Making the decision not to have children, ever.

[[Matt] 10]

Anyone else in this boat?

My boat sailed long ago...

 

Too many people on this planet as is. If i do settle down it will be adoption only for me...

[Waldo 96]

:help:

 

I'm trying to avoid that debate. I think everyone should do what they personally want.

 

 

Although I have to confess I do slightly agree with the poster who mentioned potential parents being assessed.

 

Not in the way of an external body doing it, but more in the way of couples or individuals having a good hard think about "Would I be able to bring up a kid in a stable environment?" (not necessarily anything to do with money) rather than just thinking "Oh, I fancy a child so I'd have one."

 

Absolutely it's a VERY serious matter and people need to be responsible and give it a LOT of serious thought ..

 

How stable and robust, mentally and emotionally are you?

How financially 'secure' and able to provide are you?

Is my woman a hottie, or will I get bored of her?

Are there too many people in the world already?

Etc etc..

 

.. rather than just blindly following your bodies biological agenda and then hoping for the best.

[shoeshine 10]

How sad it makes me to read this thread.

 

It's full of "Me first! Me first! Me first!" posters

 

I am not planning to in the foreseeable future, possibly ever.

 

This is because (in order of importance)

 

a) Career focused and generally loner

 

b) World is overpopulated

 

c) Don't like children much

 

Might change my mind one day though.

 

Your mum will be pleased to read your post .... NOT!

[donkey 10]

Having children is a purely selfish decision. I fully believe people who want to breed should have to go through a thorough vetting process taking in to account financial situation etc.

 

So, you think overpopulation should be controlled by voluntary abstinence from procreation, and that those who have not understood the telepathic message that this is what they are supposed to be doing - and subsequently continue to obey their mamalian urges to pass on their genes - are being selfish?

 

Many populations - including our own - would actually be in decline if it were not for migration. If people in the UK stopped having babies entirely, our gene pool would merely be superceded by others.

 

There is a direct link between poverty/poor education, and high birth rates. If a global strategy for controlling population levels is ever developed, these are the kind of factors which will have to be considered.

[Grandad.Malky 11]

How sad it makes me to read this thread.

 

It's full of "Me first! Me first! Me first!" posters

 

 

 

Your mum will be pleased to read your post .... NOT!

 

Well said, at least I am not on my own.

[EdnaKrabappe 14]

How sad it makes me to read this thread.

 

It's full of "Me first! Me first! Me first!" posters

 

 

 

Your mum will be pleased to read your post .... NOT!

 

Shoeshine, to be fair, why should Crayfish not put himself first? I think he's being quite honest.

 

A lot of people have children without any thought that they are responsible for them for the next eighteen years plus! If he doesn't like children, surely it's better that that he doesn't have any! Too many people have the , "Oh i won a buggy in a raffle so I thought why not?" attitude to children.

 

I think the only crime is that he's not passing on his looks! LOL!

 

Surely his mum would rather be reading that she's got a brilliant son that will benefit mankind as a whole than reading that he'd got some young lass up the duff!

[shoeshine 10]

Shoeshine, to be fair, why should Crayfish not put himself first? I think he's being quite honest.

 

A lot of people have children without any thought that they are responsible for them for the next eighteen years plus! If he doesn't like children, surely it's better that that he doesn't have any! Too many people have the , "Oh i won a buggy in a raffle so I thought why not?" attitude to children.

 

I think the only crime is that he's not passing on his looks! LOL!

 

Surely his mum would rather be reading that she's got a brilliant son that will benefit mankind as a whole than reading that he'd got some young lass up the duff!

 

I'm not referring to feckless people who "sprog" at will for Social Benefits, etc.

 

Any good, loving parents take a lifelong interest in their children's welfare, happiness and successes or "failures" way beyond the age of 18 ......

 

I'm sure true parents wouldn't care less whether their offspring are future Einstein's or just "bog-standard" average human beings, whatever their faults/weaknesses/achievements" may be. Their real love and care for them is there, whatever happens.

 

There is more to living a full life than Certificates on the wall, or a notch on the bedpost!

 

Similarly, for those who have posted on here not wanting to have children for "Green" credentials, or to "Save the World" and have a good time without responsibility to those of the opposite sex .....

 

... I'd say " shame on you!", and pity the poor, trusting members of the opposite sex who have the misfortune to fall into their company.

 

OK! Call me "old-fashioned". I don't care!

[I1L2T3 10]

I have two kids and becoming a dad is the greatest thing that has happened in my life. But not having kids is a personal choice I respect.

 

This has made me think about my mum who was in a very serious relationship into her 20s, basically with the love of her life. He used to cycle (yes cycle) a 160 miles roundtrip from Chester to Holmfirth to see her. They were going to get married but he was adamant that he didn't want kids. My mum desperately wanted them. The relationship couldn't go on and it badly effected my mum and she spent several years with serious depression. She eventually met me dad, got married and had three kids. The bloke she never married eventually married somebody else but he never had kids. The decision was the right one for him and in a way for my mum too. As much as she loved him she couldn't stay with him because his decision was so strong and it wasn't what she wanted.

 

By a freak of fate years later he ended up living round the corner from us. It was all a bit weird when my mum and him used to bump into each other and we were with her.

[Andy78 10]

I'm not planning on having children as I don't have a womb.

 

I also think there's far too many kids who are parentless. So, I would consider adopting in the future, if that were possible.

 

Although this is not a concern at the moment, I do worry that by the time I'm 50 odd, I'll feel that something is missing in my life. At that point I might just disappear travelling to look for some alternative life satisfaction, to prevent me from growing old miserably.

[epiphany 10]

Like it or not, the world IS over populated (or at least it isn't getting any less populated!) and those who don't have kids are, by default, not contributing to that. Indeed, it matters not whether the child goes on to become a genius or a bin man (who, might I add, are geniuses in their own right), they will be using their share of finite resources and it's an awkward reality we have to face.

 

I'm not saying people should feel guilty for having children, but it is another point on that huge list of things to consider when having children.

[Waldo 96]

Similarly, for those who have posted on here not wanting to have children for "Green" credentials, or to "Save the World" and have a good time without responsibility to those of the opposite sex .....

 

... I'd say " shame on you!", and pity the poor, trusting members of the opposite sex who have the misfortune to fall into their company.

 

That just doesn't make sense; maybe I'm missing something?

 

... but I would have thought 2 consenting adults having a 'good time' (quite happy not bringing new life in to the world etc), doesn't mean they're being irresponsible or bringing any kind of misfortune to those they're having the good time with.

[Waldo 96]

Like it or not, the world IS over populated (or at least it isn't getting any less populated!) and those who don't have kids are, by default, not contributing to that. Indeed, it matters not whether the child goes on to become a genius or a bin man (who, might I add, are geniuses in their own right), they will be using their share of finite resources and it's an awkward reality we have to face.

 

I'm not saying people should feel guilty for having children, but it is another point on that huge list of things to consider when having children.

 

Spot on. But lets face it, most people don't consider the wider implications, they just want what they want, and sod everything and everyone else.