Men and women : why relationships can generate so many arguments.

[bethanywalke 10]

 

If you do find yourself being out witted on every level by the OH and have nowhere else to turn then graciously admit defeat and agree to let it drop....

 

See I think that's where our problem lies, I never admit defeat, admit I'm wrong or let it drop :hihi::hihi:

[Justin Smith 10]

See I think that's where our problem lies, I never admit defeat, admit I'm wrong or let it drop :hihi::hihi:

 

Many conversations with my male friends indicates that this is common with the fairer sex....... Round and round and round we go........

[hyper 10]

Do you agree with this or not ? If not why not ?

 

In a relationship, the biggest cause of arguments are breakdowns in communication. And the most significant factor in that, and prolonging any arguments, is that, generally speaking, women tend to focus on feelings over facts, whereas men tend to focus on facts over feelings.

 

Obviously these are generalisations (and I`m not saying either emphasis is right or wrong) but probably true for most relationships ?

a breakdown in communications is not the cause of an argument, but is usually the cause of a failure in the wider relationship. This is mainly due to the fact that 2 individual minds fester thoughts that then only come out at a later heated exchange.

[WasThatWise 10]

If women stopped asking questions to which there are two possible answers both of which are wrong and accept that a mans refusal to answer in case he incriminates himself is not an admission of guilt then a lot of the arguments would not happen.

[GLASGOWOODS 10]

two signs my missus knows I'm not a happy chappie.

 

1/ I go very quiet.

2/ I keep my pants on in bed.

[Justin Smith 10]

I disagree it's all about breakdown in communication that causes arguments, take it a step further back and think about why there was a breakdown in communication in the first place. Facts and feelings are all part of the issue, but they always are and it's something we deal with every day - that shouldn't mean we argue every day.

 

I think the bigger cause is a lack of willingness to compromise these days. The arguments occur because neither side is willing to back down from their point of view, for the sake of the relationship.

I have many a time backed down and apologised to my other half in spite of really believing I am right and an apology isn't needed. I know she does this sometimes too.

 

I guess the question is, how valuable is the relationship in the first place? Worth arguing your facts/feelings everytime or better to forget and get on with life.

 

This is an admirable and very effective action, if one has the self discipline (and selflessness) to carry it out. The problem is if it`s only done from one side of the relationship. I was once in a relationship with a woman who very easily said sorry for stuff which didn`t actually matter (like if she accidentally stood on my toe or dropped a cup on the floor) but almost never during/after any fall out. If I had then started apologising for arguments for which I "knew" I was in the right (plus the others which I thought I was more to blame ! ) she`d have been even more sure she was always in the right......