PeteMorris   10 #25 Posted January 30, 2015 I think age has become a big part of it He does work hard and goes to the pub after work, he says 2 pints but i know that means 4 and he drives home which is another issue. he went out on friday and came back after 4hrs, saturday he did 6hrs and sunday 6hrs  On tuesday because i was out he left for work at 6am and came home at 9.15 that night from the pub when he finished at 5pm. I got home at 9pm.  So my assumption seems to be correct?....  Far be it for me to advise on anything, but in my experience if you're unhappy...Change things....You're young enough to start anew (he did at 42)....He probably wouldn't notice!... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Redstripe   10 #26 Posted January 30, 2015 From what you've said i'd just call it quits, you don't want the same things, you cheat on him and at least at this point you could both find someone else and enjoy your lives instead of plodding on but only you know what's best. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
truman   10 #27 Posted January 30, 2015 So my assumption seems to be correct?.... Far be it for me to advise on anything, but in my experience if you're unhappy...Change things....You're young enough to start anew (he did at 42)....He probably wouldn't notice!...  If you read her other thread I think she already has Pete... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Anna B Â Â 1,417 #28 Posted January 30, 2015 It sounds to me as though your marriage is hitting something of a crisis, and this question is just a part of it. Â I don't think it's a question of who is being fair, but what you both want and how much you're both prepared to compromise to make the other happy. So on the face of it Grenoside's sugestion seems a reasonable one. I also think Grandad.Malky has a good point. (Can I also sugest the lure of great sex to get him home early...) Â However, you do sound rather frustrated by him and his lifestyle. Do you have other things you both enjoy doing together even if it's only watching TV and the occasional treat / night out, and holidays? If life consists of him just working eating and sleeping it sounds a bit narrow and boring. Â There are two ways to go. Either work at it together and create a more interesting fulfilling life together, or go it alone (and I don't necessarily mean by getting divorced,) and create interests of your own to make your own life more fulfilling. Ultimately only you are resposible for your own life /happiness. You say he doesn't mind if you go out, so try going to gym classes, joining an interest group that appeals, working towards a qualification that would improve your carreer prospects, cookery school, book clubs, crafts, the list of possibilities is endless. Lots of happy marriages survive on this model and thrive. Â You will feel happier and he may even get the message and decide to join you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
PeteMorris   10 #29 Posted January 30, 2015 If you read her other thread I think she already has Pete...  Well yes, I get your drift.....I meant a more permanent solution....The affair was obviously going nowhere..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Bargepole23 Â Â 337 #30 Posted January 30, 2015 Your previous misdemeanors aside, neither of you are being very fair. Relationships are all about compromise and consideration for your other half. He wants to go to the WMC every night, and would like you to accompany him. You don't want either of you to go to the WMC. Can you not meet in the middle over this? For example, he goes alone 2 nights a week, you go with him 2 nights a week, no one goes the other 3 nights a week. You both sound selfish really with little consideration for what the other wants. Â Surely you have more options in your life of an evening than either go to a WMC or not go to a WMC?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
jane91   10 #31 Posted January 30, 2015 there are loads of issues that would take to long to go into, to highlight just one  He injured his knee in June and had to take 6mths off work, i supported him emotionally and finacially by paying all the bills other than his car insurance, life insurance and tv license.  He still managed to go to the pub on his sick pay and has got himself into £1000+ overdraft and owes me £1700 for his half of the bills i covered while he was off work.  He still goes to the pub every night so thats £70+ per week hes spending but hasnt got Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Grandad.Malky   11 #32 Posted January 30, 2015 I think age has become a big part of it He does work hard and goes to the pub after work, he says 2 pints but i know that means 4 and he drives home which is another issue. he went out on friday and came back after 4hrs, saturday he did 6hrs and sunday 6hrs  On tuesday because i was out he left for work at 6am and came home at 9.15 that night from the pub when he finished at 5pm. I got home at 9pm.  ---------- Post added 30-01-2015 at 13:43 ----------  financially we would both be poorer but he could claim benefits to help him keep the house and id survive on my wages, id just not have the luxuries i have now  A couple of drinks after work is one thing , what he is doing is not just “ chilling “ on his way home like I was talking about in my post. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
PeteMorris   10 #33 Posted January 30, 2015 there are loads of issues that would take to long to go into, to highlight just one He injured his knee in June and had to take 6mths off work, i supported him emotionally and finacially by paying all the bills other than his car insurance, life insurance and tv license.  He still managed to go to the pub on his sick pay and has got himself into £1000+ overdraft and owes me £1700 for his half of the bills i covered while he was off work.  He still goes to the pub every night so thats £70+ per week hes spending but hasnt got  He only spends £70 a week at the pub?...what does he drink?...Water?....I think you might need to recalculate that....  I just wonder if you start these threads to blow off a little steam or if you're genuinely looking for advice.....I can't make my mind up.  From what you say, if it were me, I'd 'walk'....But that's just me.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Mr Bloke   1,445 #34 Posted January 30, 2015 He only spends £70 a week at the pub?...what does he drink?...Water?....I think you might need to recalculate that.... I just wonder if you start these threads to blow off a little steam or if you're genuinely looking for advice.....I can't make my mind up.  From what you say, if it were me, I'd 'walk'....But that's just me.... I think there's a third option... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
PeteMorris   10 #35 Posted January 30, 2015 I think there's a third option...  Possibly.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Anna B   1,417 #36 Posted January 30, 2015 there are loads of issues that would take to long to go into, to highlight just one He injured his knee in June and had to take 6mths off work, i supported him emotionally and finacially by paying all the bills other than his car insurance, life insurance and tv license.  He still managed to go to the pub on his sick pay and has got himself into £1000+ overdraft and owes me £1700 for his half of the bills i covered while he was off work.  He still goes to the pub every night so thats £70+ per week hes spending but hasnt got  Then in answer to your original question: No, he is not being fair. Not at all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
