I've Got Santa's Naughty/Nice List!!

[DaFoot 10]

Name-Dafoot Verdict: Nice

Hurrah...surely worth a

[shoeshine 10]

So then, Soothsayer, how do you read me, super_pie........

 

I can take it. I'm 'ard, well capable, supremely confident of my inward (hidden) virtues.....

 

I hope I am naughty...not nice!

[candystick 10]

Hope i'm on the nice list, i can't remember being naughty this year.

[super_pie 10]

Okay, lets get back to the task in hand. Lets see, charlie9863, charlie9864, okay here we are charlie9865....

 

Name- charlie9865 Verdict: Nice

Reason: Charlie9865 was recently asked by his publishers to rewrite the dictionary for a new generation. Kids found the old dictionary boring and dull and charlie9865 had an idea to completely change the plot, add a few steamy sex scenes, a jive talking robot*, and a big twist at the end (Santa doesn't want to give anything away, but wait till you get to the letter Z and the revelation about the Zebras). Publishers expect Diction-MAX-Anary to be the big seller the xmas.

Suggested Present: The letter h, j and the number 12

 

*for any wannabe writers, here's a tip, always include a jive talking robot

[super_pie 10]

Name- shoeshine Verdict: Naughty

Reason: Shoeshine had an amazing year. He had been playing the video arcade game “Starfighter” at his local Trailer park for some time. Little did he realize that getting the top score would result in him being called up by the actual “Star League” and asked to defend the planet Rylos by the evil force called the Ko-Dan Armada. Sadly shoeshine had been using a cheat code on the game (left, left, right, a, b, start, in case anybody wants it), which gave him unlimited lives. This meant he was useless in battle and over 7 billion lives were lost on planet Rylos. Santa’s not happy...

Suggested Present: A copy of the film ‘Labyrinth’, so Super_Pie can do a parody of that next year as well, cause he knows that even better than the ‘Last Starfighter’

[super_pie 10]

Name- candystick Verdict: Naughty

Last year candystick was unlucky to have been bitten by a werewolf. Santa overlooked this and still put a tick in the Nice category. However this year candystick has just been careless. Already a werewolf, candystick stupidly let herself be bitten by a vampire, becoming a werewolf-vampire. A few months latter walking home through an abandoned cemetery, she happened across a zombie, and again got bit. Becoming a werewolf-vampire-zombie. For most this would be more than enough. But after suddenly dying of unexplained causes; she became a werewolf-vampire-zombie-ghost. She currently haunts most of Sheffield in a permanent state of identity crisis

Suggested Present: A silver, garlic covered cross to the brain, and a good exorcist

[kittenta 10]

Name- kittenta Verdict: Naughty

Reason: Kittenta has a deep deep hatred of people from the French city of Nice. She is always saying that they are naughty (but Nice). There is no good reason for this attitude, as the people from this charming city are both pleasant, charming and proud of there cities long history dating back to 5th century BC. She also refuses to believe in Eskimos.

Suggested Present: La Lump De Cole

 

I like being naughty

[scoop 10]

This has to be the funniest thread ever! Someone has too much time on their hands, but I'm not objecting....gwaarn, I wanna know which list I'm on! (my husband says naughty)

 

My husband wants me to be on the naughty list, but I think I might be on the nice list.

[super_pie 10]

I’ve had the press on my back the last day or so. Apparently after reading this thread, a lot of the tabloid editors want a copy of Santa’s full “N/N” list to publish in their newspapers. I’ve given a firm and unequivocal no each time; I believe the good, honest, nice people of the internet deserve first look. I also guess the Sheffield Forum deserves a quick peek aswell…..

 

Which leads me to………..

 

Name-Scoop Verdict: Naughty

Reason: Scoop's watercolour artwork has remained pretty amateurish this year. Despite reading many books and attending a local college course. Her use of form and composition is weak and unfocused. Any kind of symbolism in her picture “Man on Unicycle in a Pond Surrounded by Fear” is lost on me. I also have to admit it is rather irritating that she has to play the theme music to “Vision On" whenever anybody views her artwork. When asked what her favourite style of painting is, replying with “Kittens in a Basket’ism” is generally looked down upon by most art scholars. However her use of DJ2’s new colours smertly and griorg in her art is to be commended.

 

Suggested present:A paint-by-numbers picture featuring a lump of coal.

[sTaGeWaLkEr 10]

'Super-pie' me then big boy!

 

[cressida 1,585]

looking at your photo on here, are you trying to hit Santa with your rhythm stick?

[super_pie 10]

looking at your photo on here, are you trying to hit Santa with your rhythm stick?

I think it was proved some time ago (a referendum or something along that line), that you can never have too much cowbell

 

 

But let us not forget why we're really here....

 

Name-sTaGeWaLkEr Verdict: Naughty

Santa says it has been yet another year of hunting the Road Runner for sTaGeWaLkEr . This has resulted in numerous trips to the hospital, as a boulder tends to land on top of him on average around six times a week. sTaGeWaLkEr (Latin Name: Evereadii Eatibus) has been chasing the roadrunner (Latin name: Velocitus Incalculus ) around Sheffield for so many years he has almost lost count. sTaGeWaLkEr often comes up with what seem like great ideas at the time, but are often woefully short-sighted when it comes a basic understanding of gravity. Some of his recent attempts have been to paint a tunnel on the side of cliff, only to have the roadrunner run straight through, sadly when sTaGeWaLkEr tried he went smack into the rock. A recent boulder catapult device, rocketpowered jetpack and dynamite covered bird seed have all badly backfired (often resulting in being crushed or having his face blown off many many times). sTaGeWaLkEr is also always buying equipment from “Jeff Acmes DIY Store” which is just off London road. There have been many people who have remarked how shoddy this equipment is, but for some reason stagewalker persists. His recent purchase of a ‘Acme Giant Rubber Band’, and ‘Acme Jet-propelled Roller Skates’ have recently been highlighted on the TV show “Watchdog” as faulty products, so we all fear the worst.

Suggested Present: A tiny little umbrella he can hold above his head, just before the expected boulder crushes him.