School for 2 year olds?

[Grenoside123]

Shocking idea. This will only encourage more lazy parenting and I think most people would agree, there are enough lazy parents dragging up kids already.

Any child entering school unable to do the basics should be refered to social services for some sort of home visit. Unless the child has development issues, there is absolutely no excuse for a 4/5 year old not to be able to use a toilet or hold a pencil etc.

Put the onus on the parents. Why bother having a child if you can't even be bothered to invest enough time in them to teach them the simplest of life skills?

[salsafan]

...

 

I think that people who struggled in the 50s with poverty had no knowledge of what we know in today's world, and probably had an easier job, in that their struggle was much closer to how we evolved - fighting to survive, rather than today where I think the fight is more against anything that doesn't give someone enough money when they think they're owed something and/or demand it.

Ignorance is bliss. What you do not know will not hurt you. If it does not hurt you, then you will feel a sense of belonging and compassion as well. You will just continue to move forward and onward.

 

I think so too. My mother always pushed me to do better, and she is indeed a pusher too. Maybe she could see how worst her generation were and tried to push, but then when things got better, it kind of went the other way. After the boom in her generation, things obviously got worst by my generation. An education is no longer revered. The uneducated seemingly more educated than you are, and you end up trapped in a no man's land situation.

 

Maybe there needs to be a level of pragmatism. I now see my friends struggling to bring in a child all on their own, and I revere and is very sentimentally attached to how we were raised. Which were with families around, and cousins to play with, and we had a great time too. Maybe because of how the numerous amount of information is available, I have to work the other way and shield further information from my nephew, and filter what I say, and what I know, and give them a sense of hope too for the future. Cos I think the internet has way overexposed and stress children in this day and age.

 

Children should indeed go to nursery at a young age. I think nursery should indeed be free in this country. I also never went to nursery too, but I was raised by my grandmother. I played with other children too. Which really shows you whether you survive or not. It goes to show how the world has changed, and those raised with love can indeed will continue this kind of journey and path. It is not possible in the UK for a single couple without support from their families or parents and the state has to be lumped with this kind of bill. If grandparents can retire early, then why can they not provide some wisdom and guidance to their young grandkids ?

 

---------- Post added 04-04-2014 at 12:32 ----------

 

I've never understood why a parent wouldn't toilet train their kids. Surely it takes more effort to be changing nappies until their five than to train them to use the toilet when they're two (or 18 months or whenever)?

 

jb

 

Because it costs money. People say that UK is wealthy but it is not when your crisps is now at 1 pound, and that a potty is say another few pounds, and your average weekly shop is say 10 pound for a family. Statistically speaking, a 1 pound potty is 1/10 of a weekly shop for a family. Do you think that is right ? It should be something like 1/20 or as basic as 1/100th ! In London, nursery is around 4.26 per hour. People take their children to nursery by the hour.

 

http://www.daycaretrust.org.uk/data/files/Research/costs_surveys/Childcare_Costs_Survey_2013.pdf

Edited April 4, 2014 by salsafan

[aliceBB]

What do some stay-at-home parents do all day? Interesting question.

 

Spend a lot of time watching daytime TV, on facebook and their mobile phones?

 

Rarely talk to their children? That's the most disturbing finding - that there's a significant minority of children who turn up at school aged 5 unable to hold a conversation or even speak intelligibly. These are not children with learning disabilities - they just haven't been talked to very much since birth. The other stuff (holding a pen, wiping their own bottoms, etc.), can be taught quite quickly at age 5, but you cannot make up for the lack of interaction between a parent/carer and a child in that vital pre-school period. It's when the brain develops most quickly and 'grows' the neural pathways for language. It's been established that if language development is not encouraged between birth and three years old (when it should be coming on exponentially), the child's intellectual development is compromised - and generally remains so. Catch-up activities, however intensive, at school, can only achieve a limited amount. Combined with the low self-esteem that accompanies being ignored, it's really difficult for these children to succeed in a school environment.

 

It's desperate.

Edited April 4, 2014 by aliceBB

[tzijlstra]

It is the difference between telling a three year old falling of a chair that he is stupid for climbing on it in the first place and telling a three year old falling of a chair that it is daddy's fault for leaving the chair where he could climb on it.

 

Parenting is also about discipline, too many don't take that into account at all. This doesn't just return in behaviour in general (spoiled kids) but also in their learning - a child without discipline will not understand that it is their duty to learn, not their parents'

[salsafan]

Maybe if there are more leaflets and things like that to educate new parents maybe that would be better ? I was reading the other day that children have a lot more neural networks and if they do not use them, then this is where they will die out as the child learns. So the speech, tactile communication and everything else is quite important when they are young. I mean, I did not know that by copying and learning to play with friends at a young age taught me such important skills much later on in life. Who would really know ? But in this day and age, children are kept indoors and from harm, and where will they be finding the time to play with others any way ? When each of my sibling have their child, everyone in the family learns to bring up the child. We all tow the line too and let the child know and think that my mother is at the top of the hierarchy and that we do follow her instructions in his presence, which we do to a large respect. So that he learns also what it means to follow instructions. Can you find this kind of thing in this day and age socially ?

[aliceBB]

It is the difference between telling a three year old falling of a chair that he is stupid for climbing on it in the first place and telling a three year old falling of a chair that it is daddy's fault for leaving the chair where he could climb on it.

 

'

 

Does it have to be either? Perhaps it is both, although curiosity in a child is not the same as stupidity. I think the child will treat it as a learning experience (be more careful when climbing on chairs), which isn't a bad thing. I'd be inclined just to give them a cuddle and read them a story to help them calm down.

[medusa]

How can a parent NOT understand that it is their job to get their child to be comfortable in social situations, able to eat properly with a knife and fork and sit properly and act politely at a table, able to have a conversation that includes asking and answering questions about your own opinions, likes/dislikes, what you did today and similar? Surely these are basic skills that take no formal education?

[*_ash_*]

 

These days, it seems, almost anything goes. And for a lot I'm afraid, that's hardly anything at all.

 

It seems easier to just stick a tablet in their hands and let them play on that.

 

Ignorance is bliss. What you do not know will not hurt you. If it does not hurt you, then you will feel a sense of belonging and compassion as well. You will just continue to move forward and onward.

 

Funnily enough, this thread has reminded me of a Simpsons sketch - The virtual gardening one.

[Grenoside123]

Maybe if there are more leaflets and things like that to educate new parents maybe that would be better ? I was reading the other day that children have a lot more neural networks and if they do not use them, then this is where they will die out as the child learns. So the speech, tactile communication and everything else is quite important when they are young. I mean, I did not know that by copying and learning to play with friends at a young age taught me such important skills much later on in life. Who would really know ? But in this day and age, children are kept indoors and from harm, and where will they be finding the time to play with others any way ? When each of my sibling have their child, everyone in the family learns to bring up the child. We all tow the line too and let the child know and think that my mother is at the top of the hierarchy and that we do follow her instructions in his presence, which we do to a large respect. So that he learns also what it means to follow instructions. Can you find this kind of thing in this day and age socially ?

 

You can't teach someone common sense with a leaflet!

If parents need a leaflet to tell them that it's their responsibility to teach their child to use a toilet, knife and folk, pencil etc, then they really shouldn't be allowed kids!

[salsafan]

Does it have to be either? Perhaps it is both, although curiosity in a child is not the same as stupidity. I think the child will treat it as a learning experience (be more careful when climbing on chairs), which isn't a bad thing. I'd be inclined just to give them a cuddle and read them a story to help them calm down.

But you shouldn't use harsh words to describe a child, should you though ? Because if we must be fair and see a child for being a child, it is not their fault that they are actually young and need to learn as we also learned too. We may as adults think back to when we were a child and feel that we were ignorant. But in reality, and if we see it objectively, they are right where they need to be, and need to go through the exact same journey as we did when growing up. Yes, we may "judge" now, and feel that it is natural, but why shouldn't we use this kind of thoughts and put that to good use and bring out the best in the next generation of children ?

 

Carrots and sticks. To motivate and to also be harsh when it is too wrong. It really is finding that sweet spot for each child to bring them out and work with that really. To me, I would and hope I find the strength when I have my own child, to really focus and bring the best out of him. I can now appreciate why my mother had such a handful of bringing 4 of us up, and my older siblings always used to bully me. I can also see through us our own weaknesses and strengths too and when to use it for good reasons. 2 of us were more intellectual, and 2 of us were proactive insane doers who couldn't sit still. No wonder my father kept it cool and quiet. Maybe for us we learnt from one another, but for those single parents or couples, they need to be their own playmate as well as educator, on top of holding down a job, and who know how to bring out the best from a child if you do not necessarily know what they need? I actually ask my mother a lot for her opinions on child rearing.

Edited April 4, 2014 by salsafan