School grump 2: 4 is too young (especially for boys)

[cosywolf 10]

Could you provide some links to evidence this please? I am curious because the evidence I have seen of my own son and nephews contradicts this.

My own experience, as I said before, is that my son who was 4 yrs 2mths old when he started school was perfectly physically and emotionally developed enough to be ready.

He was potty trained by 2,completely dry overnight by 2.5 and had a wide vocabulary range. He has just turned 8 now and has over achieved consistantly since starting school, he has a reading and writing age of 9/10 and his maths skills are at the top range of what can be expected so it has been of no detriment to start at 4.

I believe parents should support learning and its never to early to start if structured correctly. I always read to my son from being very young and we have an active outdoors life, I believe children can learn a lot from nature and travel.

I used to help out in the reception class and I don't recall seeing any evidence that the younger boys were struggling, if anything it was the girls who seemed tired and grumpy by the end of the day and those were the ones crying when left by their mums.

 

Respectfully, all this proves is that you have a very high achieving child. Congratulations.

I think one thing is very clear from this thread: children develop at remarkably different ages.

[cosywolf 10]

what i dont understand is that surley a happy child is better off than a child that is academically abled at 4, why does a child need to be a font of knowledge at such a young age? my 4year old can write his name, is starting to read small words can count say the alphebet but he can also play! climb trees swim and interact with other kids and people which to me is far more important than sticking to a school sylubus at 4 years old, their academic time will come later on. I know i would be far happier watching him learn through play than taking him to school everyday in his uniform which he hates wearing!

 

Sadly it seems many people have indeed been brainwashed into believing that academic achievement is the most important thing, with simply enjoying childhood put to the back.

I used to think all the talk of overly competitive parents was overdone. Clearly I was wrong. All this talk of MY child did such-and-such when he was this old proves that. I find it a bit of a modern tragedy, frankly.

[mummysaz21 10]

ok maybe im coming in at the wrong time with it being a being heated but anyway

 

my son is 2 so obviously not near school age,but i do agree boys generaly are slower learning than girls im amazed at how little girls my sons age are saying full sentences ect

 

my opinion is if any child is slower in there development, surley that should mean school would be a great thing?i know me personaly i cant wait for my son to go to school, meet new friends learn new thing ect, admittadly it will be more structured but surly that is not a bad thing either?i have known boys who have very very very short attention spans such as my own and can only see it being a good thing him having more authority over him education wise not at 2 obviously but i think 4-5 is quiet adequate

[gina2007 10]

Gina, I would like to draw your attention to the above edit. That last bit was previously stroppier than I intended.

I would also like to point out that you simply do not feature in my life enough for me to hold a personal grudge or even dislike of you. I simply dislike what you are saying.

 

I'm interested in the breakdown here...it does seem to be the parents of boys in the majority who feel the school age is too young. I wonder if that is because the development issues really bring the issue home more starkly.

Or are girls really ready even emotionally more quickly...perhaps we should have gender based intakes.

 

Re the bit you changed :- im not blaming parents and children, im just saying parents could help out with education. It isnt who or what, we've met before, and people in the environment where we met generally dislike/disagree me. I have been slagged off to the maximum by people in that particular environment (I hope you know where I mean, I wouldnt want to bad mouth anywhere - its my experience what I went through) I was told under no circumstances, would I be judged (my age) or that it was a 'bad' place. Well, my experienced landed me in deep depression, what started as minor PND and escalted into severe depression what im still overcoming. I heard things/people and what those had to say - which is why I just feel that those who said or even agreed with the statements I heard, I generally take a dislike too. Im not saying it was you or anyone in particular, it was a bunch of comments during a conversation those thought I couldnt hear - that really got to me. I dont know who said what, as it was in my past - but you was at that particular place. I dont hold any grudges - I just wish that people would speak to me rather than talk about me behind my back. You know the saying, talk about me behind my back it only means im 2 paces in front. I havent got a grudge against anyone - I just wished that whoever it was that were saying the stuff and agreeing with it could just say to my face what they thought. But noone did. And again, I make it clear - its not against you or anyone in particular.

 

I disagree with the way you first reacted to my comment. I wasnt going on a male experience, but a female one yet you jumped down my throat for a reason unknown and when I said re-read it and apologise please you again, jumped down on me - and carried it on basically. If anyone cares to go back to my original posting - you'll see that I didnt put anything 'wrong' just that, I felt that people could help in their childrens education, as my sister did with my niece. Thats all I was trying to say. It was obviously taken in the wrong way, maybe because I worded it wrong or it was read wrong I dont know, I did keep saying I wouldnt know about boys yet because my son isnt at the school age, but I wont listen to studies etc because generally I feel that studies aim to one conclusion and one only, but I think, and hope, ive made the point clear.

[PAUL-ROOFER 10]

Sadly it seems many people have indeed been brainwashed into believing that academic achievement is the most important thing, with simply enjoying childhood put to the back.

I used to think all the talk of overly competitive parents was overdone. Clearly I was wrong. All this talk of MY child did such-and-such when he was this old proves that. I find it a bit of a modern tragedy, frankly.

 

i hope your post isnt aimed at me, i was simply saying that academic work at such a young age is not important, i said my child has got basic skills i.e counting reading etc but he really excells in playing,which i love to see him do rather than schooling, so not to sure what you mean im singing from the same sheet as you?

[claire1976 10]

Sadly it seems many people have indeed been brainwashed into believing that academic achievement is the most important thing, with simply enjoying childhood put to the back.

I used to think all the talk of overly competitive parents was overdone. Clearly I was wrong. All this talk of MY child did such-and-such when he was this old proves that. I find it a bit of a modern tragedy, frankly.

 

If this is aimed at me then I take offence to that statement. I am by no means a pushy parent or indeed competative but why can't some people accept that some children find learning fun.

We are outside at the weekends walking the dogs and enjoying nature and indeed that is also learning. Counting and reading can and should form part of everyday life and this is why my son is academically ahead of other peers, not because I am pushy but because we have incorporated it into everyday life.

My son spends every day after school outside playing with his friends climbing trees, collecting bugs and building dens. Why can't children have a childhood and learn at the same time? There are no boundaries when parents learn to encourage and balance rather than it being perceived as competative.

[jenz245 10]

My daughter has just turned one. Im already thinking about schools and making sure that she has the best education possible . I do feel that 4 is too young to start school and would love to home educate her for the first year if I could do so.

 

Maybe if schools took a much more relaxed approach to our childrens first years in school we wouldn't need to debate this topic.

 

I don't believe in the amount of homework children get these days either.

 

I went to a good primary school and never got homework apart from learning my spelling's and the odd topic project. I left primary school with good SAT results and went onto getting great GCSE's.

 

I also don't think those who would prefer their children to start school later are lazy but as parents they surely are the best person to gaige their childs ability and decide if they are ready to start school full time.

[PAUL-ROOFER 10]

just to add to this debate my little boy (as that is just what he is) had a parent teacher meet about 2weeks ago, whilst telling me about his work he implied that when he grows up he wants to be a dinosaur! his teacher then went on to explain that he couldnt possibly be a dinosaur for obvious reasons, i then interupted as he looked rather dissopointed and told him if he wanted to be a t-rex he could!! to her horror as i told her i know there's no way he could be a dinosaur, she knows he cannot be a dinosaur and in time he will reliase that he cannot so why at 4 break his heart as tomorrow he may wish to be a train again!! just thought i would share this with you while were on the subjuct of schools and kids.

[Corbyn 10]

It seems like everyone is taking offence to everything other people are saying. Maybe nobody is aiming their comments at anyone in particular but there are lots of differences of opinion. People's opinions on this subject are so different and that is probably because all children are so different.

 

I understand both points of view where the studies are concerned. They do seem to suggest that a later school starting age would be beneficial but they do not take into account individual children and as a parent you tend to feel that it's you that knows what is best for your child. I also wonder if they address any differences in daily lifestyle, culture etc which might also impact on how children cope with school? Does what suits children there suit children here?

 

I can't say whether I feel my son will be ready for school or not. I hope he will go into a reception class like the ones I have experienced. I also hope that I will be able to help make learning fun and relaxed for him and not be afraid to talk to somebody at the school if I am unhappy with things.

 

I have nothing against home education but I don't really like like the comments by hen hugger that suggest that children who go to school are subdued etc. Maybe some children are but maybe home education doesn't suit them all either. There are plenty of kids who thouroughly enjoy school.

 

Also there are plenty of people who have to work and have no choice but to leave their children before they are 6 or 7 and they shouldn't feel guilty. I have chosen to send my son to pre-school for 2 mornings since he was a little over 2 and a half. He has never had a problem with me leaving him and has great fun telling me what he's been up to. All kids are different.

[Saff 10]

Maybe my boy is unusual but he's almost finished his reception year and has loved it since the beginning and has done very well academically, reading fluently and loves writing (he turned 5 in December). I was surprised to read that some reception kids have had homework though! My son's school has a system whereby parents change their child's reading book whenever they want and there is no pressure to do this as far as I'm aware; there has also never been any homework sent home apart from the odd very informal worksheet which seemed to be more of a random piece of unfinished work from the classroom which didn't need to be returned for marking or anything. He however chooses to practise things he's done at school.

I am a qualified teacher, maybe this means I've supported him more than I've been aware.

 

I'm actually more worried about my daughter who is 4 at the end of this month and will start in January 2011. She's very bright but very clingy. I just hope the teachers who I think have been brilliant work their magic for her too.

[cosywolf 10]

i hope your post isnt aimed at me, i was simply saying that academic work at such a young age is not important, i said my child has got basic skills i.e counting reading etc but he really excells in playing,which i love to see him do rather than schooling, so not to sure what you mean im singing from the same sheet as you?

 

I was agreeing with you, hon, and expanding on it.

 

And I love the dinosaur story...

Edited July 12, 2010 by cosywolf

[cosywolf 10]

Gina, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. If you have issues with me personally, either move them into personal messages or let go of them. Do not bring them into your postings here.

 

Corbyn, you're right. It is very easy to take offence on these subjects. I'm rather PMT at the minute, which doesn't help.

 

Parents certainly have a role in their children's development, no-one is refuting that. But children develop at different speeds. That does not mean a child who develops faster has better or more loving parents - or even that the child will always be so quick to progress. Nor does it mean that a child who is slower to develop has less caring parents, or neglectful parents, or that the child will not overtake earlier bloomers at a later date.

 

Good lord, people rip into parents enough without us ripping into each other.

 

Academically, my child is achieving very well. But he is a young five year old, flighty and dreamy. And he would have benefited from a little more time to mature. Nor am I willing to push him to write as expected. It isn't worth it. I don't give a flying fig about comparing him with anyone else...I care a great deal about giving him an enjoyment of learning that will see him happily pursuing knowledge for the rest of his life.