covered his face with his hands and screamed out ''MY EYES'', ''MY EYES'', ''I CAN'T SEE''! All the class were concerned and Mr Phipps was in an anxious tizzy and very concerned, but Zakes suddenly turned over, uncovered his face and loudly pronounced ''TRICK''! Mr Phipps flaming flipped out flipping heck and didn't recover his composure and pointing to the door ordered Zakes to go and tell the headmaster what he had done. Zakes departed the now silent laboratory and took to the the staircase and slid down the banisters on his way to the office of the headmaster. Zakes was about to rap upon the door of Mr 'Harry' Lines but had a change of heart and promptly turned left and skipped along the corridor to the boy's bogs to smoke a ciggy to calm his nerves. Exiting the lad's lounge with nerves recalmed Zakes made his way back to the science tuition upstairs. A solemn faced Zakes re-entered the laboratory with head and shoulders bowed and at the same time rubbing his buttocks then found his place and gently seated himself. Several of Zakes' classmates glanced over, some of them smiling in sympathy and some of them not smiling in sympathy, even Mr Phipps looked over with a half frown upon his Madagascan dial and it seemed to Zakes that all and sundry were of the opinion that he had gotten a serious caning from the headmaster.

The following morning the bright eyed and bushy tailed Zakes was standing in a row on the left side of assembly singing out loudly the lyrics to the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful' and at the same time admiring a row of girl classmates directly in front of him and wondered if assembly would be a good place for a spot of frotting. The religious song ended and assembly was called to a close. Zakes had taken but a few steps from the assembly hall when he was stopped in his tracks when he came face to face with the hatchet faced Mr 'Harry' Lines who without further ado commanded Zakes to stand outside his office and wait. Four minutes and 57 seconds later the non-smiling Zakes was in the office 'Harry'. Zakes was told to explain his behaviour in the laboratory from the previous day and Zakes gladly obliged and thought he had escaped punishment until 'Harry' cut him short by saying ''Tell the truth and shame the devil'' shortly followed by ''You are boring me with your speeches, lad''. Mr Lines reached , then unclosed his cupboard and withdrew an angry looking cane and the left handed but sinistral adult trunt who stank of stale Rothman's fag smoke proceeded to issue four serious strokes upon Zakes' rear end ...Thwack...Thwack...Thwack...Thwack! Painfully pacing the corridor to his classroom Zakes thought that the cane had been surprisingly still flexible when one considers that it had been stood unused in the cupboard for at least 6 weeks......Ouch!

[RachG 10]

*******************************************

I leave school in 3 weeks. The affair thing your all onabout with Mr Powers and Mrs Westropp is true i think. Well a couple of years ago she got married and is now called Mrs Powers and has a daughter (might not be his), she still teaches Biology, anyways this is all before my time.

 

mrs westrop has got married and is now mrs powers??? wow i used to have her. and her husband mr westrop in primary school.

 

i left in 2006 and it sounds like lots has changed since then. mrs scott was my form tutor and probably the nicest one

[Barby 10]

Hey - just found this old forum. How about resurecting it? Really enjoyed reading it. You're a funny guy Zakes! I used to live on Birley Moor Way and knew Stewart Crossley, Gary Wood, Chris Mellor, Vicky Jackson. Also remember Cathy Cunningham, Wendy Carey, June Priest, Steptoe and Adelle Stephenson.

[zakes 68]

'Hot Pot'

 

When I was a smart looking lad (unfortunately, the girls didn't notice) at Birley School in the mid 60's, I knew most things that were happening. I used to mix with pupils in my year and also with the older ones too. I also recall lots of names and faces in my mind's eye, and I remember lots of tricks and ruses I and others got up to. Bullying was something I never took part in, I had two or three scraps in my time there, I only ever once stole at school and that was from the staff room which led to my expellation (to be related to you at a later date, folks). It was with great pleasure that I was a bane in the arse for some of the teachers there.

There was one lad at school who was three years older than me and his name was 'Hot Pot' and he lived on Birley Moor Way I think. 'Hot Pot' was a hot 'un and was quite eccentric, and a little simple and not as handsome as my good self. However, these three 'failings' of his were (are) not crimes, so why should a handful of pupils from his year take delight in bullying him summat cruel? I know the names of some of his torturers and the name of the ring leader who also bullied others. They mornt come on SF saying what nice boys they were, because if they do, I waint be slow in giving instances and naming names. I wasn't bullied by them, just by the headmaster. Anyway, these boys used to set upon 'Hot Pot' and give him the Indian burn, they 'treated' him to the cow bite on many occasions. They also used to burn his skin when the weather was sunny with a magnifying glass. What a bunch of twi(a)ts eh?

 

One Friday I happened across 'Hot Pot', and during our conversation he asked me if I would like to go the next day to the Gaumont Pictures in town to wetch James Bond in Goldfinger, free of charge. Due to his eccentriciousness I thought he was having me on but agreed a time and place to meet next day. Well, i've always been a man (boy then) of my word and I was punctually at the meeting point next day which was at the shops on Birley Moor Crescent, he arrived some minutes later.

We arrived at the Gaumont in Barkers Pool and went up a fair few steps. 'Hot Pot' told me to wait for a few minutes and he went off somewhere. A short time later he beckoned me over and we went through a door, and he introduced me to a man who was a relative (?) of his. We were actually in the projector room and that's where we stayed to watch Goldfinger. Try to imagine wetching a James Bond Film from a projector room. We were also well furnished with sweets, popcorn and a choc ice a piece for free, wowee!

It was a wonderful Saturday afternoon had and I was very grateful for 'Hot Pot's' kindness, but I felt somewhat guilty for doubting him the day before.

Two days later I went back to my rebellious, anti authority life, and 'Hot Pot' went back to his life of loneliness, and no doubt to reluctantly face his tormentors.

 

Zakes.

[Barby 10]

I remember Hot pot - he lived at the bottom of our road - the corner house with the big lawn! He used to be a really fast speed skater at silver blades ice rink. I remember we were 'bonfire rivals' and used to nick each other's wood/chairs/mattresses/tyres etc. These used to pass between the 2 bonfires for at least 2 weeks before bonfire night! Me and my brother and friends used to take it in turns to be 'on guard duty'!! Good fun.

[cornishblade 10]

Whoa!!!! just found this site. some great names from the past, had some fun times. Wonder where they all are now? Reg Hudson Richard brown Lynne Womack Greg Annerson Lynne Craig Susan Brown Ray Dewsbury + all the ones already mentioned.

Edited June 1, 2011 by cornishblade

[cornishblade 10]

Erlenmeyer Flask 1967

 

Zakes has spent most of the weekend bed bound in bed with a bad bout of docility and chilled aglets but a treatment of 57 glasses of a mixture of Enos and Andrews stirred together with gnats nadgers, Jusoda and Linctus soon had him back on his sweaty plates. Today was to be the first day back at school after the 6 weeks holiday and Zakes was feeling as fit as a fiddle ready to string a few teachers along. Zakes was a free spirit, like a genie outside of the bottle but he never could understand the attractions of responsibility although he thrived on responsibility but rebelled against all forms of discipline. Zakes was so glad the summer holidays were over so he could get back to school and partake in his latest favourite pastime of frotting. Yea, Zakes loved to frot and he and his three brotherly mates from school were seriously thinking of enrolling in a froternity when they were older. There was a nice cuppla birds in their class and these lasses along with a pair of teacheresses would become their targets in the weeks to come. The froternal friends had always enjoyed it when Miss Moore lifted her hands to check that her hair was in place because it gave them the chance to see if she had shaved under her arms, this they found excitingly axillarating. It was often interesting to see that she had obviously ran out of her supply of Wardonia's.

The first morning back had passed without incident and so had most of the afternoon and the final lesson of the day was upstairs doing science with flipping Mr Phipps who was unfortunately born with a face that reminded Zakes of a Madagascan puff adder. Zakes never did like 'Phippsy' and thought it time to turn the tables (desks) and teach this teacher a lesson. During the lesson the flippant Mr Phipps had a bunsen burner on the go speedily heating up an Erlenmeyer flask with a phlegm green coloured liquid bubbling up within it and then came the EXPLOSION! In a split second Zakes saw his opportunity to cause a ruckus and for 'Phippsy' to panic and be put into a state of flux. ZAkes sprang as quick as quicksilver fro his laboratory stool and lay prostrate on the floor and covered his face with his hands and screamed out ''MY EYES'', ''MY EYES'', ''I CAN'T SEE''! All the class were concerned and Mr Phipps was in an anxious tizzy and very concerned, but Zakes suddenly turned over, uncovered his face and loudly pronounced ''TRICK''! Mr Phipps flaming flipped out flipping heck and didn't recover his composure and pointing to the door ordered Zakes to go and tell the headmaster what he had done. Zakes departed the now silent laboratory and took to the the staircase and slid down the banisters on his way to the office of the headmaster. Zakes was about to rap upon the door of Mr 'Harry' Lines but had a change of heart and promptly turned left and skipped along the corridor to the boy's bogs to smoke a ciggy to calm his nerves. Exiting the lad's lounge with nerves recalmed Zakes made his way back to the science tuition upstairs. A solemn faced Zakes re-entered the laboratory with head and shoulders bowed and at the same time rubbing his buttocks then found his place and gently seated himself. Several of Zakes' classmates glanced over, some of them smiling in sympathy and some of them not smiling in sympathy, even Mr Phipps looked over with a half frown upon his Madagascan dial and it seemed to Zakes that all and sundry were of the opinion that he had gotten a serious caning from the headmaster.

The following morning the bright eyed and bushy tailed Zakes was standing in a row on the left side of assembly singing out loudly the lyrics to the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful' and at the same time admiring a row of girl classmates directly in front of him and wondered if assembly would be a good place for a spot of frotting. The religious song ended and assembly was called to a close. Zakes had taken but a few steps from the assembly hall when he was stopped in his tracks when he came face to face with the hatchet faced Mr 'Harry' Lines who without further ado commanded Zakes to stand outside his office and wait. Four minutes and 57 seconds later the non-smiling Zakes was in the office 'Harry'. Zakes was told to explain his behaviour in the laboratory from the previous day and Zakes gladly obliged and thought he had escaped punishment until 'Harry' cut him short by saying ''Tell the truth and shame the devil'' shortly followed by ''You are boring me with your speeches, lad''. Mr Lines reached , then unclosed his cupboard and withdrew an angry looking cane and the left handed but sinistral adult trunt who stank of stale Rothman's fag smoke proceeded to issue four serious strokes upon Zakes' rear end ...Thwack...Thwack...Thwack...Thwack! Painfully pacing the corridor to his classroom Zakes thought that the cane had been surprisingly still flexible when one considers that it had been stood unused in the cupboard for at least 6 weeks......Ouch!

 

I remember this incident really well!!!! i am almost certain i know who you are

[eastbank 10]

Whoa!!!! just found this site. some great names from the past, had some fun times. Wonder where they all are now? Reg Hudson Richard brown Lynne Womack Greg Annerson Lynne Craig Susan Brown Ray Dewsbury + all the ones already mentioned.

 

 

played football with greg,gary and nigel annerson...also ray dewsbury...remember nights in frecheville, birley and old harrow....happy days

[cornishblade 10]

played football with greg,gary and nigel annerson...also ray dewsbury...remember nights in frecheville, birley and old harrow....happy days

 

you must have played in the same team as me:)

[eastbank 10]

you must have played in the same team as me:)

 

played at school with gary and nigel...birley boys with greg....and the frecheville hotel with ray dewsbury.....good old days.....

[zakes 68]

Shabby Butterflies.

 

Like all the boys at Birley School, Zakes wore black shoes, grey trousers, a white shirt with a grey and maroon diagonally striped tie, and finally a maroon coloured blazer. They also had grey pullovers, but it was optional if they wore them or not. Zakes chose not to.

 

The girls in his class were not to be seen, and Zakes presumed they were having a free period. Zakes himself was having a period, a bad one indeed, but it was his heart that was bleeding, because he wasn't making much headway regarding the lasses.

The girl he most wanted to impress was Lynn Stacey, but she was allegedly spending her time sniffing around some other boy, possibly Harry Hatt or it could have been Steve Kaye, Gary Bottomley or was it the red haired Bowny. These lads were a year higher than Lynn at school, but none of them were as good as Zakes, thought Zakes. Lynn was like a peach, but so out of reach. This was such a great pity, because together Lynn and Zakes could have reached for the sky, Kenneth More did.

 

Zakes at a push, could have made a play for two other bits of charver in his class, namely Sandra Wallis and Lesley Whiteley. Sandra had a fine pair of lungs but she wasn't available at the present time, because she was allegedly busy with Hot Pot (didn't know that did you, folks?), a lad three years higher than her at school. Lesley was a reight good snogger and she lived in them there red Hassall homes on the new Weakland Estate, but as far as Zakes knew, she was also fixed up with some bammy jastard somewhere. The rest of the classroom's shabby butterflies weren't of interest to Zakes, although that blonde bit Julie Hurst wasn't three bad, and might be worth having a crack at.

 

The jackanapes Zakes, was bored to tears listening to the ebullient Mr Fidler and glanced through the classroom window. It was still wazzing it down cats and dogs as it was all day yesterday. Zakes was feeling a little peckish so slowly slid his hand under his desk and peeled last month's Bazooka bubbly gum from the wood, then popped it into his eager gob.

The school bell rang out to indicate it was dinner time, and all the lads in class wildly stampeded out of the door, into the corridor in single file. Dinner was chips, beans that didn't taste like beans, and other stuff. Everybody was quietly and peacefully tucking into the long awaited snap, until Zakes slung a handful of chips over to the next table. The diners at that table were, Mick Payne, Martin Hatfield, Ralph Smalley, Paul White and the left handed Mick Fewkes, and three of them (White, Payne and Smalley) responded by slinging food back at Zakes' table.

Zakes and his fellow eaters threw more chips at them and at another table, and in a short time there was a raging food fight in progress. Some of the girls, who didn't enjoy the tasteless food also joined in by cobbing chips, and surreptitiously flicking their beans under the table. Teachers arrived on the scene and the food battle was soon quelled. Zakes, Payne, Smalley and White each received a pair of lashes from Mr Lines' cane for their troubles. They also missed out on their pudding, perhaps it was their just desserts.

 

Due to his lack of success with the birds in class, together with the caning at dinner time, Zakes was in a bad mood as he exited the school gates at 4 o'clock. On his journey in the direction of home Zakes collared a pair of green blazered, pencil necked, wop headed trunts from Thornbridge School. Both were forcefully pushed through a thick hedgerow, and Zakes made sure it was a Hawthorn hedge for the extra effect. Their satchels were launched over another hedgerow, later to be found nestling in some nice thorny rose bushes.

Zakes didn't feel like going home yet, and called in at Donolan's shop on Birley Moor Crescent, to buy himself a pack of five Woodbines and a book of matches which advertised Richmond cigarettes. Zakes also managed to whip a walnut whip, when nobody was looking. Back on the street again, Zakes with a look of serious intent plastered across his face, marched towards Birley Lane, then found the path leading to Birley Woods. It had stopped raining, but the pathway to the woods was saturated and also very muddy. A half hour had passed before Zakes re-emerged from the woods with an enormous grin across his cute face. He had slipped his trusty but rusty penknife back into his left-hand side trouser pocket. He was so pleased with himself for doing what he had been promising himself to do for weeks now. Zakes had found a likely tree deep in the woods, and carved into the bark a heart shaped heart with a nice big arrow running through it, he then added the message 'Z luvs L.S. forever'.

 

Nearing home with his shoes well and truly muddied up, Zakes was finishing his second Woodbine fag, and flicked the tab end into the garden of the Betts family who lived opposite. Directly outside his home, Zakes tilted the dustbin, and slipped the pack of now three Woodbines underneath and let the bin rock back into position. 'Good hiding place' mused Zakes.

 

Having entered the house, Zakes stood in the hallway and came face to face with his short tempered mother. She saw the state of his caked up in mud shoes, then she twitched her nose, and accusingly asked Zakes if he had been smoking. Zakes declared this to be untrue. Then his mother shouted, "THERE'S NO SMOKE WITHOUT MIRE"......Wallop!