Muldoon

That's right ! Why not introduce the kids to the black market at their tender age by placing restrictions on what they can and can't stuff in their cake-holes. Were you brought up on wholemeal bread and water perchance ?

Reckon they are getting enough 'support' from the state as it is.

Providing you have all the right tools that is ! Most calipers are now fitted with torx bolts which not a lot of folks own.

All depends on the car make/model.

Vinegar ??? What's up with Hendo's ? ;-)

And what about the 'nutters?' How come Ì always get the knuckle dragging window licker sitting next to me ? telling me all about his magic pocket fluff and the secret behind the numbers on the tickets ! Not forgetting the old dears that smell of cabbage and wee with whistling hearing aids. Don't even get me started on the gobby little schoolkid who has to shout all the time to his mates because they all have earphones stuck in their lug holes going boom boom sodding tish ! Ìm going to lie down and then write a letter to the mail.

Do not try to fix it if it is not broken. Give me the money you would spend on these treatments and Ì will wave a chicken foot and feathers around whilst chanting some voodo crap that will make your car go like a 911. Honest. Ì tried it on my mates Porsche and it worked ! ;-)

How can slow asphyxiation be humane ? besides it's mate will come along and give it the kiss of life and then your'e for it !

Ì did try the Dyson (with all the extention tubes fitted) but the hairy beasts thought it was a hoot spinning around on a big ball of fluff in the cylInder. My 'Spidernator' ® is humane and lets me watch them go SPLAT!. Ì have no fear of them coming back to get me whilst Ì sleep, they crawl up your nose and lay egg's on your brain you know ! ;-)

Ì caught the story as the police were loading up a ruddy large mercedes that had been impounded for NO insurance ! How can someone afford such an expensive car and not insure it ? Maybe down to the fact that the fine is less than the insurance premium .. Madness ...

Not in Sheffield but close by, Ì can thoroughly recommend Mick's Motors in Worksop. He has a facebook page ! Quality used cars at affordable prices with no blag !

Probably down to the build up of un-burned oxygen and acetylene inside the hut as the plantpot had the flame set wrong. Ì would have loved to have seen the numpties face as the door flew towards him/her though. Priceless !

Can someone tell me why this is as Ì missed it on the news this morning. Is it down to the number of claim's ?

Ìt's blowing the apples off my tree's and they need at least another month of forced w tering before they get turned into sauce, pie's and cider. :-(

Ì climbed to near enough the top of the Christmas tree on the end of Fargate some years ago and was only let off by a passing policeman as Ì tore the backside out of my trousers on the way down. Good job Ì wasn't going commando at the time ! Well, it was winter...

It's funny watching tall newcomers bump their head's on the low beam's... ;-)

You could try ringing Trev at Milner Conversions who are engine conversion specialists based in Darley Dale nr Matlock. They mainly specialize in 4x4 conversions but Ì am sure he could point you in the right direction.

Ì take it that your ex fiance's sister didn't follow Islam then plaintalker ?

The Vine at Mosborough is still a nice pub ! ;-)

Ì am currently building a 'Spidernator' as Ì am severely phobic of the eight legged stid's. It comprises of a 2 foot long clear perspex cone that tapers from 5 inch diameter at the 'business' end down to 2 inch at the bottom which is closed off with a clear cap. Simply drill 10 holes around the periphery to enable 5 red postmans elastic band's to be threaded through and knotted on the ends, then tie a long piece of string to the crossover point of the five band's and feed it through a small hole in the capped end then tie a knot in the end of the string. Place large end of tube over unwanted visitor, pull back the bands with the string, then let go and "Splat !" Spider dispatched. SEEMPLE'S...

Any local travellers site should furnish you with a plethora of varied scrap from vehicles to pram's and the ubiquitous bald tyres and gas bottles. Ask very, very nicely though...

Travellers now jew's. you like fighting for lost causes then plopqwerty ?

They will never take out all the self righteous doorstep disciples that are the Jovo's though. wish they bloody would though... religion is for those with no self belief that are scared of mortality.

Thank's rossyrooney Ì will give them a call.

How's the bike ? not badly damaged Ì hope ?