Children and modern etiquette

[madasfish 10]

Still some people don't take the point that not all people are "letting" their child run riot. Some children are easier than others. Personally I find parents who are always looking down their nose at other people and who think their child is perfect, just as annoying as the ones that clearly don't give a damm.

 

Me too; I have 4 and each of them has their own personalitiies and temperment.......we often say if we had had out last first then they would have been an only child!!

 

But despite this one being "harder" we do still try and enstall those same basic manners..........so no "please" no whatever (even if we are still there 1/2 later!!).

 

I think people do judge unfairly sometimes but when they see an apparent total lack of disregard by the parent as to what the child is doing there really is no wonder.

[Bonny 10]

I think 'please' and 'thank you' are among the most important words a child can learn. I insist on it with my own child and expect it from others. Good manners and knowing how to behave properly according the situation are the basic principles all parents should teach their children. Sadly if the parents don't posses these skills their children will not learn by example.

 

I hope the girls enjoyed the Gruffalo's Child Zebra, if i'd known it was on i'd have taken W. And Strix, have a look round for another playgroup.

[Corbyn 10]

I always say please and thank you and I have always taught my 4 year old to say them. I also say them for my 18 month old so she gets used to hearing when she should be using them. I model appropriate behaviour and praise it when my kids engage in it. If my son behaves inappropriately then I really don't think that's because I have not set a good example.

[Bonny 10]

I'd rather children be individuals with personality than robots who behave perfectly in every situation. When my little one behaves inappropriately then I try to explain what was wrong and why. I don't expect him to understand everything but my hope is that by knowing why people might find certain behaviour unacceptable then he'll be able to apply that knowledge to different circumstances too.

 

Going back to the OP and being in a theatre, I would expect most people to know they should be quiet when the show is on, if they can't keep themselves or their children reasonably quiet then they should have the good grace to leave and not spoil it for everyone else.

[jenz245 10]

We went to In the night garden live on Friday morning and by the sounds of it the children there were better behaved than those seeing the Gruffalo and the children's ages at ITNG ranged from newborn to about 5.

 

I think it is important for children to have manners in all situations not just social.

I teach my daughter (who is 2 this June) to say please and Thank you at home when she is wanting a drink, some lunch, wanting to watch mickey mouse etc.

She is now starting to do this without been prompted. Her speech isn't very clear at the minute and she struggles with it but the other day I passed her her lunch without her fork so I went to get one passd it her and she said "ta mama" and that for me made me really proud.

Her speech may not be on the same level as other children her age but to say "pea's" and "ta" makes me realise what a pleasent polite little girl she is.

[lauren84 11]

Personally I find parents who are always looking down their nose at other people and who think their child is perfect, just as annoying as the ones that clearly don't give a damm.

 

Here here! More than likely get a big shock come teenage years

[lauren84 11]

Going back to the OP and being in a theatre, I would expect most people to know they should be quiet when the show is on, if they can't keep themselves or their children reasonably quiet then they should have the good grace to leave and not spoil it for everyone else.

 

I have once gone to have a carvery meal for my birthday, think it was Treble Bob at Barlborough, just sat down to eat and usually my little one is great when we are out for something to eat - he was about 18 months old at this particular time.

 

He wouldn't eat, pushed his feet against the table and nearly toppled the high chair backwards. I picked up my glass of wine, took a big gulp, tucked him under my arm whilst my husband settled the bill!

 

I was gutted that we had just spent over £20 and not even ate any of it but a mouthful but I couldn't let others have their meal ruined by a small child having a terrible tantrum.

[Zebra 10]

Hey Bonny, never thought to tell people as I found out fairly last minute but I should have thought to suggest it since W got such a lot out of the last one!

 

I'm really glad to see I'm not the only one who still has a level and standard which should be adhered to. I'm also glad to see that it covers a wide range of behaviours and situations instead of the usual cursory situations.

 

My partners parents bought my girls Easter chocolate rabbits and they've written a thank you note which I find appropriate but I realise it's a dying trend. That's a shame. My girls usually say thank you in person but sine they don't see his parents often a note is better in this instance. It's a shame to lose all the finer aspects of communication.

[LJB23 10]

We took our kids (5 and 3) to see the chuckle brothers the other saturday and they were very well behaved. Infact all the kids there were, our only complaint was a man who sat behind us had obviously seen the show before and spent the entire time telling his kids what would happen next!

 

As for bad behaviour etc. We took our 3 kids (also have a 9month old) out to a local golf club the other day when the weather was nice. There's a play area for kids with a slide, little tykes wendy house etc. Now my kids wanted to play in the wendy house but darent as 3 boys were sat on top of it scaring all the kids. The boys were about 11, 12ish. And there parents just sat there and did nothing, just sat supping their larger. Now if it was my kids I would have told them to get down. But I suppose some parents think out of sight, out of mind!

[Number Six 10]

I don' think people give their kids enough information, which in turn makes them frustrated.

 

You know that feeling when the nice relaxing day off you'd been waiting for is taken from you because it turns out you're supposed to be going to the in-laws, and it's one of those events that doesn't really seem to have a defined start or end, so you're there, sort of enjoying it, but wanting to be doing something else, and not really knowing how long it will be before you can do it?

 

That appears to be the whole life of a lot of kids I see about. They're picked up, put in prams, strapped down, unstrapped, put in cars, strapped down, unstrapped, walked to somewhere they don't know where it is, told what to do there, picked up again and strapped in the car again ... and so on.

 

It's my observation that people don't seem to tell their kids what's going on, but we all know they understand these things at some level - and the more you tell them what's going on, the more they understand it. Our daughter decided she really wanted to play with her tunnel/tent thing last night just after her bath. We got the bottom lip, the tears and TUNNEL. PLAY. DOWN(stairs). NOW. TUNNEL. PLEASE. BALL. TUNNEL. Our only criteria for whether or not she can do things is 'Is this a reasonable request?' - in this case, being as she was wet and exhausted, going to kick her house-ball down her tunnel tent (which she can do for hours, seemingly) was not reasonable, so we told her not just why she couldn't do it, but when she could do it. The 'strop' such as it was became TUNNEL! (to)MORROW! BALL! MORNINK. BREAKFAST. TUNNEL! PLAY!

 

When we're at the park I see no end of people manhandling a crying child out of a swing and wrestling them in to a buggy, to be wheeled off somewhere else. I'd kick off!

 

It's the same at restaurants. I tell our daughter where we are going, who is going to be there, and how long we will be there. She's only 21 months, but she understands, because we've always done it, and generally she's really good.

 

She happily sat on my knee yesterday and ate a jacket potato herself with a proper fork - I don't really see the point in brightly coloured cutlery with no sharp edges; I can't eat properly with it and I've been using cutlery for 36 years. Again, in the same cafe there was a family feeding a child who looked about the same age as my daughter, and he hated it, and so caused a fuss. Who wants to be fed? He wanted to do it himself, and choose what he had off his plate, and explore the taste and texture of food. Instead he was getting a bit of everything mashed up (so you can't tell what each bit tastes of feels like) forced into his mouth, whether he wanted it or not. I heard the parents ask why he couldn't be good 'like that little girl over there' - if he could form the sentence he no doubt would have asked why he wasn't allowed to feed himself, at his own pace, while someone had a conversation he could access with him, 'like that little girl over there' - but he couldn't, so he got annoyed, and through no fault of his own gained a tiny bit more of a reputation for being 'fussy' - making a repeat at the next occasion more likely Maybe I should have said something for him?

 

I don't know what my point is, really! Just that a lot of parents treat their kids as emotionless robots that should be fine if you put them in a swing and then take them out without warning or being told what is happening next, or take them to a restaurant without telling them, put them in a chair and don't tell them how to behave or how long they will need to be there. A lot of parents just don't seem to talk to their kids at all, so it's no wonder the kids 'misbehave' The example of the kids on the roof of the playhouse is just passive parenting - 'If there is no fuss, I can ignore them' - I suppose we all do it sometimes, but it's so much more fun for everyone if you get involved.

 

Some parents I see around just don't seem to get it, and not only do their kids lose out, and the other people whom their kids then disturb in their desperate attempt to get attention suffer, but the parents lose too.

 

As you can probably gather, I'm one of those irritating parents who think they are always right

[Aries22 10]

When did etiquette become modern, manners are manners and always has been.

[talulabel 10]

sometimes my stepson behaves like an angel, other times he is fed up - even if it is when we're going to cinema to see a film of his choice!

what i don't like is when the guy who regularly comes into the shop where i work commenting on my parenting skills - saying "I saw you at cineworld the other week with a little boy, you and your partner were making a big fuss and more noise than he was!"

well, i don't comment on other people and their parenting skills, so please don't comment on mine!