GeorgyGirl

A woman and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig." The woman says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck." He says, "I was talking to the duck." So a guy walks into a bar, looking really moody and orders immediately a double-whiskey. Then he starts rambling on about how lousy a wife he's got, until the bartender finally says: "You know, I don't understand what you're complaining about. All the other guys in here only have compliments about your wife." Skunk walks into a bar and he says, "Hey where did everybody go?" E-flat walks into a bar, The bartender says, sorry, we don't serve minors...... A potato walks into a bar and all eyes were on him! A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?" The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging." "Hanging? Who are they hanging?" "Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied. "What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked. "Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes." "Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?" "Rustling," said the bartender. Two guys are sitting at a bar. One guy says to the other, "Do you know that lions have sex 10 or 15 times a night?". The other guy says, "Damn, I just joined the Rotary Club." A termite walks into a bar and says is the bartender here? A hamburger and a french fry walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't serve food here In a bar in a remote Alaskan town, a newcomer hears people yell out numbers (#23!, #56, etc.) and then everyone laughs. He asks the guy next to him what's going on, and he says the jokes have been told so many times, people just yell out their numbers instead of retelling them. So he yells out #27! but nobody laughs. The guy next to him says, "Some people can tell a joke, and some people can't." A guy walks into a bar. There's nobody there except the bartender and a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. The man says, "I'm buying that woman a drink." The bartender says, "You don't want to do that. She's a lesbian." The man says, "I don't care, give the drink." After the woman gets the drink, she raises the glass to her benefactor. The man strolls over to her. He says, "Hi. I'm Bill Williams from Terre Haute. So how are things in Beirut?" What do you call a Bohemian that gets thrown out of a bar? A bounced Czech Duck walks into a bar. Says to the bar tender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't sell peanuts." The duck leaves. Next day, duck walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts." Bar tender replies, "I already told you I don't sell peanuts!" The duck leaves. Next day, the duck walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts!" Bar tender yells back, "I told you, I don't sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I'll nail you to the wall!" So the duck leaves. Next day, the duck walks into the bar, "Do you have any nails?" Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't have nails." Duck asks, "Do you have any peanuts?" Happy Now!

So you would be quite happy to be refused service from your privately owned local shop?Supermarket?Barbers?Doctors?Dentist!where do we stop.I am the owner GO AWAY!

Everyone is entitled to an opinion,thats what so good about this forum just because you may not agree with the responses does'nt turn people into moaning and bitching opinionites!Seems like you've had a bit of a rant here! To get back to the OP this chap walks into a public house wanting a pint and is told he can't have one,not done anything wrong!why is that and is it right? ---------- Post added 16-10-2013 at 22:48 ---------- Sorry mate only to regulars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.............................:hihi:

I think that when you went in the sheaf in your younger years it was frequented by people from the fraser council estate and the few private houses going up fraser rd.toward woodseats and the clientele over the years have not changed much. Since the periwood estate has been built you have a different class of customer with a more defining taste,it could be that the owner has picked up on this and is sorting 'the wheat from the chaffe'so to speak.....................................................what do you think?

I assure you I make my own decisions and it is that I DONT want to go in the ale house! 3.I dont go in,but there are enough ex-regulars that come in laycocks now that keep me in the know as to what is going on. If you want your pub to open at the same time as your butchers or your grocers I would find a job in the daytime if I were you! As i understand it the owner does'nt run the pub to make a living its just a pastime his comments when first installed as landlord I believe were if it does'nt work as a pub he will convert it into flats!

You seem to comment on just about every pub that is due to open or has recently opened on this forum so I credit you with some knowledge of what you are talking about. Do I take it then that the 'stuff that does not taste good'is only found in the run of the mill pubs,funny 'cause I brewed my own beer and wine for years and it could differ in taste at every brew dependant on quality of mash,yeast,temperature amount of time left on the lees etc.every pub can have beers differing in taste as to how the landlord looks after it CONSISTENTLY.Some of the best beers I have tasted if kept well have been,Wards,Magnet,Mansfield,and an example of a bad brew could also be wards 'cos you knew about it if you got a bad pint of that!.......................................Real Ale I believe is just a label,fashionable,snobbish for no sound reason. You add that FMI some of the regulars also frequent Laycocks Club yes they do even more so now that they have been barred from the ale house for questionable reasons! ---------- Post added 16-10-2013 at 00:06 ---------- Dear Me!I have not been in the ale house since this guy took it over I have listened to reports of how he has barred people for swearing and being loud on singular and generally acceptable conditions but not his,why would I want to have a night out with friends looking over my shoulder.Yes you may now be an acceptable regular your last comment sums it all up 'he owns it and can do what he wants'and So Can I! ---------- Post added 16-10-2013 at 00:30 ---------- 1.Whats that supposed to mean he's open every day only when he's not! 2.Regulars with membership cards IN A PUB? 3.Sorry but NOT many of the previous regulars still go in! 4.You should find that above the door as you enter the premises a sign usually a brass plaque stating that this PUBLIC HOUSE is licensed by whoever blah.......blah.Tonight when your stood outside 'cos he's not open.Read it! Something you may be interested in,as a regular,is the fact that he's thinking about (when he's not too tired to open)is to open at 4.00 and shut at 7.00 or 9.00 in the evening............................................Just because he can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Periwood Part. ---------- Post added 15-10-2013 at 18:40 ---------- This really is the whole point of this thread.Is the owner of the ale house within his rights as a public servant to withdraw this service to the public and change the conditions of a public house,effectively turning it into a private club through the use of membership cards.!

So is this what 'The Mash' all boils down to (real ale pun)what it seems your after is segregation one pub for 'them' and ours for 'us'at least we know where the line is drawn. PS. are you the landlord of the 'Ale House' ---------- Post added 14-10-2013 at 23:26 ---------- Don't really want to diss you as you are an owls fan, but your comments regarding 'any old scroat'could be interpreted,because you live in the pretty plush estate adjacent to the ale house it seems you want to keep the common folk out or 'In their Place M'lard'

Only reason he doesn't have one in the week is because he's not open.The man is a law unto himself.I seem to recall you recommended this pub before it had even opened,jemson!Some of the comments on this thread really do uphold the theory that the majority of 'real ale drinkers'are really beer snobs! ---------- Post added 14-10-2013 at 11:32 ---------- Laycocks sports club is a private club,not a working mens club thanks!

yes it did,was run by the brewery.The one or two people that took it over couldn't make a go of it high rents/lack of customers etc. Shut down and sold off couple of years ago the guy thats got it now re-opened it as a real ale pub initially got some good reports decent ale etc.Then the guy started imposing his will on the place if he desn't like your face its a quick goodbye:help: Turned it from a real ale pub into a real...ly not open to the public pub:gag: ---------- Post added 11-10-2013 at 09:10 ---------- Just thinking about the legalities and implications of issuing membership cards to get service in what is licensed as a public house.Does it not contravene his license by turning his pub into a private club are they not covered by different laws?

The owner which is who he is,is running his own little world,which is his pub unfortunately,his attitude is if you don't like it go away 'cos I don't need you. He has issued membership cards to his 'regulars' who he lets in usually thr'o the backdoor on saturdays to keep 'undesirables' out it really is a closed shop!

I havnt been in the abbey since a certain Mr jackson left it. As for laycocks club all the politics on this forum was for a purpose it gave the members a platform to fight against certain policies which were being carried out in the name of the committee.Since the AGM in may these problems have now been sorted.I have been going in there for quite a long time and used to work at laycocks.It is without doubt the best social club in the area. ---------- Post added 06-08-2013 at 17:18 ---------- To the guy who posted about there being a popular Quiz on wednesday in the ale house. There may be but the unanswerable question is who let this joker buy our pub?

Agreed...............if you get to finish a pint before YA BARRED! Oh! and one tip if there's more than one of you don't try and get in wearing football shirts...............................he's terrified of football fans.

Can't believe that you think that,you obviously don't frequent the place or talk to people that have. It's run by a dictator,for example,a notice went up not long ago in the bar that regulars only would be admitted on saturday night,this to keep people out from the club down the road.No swearing or loudness is allowed,quite a few people have been barred at the drop of a hat! The landlord runs the place as a hobby,opens it when he feels like it and lets the few 'regulars in through the back door others are kept out. Forget it,plenty of better places to socialise.

Is this the i'll get a plug in at any cost post?

Yes I do along with quite a few others.worked there for about 8 years:help:

I knew ray morgan down at shortferry when he and his missus lived on a canal barge moored on the barlings at the side of the tyrwhit(funny spelling) arms pub.He was a good character always up for a game of pool(not the best player in the world) and showing off his feats of strength to the young un's.Lots of people from sheffield knew him because of his notoriety in the gangland! I'm sure i saw him in last time i was down there august/september this year god rest him if it's true.

I've been moulded by poverty,having three kids and carlsberg brewery marvelous what liposuction can do eh!

I think people nowadays to a certain extent want people to carry them about its not the roll up your sleeves and get stuck in attitude,it's the I'll just sit here and let things come to me. I've been made redundant twice in my working life with young children,and a mortgage,the benefits would cover the interest on the mortgage and the building society suspended payment till my situation changed for the better. Meanwhile I chased every job I could no matter what even took a part time job labouring in a factory after 9 months managed to procure full time employment before being made redundant again after 23 years in the job and having to do the whole thing again at the age of 52,never pleaded for and never got charity as they say 'Man up'.

Saying,old but true, 'Lifes s**t then you die' true in so many ways. Some years ago 'the Thatcher years' i was made redundant,at the same time my water heater chose to pack in so I put a claim in to the benefits dept.they then sent someone round to assess my claim,a lovely lady who apparently understood my situation agreed with everything that was said shook hands and left.Letter arrived a few days later saying that because we had a cooker and saucepans we had the means to heat water,we had two children under five at the time and we were expected to carry hot water up the stairs and fill the bath would they do the same thing today with the 'Health and safety'laws as they are?

My memories of Laycock Eng.are from Sept.'67 to early 1977 when I started as an apprentice with the likes of Terry Dawes,Trev Kitson.and Steve Butcher.These were the best years of my working life,we spent the first year in the training centre being taught by amongst others Jack Skelsey and the infamous 'Two Thou'Ted Hall.It was as apprentices that we found a box containing old football shirts in the stores and listening to it's history that we decided to try and reform the football team,this developed into us putting together a 'cracking side'which won promotion in the works leagues just about every year.Team from,Dick Lamb,Frank Glover,Steve Wilcox(God Bless),John Collins,Brian Ferris,Georgie Brumpton,John Ludlam,Ron Scaife,Barry Warburton,Chris Hobson,Steve Butcher,Roger Wilkinson,Mick Atkin under the guidance of Billy Haythorne and Ron Ward.Other people that influenced my working and social life at laycocks were Paul Britton,John Cawthorne,Sid Wright,my old Quality foreman,Ray Morris-Manager,along with Ray Wragg-Works Manager.But my best memories are of the social evenings with Roger Wilkinson,Kenny Hewitt(God Bless)and Paul Britton,Barry Warburton OOH! and Dick Lamb(mad as a hatter!).Some of the football social events.............George Best would never have survived and the 'special Presidents Evenings' OOOOH LA LAAAAH!

Believe it or not I never got to taste any of the pasty!the first thing I did was to settle down and make a chip buttie,I was eating that when I smelled the fire in the kitchen from there all hell broke loose,bad advice I know,but I fought the fire myself and had just put it out when the fire brigade arrived.I was taken to hospital with smoke inhalation,tea got left on table and other half of pasty was thrown away with the fridge. Not let near cooker since.................every cloud as they say!

This is my pasty story..........3 years ago(November)visited chatsworth farm shop one saturday morning bought a few goodies including a cornish pasty for about £4 50p(cheap eh!)looking forward to having it for tea.Got home after watching Ipswich V owls on TV at local club,co's of cost puts half of pasty and some beans in microwave puts chips in chip pan,when chips are done lifts out of fat and leaves to drain resting on side of pan,ping goes the microwave,gets half pasty and beans and tips chips onto plate picks up bread an' butter heads into room to enjoy in front of TV.10 minutes later,thought something smells funny.............opens door to find kitchen well alight i'd only gone and left chip pan on...............ended up costing £10,000 that pasty!

In general I would say shoes last about a foot Long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I want news and information I read a newspaper,topics 'that matter' generally involve people responsible and the names of said people if you try and discuss any topic on SF naming names then it is 99% certain it will be pulled by the MODS.