Small Men.

[Padders 2,881]

What is it about these diddy men.

Why are they aggressive and know all's.

I've been to ASDA this morning and used the self-service till, I always pay by cash, so usually I have to wait a few minutes till one becomes available, Grrr..

So this morning I wait for one, Found one, checked out my purchases and attempted to pay, but it wouldn't accept my cash.

I called upon the assistance of a very small guy and told him my problem..

"It's card only" he told me in a very authoritarian way, as If I was dumb or summit.

No it isn't I said, and pointed to the pole which said "Cash and Card"

"Open your eyes" he said and pointed to a piece of cardboard stuck on the side of the till with cellotape that said "card" only.

I had a bit of a set to with him, and told him to get the "Card and Cash" sign covered up.

Anyway, I had to bag all my purchases up and find another cash till.

Ruddy jobsworths.

 

However, here's the thing, I absolutely support legislation that forces employers to consider people from all walks of life, no matter how much they dribble, or how many times a day they need to pray.

Sure, for every jobsworth, there's a Douglas Bader who overcame the loss of his legs to get back in a spitfire, or a Michael Bolton who overcame an astonishing haircut to become a pop star... David Blunkett, Admiral Nelson, history is littered with disabled people who have not just got by, but got on.

 Andrew Lloyd Webber made it, even though at some point in his teenage years his face melted, and every year millions of people have to overcome the massive problem of being born American.

 

So, if I was an employer and wanted a footballer, I'd get someone who was good at football and wouldn't care where they were from, what shape they were or even if they had a face like an horse.

If I wanted a secretary, I'd get someone who could type and wouldn't care how long her legs were, or if she had sumptuous breasts.

 

But there's only one type of person I wouldn't employ under any circumstances.  A Small Man.

Smallness trumps everything, it's not normal to be small, it defies national characteristics, to be born Italian and male is like winning the lottery of life, but that isn't so if your the height of a normal persons navel.

 

I mean it doesn't matter if fate deals the short arse a hand stuffed with aces, he simply won't be able to achieve a state of happiness if he has to go through life banging his head on coffee tables.

If your small, it doesn't matter whether your rich, poor, Aries, Leo or ginger, they will be consumed with a sense that people aren't just physically looking down on you , but mentally as well.

This makes them permanently aggressive, and equipped with a chip so deep they need to wear a tie to stop themselves falling in half.

I've never once met a small man who is balanced, they misinterpret every kind word, and treat every gesture as the opening salvo in a full-on war.

 

Taller people are at the cutting edge of civilisation, these people, lets say 6 foot are bound to be the brightest and cleverest and most advanced humans the world has ever seen, but those under 5 foot 1 are somewhere between the amoeba and the ape..

Anyway that's it, I'm boycotting  ASDA  for a few weeks, with a bit of luck they might have just got shut of him........

[The_DADDY 3,479]

8 minutes ago, Padders said:

What is it about these diddy men.

Why are they aggressive and know all's.

I've been to ASDA this morning and used the self-service till, I always pay by cash, so usually I have to wait a few minutes till one becomes available, Grrr..

So this morning I wait for one, Found one, checked out my purchases and attempted to pay, but it wouldn't accept my cash.

I called upon the assistance of a very small guy and told him my problem..

"It's card only" he told me in a very authoritarian way, as If I was dumb or summit.

No it isn't I said, and pointed to the pole which said "Cash and Card"

"Open your eyes" he said and pointed to a piece of cardboard stuck on the side of the till with cellotape that said "card" only.

I had a bit of a set to with him, and told him to get the "Card and Cash" sign covered up.

Anyway, I had to bag all my purchases up and find another cash till.

Ruddy jobsworths.

 

However, here's the thing, I absolutely support legislation that forces employers to consider people from all walks of life, no matter how much they dribble, or how many times a day they need to pray.

Sure, for every jobsworth, there's a Douglas Bader who overcame the loss of his legs to get back in a spitfire, or a Michael Bolton who overcame an astonishing haircut to become a pop star... David Blunkett, Admiral Nelson, history is littered with disabled people who have not just got by, but got on.

 Andrew Lloyd Webber made it, even though at some point in his teenage years his face melted, and every year millions of people have to overcome the massive problem of being born American.

 

So, if I was an employer and wanted a footballer, I'd get someone who was good at football and wouldn't care where they were from, what shape they were or even if they had a face like an horse.

If I wanted a secretary, I'd get someone who could type and wouldn't care how long her legs were, or if she had sumptuous breasts.

 

But there's only one type of person I wouldn't employ under any circumstances.  A Small Man.

Smallness trumps everything, it's not normal to be small, it defies national characteristics, to be born Italian and male is like winning the lottery of life, but that isn't so if your the height of a normal persons navel.

 

I mean it doesn't matter if fate deals the short arse a hand stuffed with aces, he simply won't be able to achieve a state of happiness if he has to go through life banging his head on coffee tables.

If your small, it doesn't matter whether your rich, poor, Aries, Leo or ginger, they will be consumed with a sense that people aren't just physically looking down on you , but mentally as well.

This makes them permanently aggressive, and equipped with a chip so deep they need to wear a tie to stop themselves falling in half.

I've never once met a small man who is balanced, they misinterpret every kind word, and treat every gesture as the opening salvo in a full-on war.

 

Taller people are at the cutting edge of civilisation, these people, lets say 6 foot are bound to be the brightest and cleverest and most advanced humans the world has ever seen, but those under 5 foot 1 are somewhere between the amoeba and the ape..

Anyway that's it, I'm boycotting  ASDA  for a few weeks, with a bit of luck they might have just got shut of him........

🤣🤣🤣

Padders does it again 👏👏👏

[hackey lad 3,991]

8 minutes ago, Padders said:

What is it about these diddy men.

Why are they aggressive and know all's.

I've been to ASDA this morning and used the self-service till, I always pay by cash, so usually I have to wait a few minutes till one becomes available, Grrr..

So this morning I wait for one, Found one, checked out my purchases and attempted to pay, but it wouldn't accept my cash.

I called upon the assistance of a very small guy and told him my problem..

"It's card only" he told me in a very authoritarian way, as If I was dumb or summit.

No it isn't I said, and pointed to the pole which said "Cash and Card"

"Open your eyes" he said and pointed to a piece of cardboard stuck on the side of the till with cellotape that said "card" only.

I had a bit of a set to with him, and told him to get the "Card and Cash" sign covered up.

Anyway, I had to bag all my purchases up and find another cash till.

Ruddy jobsworths.

 

However, here's the thing, I absolutely support legislation that forces employers to consider people from all walks of life, no matter how much they dribble, or how many times a day they need to pray.

Sure, for every jobsworth, there's a Douglas Bader who overcame the loss of his legs to get back in a spitfire, or a Michael Bolton who overcame an astonishing haircut to become a pop star... David Blunkett, Admiral Nelson, history is littered with disabled people who have not just got by, but got on.

 Andrew Lloyd Webber made it, even though at some point in his teenage years his face melted, and every year millions of people have to overcome the massive problem of being born American.

 

So, if I was an employer and wanted a footballer, I'd get someone who was good at football and wouldn't care where they were from, what shape they were or even if they had a face like an horse.

If I wanted a secretary, I'd get someone who could type and wouldn't care how long her legs were, or if she had sumptuous breasts.

 

But there's only one type of person I wouldn't employ under any circumstances.  A Small Man.

Smallness trumps everything, it's not normal to be small, it defies national characteristics, to be born Italian and male is like winning the lottery of life, but that isn't so if your the height of a normal persons navel.

 

I mean it doesn't matter if fate deals the short arse a hand stuffed with aces, he simply won't be able to achieve a state of happiness if he has to go through life banging his head on coffee tables.

If your small, it doesn't matter whether your rich, poor, Aries, Leo or ginger, they will be consumed with a sense that people aren't just physically looking down on you , but mentally as well.

This makes them permanently aggressive, and equipped with a chip so deep they need to wear a tie to stop themselves falling in half.

I've never once met a small man who is balanced, they misinterpret every kind word, and treat every gesture as the opening salvo in a full-on war.

 

Taller people are at the cutting edge of civilisation, these people, lets say 6 foot are bound to be the brightest and cleverest and most advanced humans the world has ever seen, but those under 5 foot 1 are somewhere between the amoeba and the ape..

Anyway that's it, I'm boycotting  ASDA  for a few weeks, with a bit of luck they might have just got shut of him........

Sorry but I don’t believe what you say about the Secretary   😃

[hackey lad 3,991]

The bit about tall people is correct though  😃

[Thirsty Relic 216]

21 minutes ago, hackey lad said:

The bit about tall people is correct though  😃

I guess you are over 6 foot....?

[hackey lad 3,991]

4 minutes ago, Thirsty Relic said:

I guess you are over 6 foot....?

 😂😂😂

[Draggletail 61]

32 minutes ago, Padders said:

What is it about these diddy men.

Why are they aggressive and know all's.

I've been to ASDA this morning and used the self-service till, I always pay by cash, so usually I have to wait a few minutes till one becomes available, Grrr..

So this morning I wait for one, Found one, checked out my purchases and attempted to pay, but it wouldn't accept my cash.

I called upon the assistance of a very small guy and told him my problem..

"It's card only" he told me in a very authoritarian way, as If I was dumb or summit.

No it isn't I said, and pointed to the pole which said "Cash and Card"

"Open your eyes" he said and pointed to a piece of cardboard stuck on the side of the till with cellotape that said "card" only.

I had a bit of a set to with him, and told him to get the "Card and Cash" sign covered up.

Anyway, I had to bag all my purchases up and find another cash till.

Ruddy jobsworths.

 

However, here's the thing, I absolutely support legislation that forces employers to consider people from all walks of life, no matter how much they dribble, or how many times a day they need to pray.

Sure, for every jobsworth, there's a Douglas Bader who overcame the loss of his legs to get back in a spitfire, or a Michael Bolton who overcame an astonishing haircut to become a pop star... David Blunkett, Admiral Nelson, history is littered with disabled people who have not just got by, but got on.

 Andrew Lloyd Webber made it, even though at some point in his teenage years his face melted, and every year millions of people have to overcome the massive problem of being born American.

 

So, if I was an employer and wanted a footballer, I'd get someone who was good at football and wouldn't care where they were from, what shape they were or even if they had a face like an horse.

If I wanted a secretary, I'd get someone who could type and wouldn't care how long her legs were, or if she had sumptuous breasts.

 

But there's only one type of person I wouldn't employ under any circumstances.  A Small Man.

Smallness trumps everything, it's not normal to be small, it defies national characteristics, to be born Italian and male is like winning the lottery of life, but that isn't so if your the height of a normal persons navel.

 

I mean it doesn't matter if fate deals the short arse a hand stuffed with aces, he simply won't be able to achieve a state of happiness if he has to go through life banging his head on coffee tables.

If your small, it doesn't matter whether your rich, poor, Aries, Leo or ginger, they will be consumed with a sense that people aren't just physically looking down on you , but mentally as well.

This makes them permanently aggressive, and equipped with a chip so deep they need to wear a tie to stop themselves falling in half.

I've never once met a small man who is balanced, they misinterpret every kind word, and treat every gesture as the opening salvo in a full-on war.

 

Taller people are at the cutting edge of civilisation, these people, lets say 6 foot are bound to be the brightest and cleverest and most advanced humans the world has ever seen, but those under 5 foot 1 are somewhere between the amoeba and the ape..

Anyway that's it, I'm boycotting  ASDA  for a few weeks, with a bit of luck they might have just got shut of him........

Very creatively written if you don't mind me saying so, maybe born of the irritation with the conflict, letting a bit of steam off... I had a friend years ago who was unusually short, it didn't seem to hold him back, he was very self confident and a 'go getter' He confided in me one day about his lack of height and said that all the short people he had known seemed to have a 'chip on their should'.  This might have been a good time to inform him of his huge passive aggressiveness.... 

[echo beach 599]

Hey Padders you’ve upset Doddy big time saying that.

He’s turning in his grave and the Diddy Men are now on the march from Knotty Ash  towards Sheffield complete with their tickling sticks so you’d better watch out!😃

 

 

echo

[Al Bundy 1,577]

1 hour ago, The_DADDY said:

I mean it doesn't matter if fate deals the short arse a hand stuffed with aces, he simply won't be able to achieve a state of happiness if he has to go through life banging his head on coffee tables.

Spat me coffee out!!

 

[crookesey 635]

1 hour ago, Padders said:

What is it about these diddy men.

Why are they aggressive and know all's.

I've been to ASDA this morning and used the self-service till, I always pay by cash, so usually I have to wait a few minutes till one becomes available, Grrr..

So this morning I wait for one, Found one, checked out my purchases and attempted to pay, but it wouldn't accept my cash.

I called upon the assistance of a very small guy and told him my problem..

"It's card only" he told me in a very authoritarian way, as If I was dumb or summit.

No it isn't I said, and pointed to the pole which said "Cash and Card"

"Open your eyes" he said and pointed to a piece of cardboard stuck on the side of the till with cellotape that said "card" only.

I had a bit of a set to with him, and told him to get the "Card and Cash" sign covered up.

Anyway, I had to bag all my purchases up and find another cash till.

Ruddy jobsworths.

 

However, here's the thing, I absolutely support legislation that forces employers to consider people from all walks of life, no matter how much they dribble, or how many times a day they need to pray.

Sure, for every jobsworth, there's a Douglas Bader who overcame the loss of his legs to get back in a spitfire, or a Michael Bolton who overcame an astonishing haircut to become a pop star... David Blunkett, Admiral Nelson, history is littered with disabled people who have not just got by, but got on.

 Andrew Lloyd Webber made it, even though at some point in his teenage years his face melted, and every year millions of people have to overcome the massive problem of being born American.

 

So, if I was an employer and wanted a footballer, I'd get someone who was good at football and wouldn't care where they were from, what shape they were or even if they had a face like an horse.

If I wanted a secretary, I'd get someone who could type and wouldn't care how long her legs were, or if she had sumptuous breasts.

 

But there's only one type of person I wouldn't employ under any circumstances.  A Small Man.

Smallness trumps everything, it's not normal to be small, it defies national characteristics, to be born Italian and male is like winning the lottery of life, but that isn't so if your the height of a normal persons navel.

 

I mean it doesn't matter if fate deals the short arse a hand stuffed with aces, he simply won't be able to achieve a state of happiness if he has to go through life banging his head on coffee tables.

If your small, it doesn't matter whether your rich, poor, Aries, Leo or ginger, they will be consumed with a sense that people aren't just physically looking down on you , but mentally as well.

This makes them permanently aggressive, and equipped with a chip so deep they need to wear a tie to stop themselves falling in half.

I've never once met a small man who is balanced, they misinterpret every kind word, and treat every gesture as the opening salvo in a full-on war.

 

Taller people are at the cutting edge of civilisation, these people, lets say 6 foot are bound to be the brightest and cleverest and most advanced humans the world has ever seen, but those under 5 foot 1 are somewhere between the amoeba and the ape..

Anyway that's it, I'm boycotting  ASDA  for a few weeks, with a bit of luck they might have just got shut of him........

I bet that you still drink shorts. 🤪

[RollingJ 2,058]

As a 'small man' (5' 0" in my socks) and I didn't know you were generalising - very cleverly - I could get really upset and report you to Mr. Plod for discrimination, but as I couldn't really care less 😂😂😂😂

[The_DADDY 3,479]

6 minutes ago, RollingJ said:

As a 'small man' (5' 0" in my socks) and I didn't know you were generalising - very cleverly - I could get really upset and report you to Mr. Plod for discrimination, but as I couldn't really care less 😂😂😂😂

Are you sure you can reach the phone table to make the call?