When Are Old People Put Into Care?

[harvey19 541]

A  phrases I remember older people saying when I was young is,

There is nowt to get old for.

 

[trastrick 866]

2 hours ago, Anna B said:

Thanks for that. Like Petemcewan, being put into care against my will scares me to death. I have no wish to go into care under any circumstances.

 

Of course 'in their best interests' is subjective and opens up a whole can of worms. 'Lack of capacity' is also dubious. By saying they don't want to go into care when it's 'in their best interests' can be interpreted as lack of capacity to make their own decision. But why prolong life if it is reduced to dribbling in a corner of some care home? 

 

A relative of mine went into a care home because it was said she was at risk of falling at home. (She'd never actually fallen.) Within a couple of months of being in the very expensive care home which delivered very little in the way of care, she had a fall trying to get to the toilet, broke her shoulder, which was not treated (except with pain killers,) and left to die alone, delirious with pain, in a cot in her room. 

 

Dreadful.

Which is why I do not wish to prolong my life in a care home. And I think I should have every right to say that.

A care home is a good place to put an old person, who's family can't, or won't, take care of her in her dotage.

 

Prevents the nice lady from next door who pops in daily to see if she's OK, from inheriting her worldly goods,, so the inlaws can argue about who gets what! 

 

[crookesey 635]

10 minutes ago, trastrick said:

A care home is a good place to put an old person, who's family can't, or won't, take care of her in her dotage.

 

Prevents the nice lady from next door who pops in daily to see if she's OK, from inheriting her worldly goods,, so the inlaws can argue about who gets what! 

 

You little cynic you, when my wife’s late aunt’s vey posh live in bloke popped it relatives of his that she had never heard of came out of the woodwork. The thing was it was her who owned the property, the cars and the money, she just didn’t have the class, they were very annoyed. 😉

[Becky B 31]

I'd also like to put in that some people thrive in care homes.  It's not all doom and gloom.

[cuttsie 1,091]

1 hour ago, trastrick said:

A care home is a good place to put an old person, who's family can't, or won't, take care of her in her dotage.

 

Prevents the nice lady from next door who pops in daily to see if she's OK, from inheriting her worldly goods,, so the inlaws can argue about who gets what! 

 

bang on

[trastrick 866]

9 minutes ago, Becky B said:

I'd also like to put in that some people thrive in care homes.  It's not all doom and gloom.

I don't know about "thriving" in a place where everyday the people around you are dying?

[cuttsie 1,091]

1 minute ago, trastrick said:

I don't know about "thriving" in a place where everyday the people around you are dying?

A serial killer loose . Some die very quickly in  those holmes 

[trastrick 866]

12 minutes ago, cuttsie said:

A serial killer loose . Some die very quickly in  those holmes 

I can see the point if they require round the clock medical attention.

 

But I'm in favor of voluntary euthanasia!

Edited December 11, 2022 by trastrick

[El Cid 221]

21 minutes ago, cuttsie said:

A serial killer loose . Some die very quickly in  those holmes 

I remember reading that they only live two years, on average. But then they are old and unwell when they go in.

1 hour ago, trastrick said:

 

Prevents the nice lady from next door who pops in daily to see if she's OK, from inheriting her worldly goods,, so the inlaws can argue about who gets what! 

My will, will specifically say £xx to the person looking after me. It's difficult to know how to word it, when I don't know the circumstances or how much money I will have.

It used to be assumed that the family members would care for their old ones, but these days they are likely to live miles away.

[trastrick 866]

6 minutes ago, El Cid said:

I remember reading that they only live two years, on average. But then they are old and unwell when they go in.

I was old and tired and ready to pack it in when I went for a vacation, maybe my last I told my brother, to DR.

 

13 years later, I'm living with love, young, old, music, dancing, kids and beautiful nature. 

 

He laughs and reminds me! 

 

[crookesey 635]

I recently attended my annual waste of time at the Hallamshire, young doctor, treat me with respect but as a very old person, I’m 75 and other than Rheumatoid Arthritis, I’m in pretty good form. He recommended exercise, I told him that I take a 5 miles dog walk every morning, he hadn’t got an answer. All my old mates that are still with us are very much the same as me, nobody gets out alive but we’re not fools to be patronised by folk younger than our kids.

 

 

[Anna B 1,417]

3 hours ago, dan_999uk said:

Absolutely not. The MCA specifically recognises a person with capacity's ability to make a decision others might consider unwise, for instance refusing medical treatment following an intentional overdose even where it may cause disability or death. Making an unwise decision doesn't mean you lack capacity.

 

You do have the right to say that, however what might be more useful is actually writing down your wishes, as those making decisions on behalf of people who lack capacity are required to take such directions into account. Compassion in Dying has comprehensive information about Advances Decisions, Advance Care Plans, Advance Statements and DNACPR. 

Thankyou. Good advice.

 

 

Becky's point below is also probably true too, but there's a big difference between Care Homes and Residential Homes which not everyone is aware of. 

2 hours ago, Becky B said:

I'd also like to put in that some people thrive in care homes.  It's not all doom and gloom.

Edited December 11, 2022 by Anna B