Platonic relationships - can they be sustained?

[GSK]

Has anyone had a platonic relationship, and can they be sustained?

 

I'm often cautious with platonic relationships. I think if one person (either gender) harbours a secret crush or attraction for the other, then the whole thing stinks and is really dis-honest, like when a guy fancies a woman, and he's too chicken do let her know, so he just hangs around pretending to be friends. Stinks big-time.

 

However, if both people get along, and share simular interests or views, and maybe compliment each other a little, and enchance each others' lives, then that's all well and good. I'd also be open (infact I'd like) to having platonic friendships with several ladies (so long as there was honesty, and no awkwardness etc).

[purdyamos]

Indeed, Ruby, I remember vividly reading Plato for my Uni course and being quite startled at how different the original concept was from the phrase everyone understands in contemporary usage. Utopia was another eye-opener - I don't know anybody that would want to live there (as described by Thomas More)!

 

The ideal relationship was between a youth and a wise older mentor to help bring out the younger's potential.

 

I think the most famous literary form of the original platonic relationship is that in Shakespeare's sonnets. The ultimate paradox is that the young adored man is so beautiful it's his duty to go and form a relationship with a woman so that he can reproduce the beauty and make it immortal.

 

But in today's usage, isn't a 'platonic relationship' just a friendship? I'm a bit bewildered at what Cressida's getting at. I thought everybody had friends of the opposite sex.

 

In fact I've always been such a good chum to men in the past that they only ever used to see me as a gal pal rather than romantic material. I wasn't bred to be a romantic partner, and I always get put in the other pigeonhole marked 'mate' rather than 'Mate'. I'm still trying to figure out what makes men decide on that categorisation.

[GSK]

I'm still trying to figure out what makes men decide on that categorisation.

 

Hormones! (wooo hooo)

 

Maybe it's diff for each man? I'm sure it's not too difficult for a woman to be seen in a more 'sexual light' by us males. God. Women. mmmm.

[GSK]

Just to clarify, there's loads of women who post on here, and just going on the strength of what they have to say, there's more than one woman (who have posted on this very thread) that I'd like to be platonic friendships with, might not happen, it's not important, but for what it's worth, there's some cool lovely nice people in the world.

 

Okay, pass the sick bucket ....

[rubydazzler]

and I always get put in the other pigeonhole marked 'mate' rather than 'Mate'. I'm still trying to figure out what makes men decide on that categorisation.

 

It's better than being put into the 'bit on the side' category though. I'd rather be a mate anyday, than a bit of fluff!

 

If we weren't so mean, we'd have given Christian Carter his $30 and by now we'd have known all the secrets of the universe and been femmes fatale!

[metaphoria]

No, not for me. All my close friends are all female, as I do not like 'platonic' frienships with men. If I like a man, I want him all to myself, or not at all. I find that male friendships lead nowhere, and only cause friction or intrude in relationships, or I suspect that they habour feelings for me, and I am uncomfortable with that. I may be wrong, but this is how I feel, that male friends are of no importance to me, and never have been. If I am a platonic friend to any man, it's fair-weather, and of lesser importance to other things.

[purdyamos]

It's better than being put into the 'bit on the side' category though. I'd rather be a mate anyday, than a bit of fluff!

 

If we weren't so mean, we'd have given Christian Carter his $30 and by now we'd have known all the secrets of the universe and been femmes fatale!

 

ROFLAO! I came back to post that we ought to consult the mighty Christian Carter on the issue, you beat me to it.

[rubydazzler]

ROFLAO! I came back to post that we ought to consult the mighty Christian Carter on the issue, you beat me to it.

 

I knew that if anyone would get the joke, it'd be you ...

[*_ash_*]

No, not for me. All my close friends are all female, as I do not like 'platonic' frienships with men. If I like a man, I want him all to myself, or not at all. I find that male friendships lead nowhere, and only cause friction or intrude in relationships, or I suspect that they habour feelings for me, and I am uncomfortable with that. I may be wrong, but this is how I feel, that male friends are of no importance to me, and never have been. If I am a platonic friend to any man, it's fair-weather, and of lesser importance to other things.

That's really sad. I have a couple of very close male friends, but far more female friends. You must be missing out. Not everyone is trying to get your knickers off. (or vice versa)

 

 

 

EDIT: if you are a male poster. replace 'knickers' with 'pants' and discard this post

[metaphoria]

 

That's really sad. I have a couple of very close male friends, but far more female friends. You must be missing out. Not everyone is trying to get your knickers off. (or vice versa)

 

I didn't say they were. What I'm saying is, a third-pard party may not like it so much, and their opinion may matter more.