Remember Birley School?

[zakes 68]

Please God, Please love them.

 

Zakes had a feeling this day was going to be bitter sweet, and he felt it was going to be a day that he would never ever forget for as long as he lived. As it was the time of year when the mornings became markedly cooler Zakes had requested from his mum a bowl of Scotts porridge oats for breakie. Whilst scoffing and slurping his morning meal Zakes’ two year old sister was tottering about in the kitchen and tripped over her brother’s shiny school satchel, and careered helplessly headlong to stick the nut on the pine wood formica dining table. Zakes’ first thought was that the school football team needed a centre forward who would be prepared to put his head in where it hurt like his sister did. After some minutes of screaming and bawling the little brat eventually shut her cake hoil up when Mum Zakes smeared a knob of butter on her bruised bonce. Zakes then picked up his cereal bowl with both hands and started to lick it clean to help his mum save on the washing up. A short while later Zakes kissed the left chubby cheek of his little sister, said toodle-oo to her and his mum then left for skosh.

 

At the junction of Newstead Close and Newstead Avenue Zakes espied the mellifluent minx that was Thelma Larkspur. The hip swinging Thelma was also on her way to school but unfortunately for Zakes she attended Frecheville School. Zakes felt sure that his two pals of the season at Frechy School, Geoff Booth and Keith Wilcock would deal with Thelma in the way he had taught them, then all three would be happy.

Striding his way up the right side of Birley Moor Avenue Zakes noticed 57 yards further up the road the blonde Julie Hirst, who was in his class at Birley School. Picking up pace, Zakes got to within 10 yards of her and studied how her short grey skirt tantalizingly swayed to and fro and back and forth with every step she took. Julie possessed a delightful derriere and had several most effeminate creases behind each knee.

Now nearing the top of the road the zealous Zakes caught up with Juicy Julie, and was just about to invite her to allow him to use his tongue to pick out any bits left over from her breakfast cereal from between her teeth, when he heard someone calling his name. The frustrated Zakes glanced over the junction to Thornbridge Road to see three more of his class pals waving and smiling. The red cheeked diminutive Mick Payne, the easy going Margaret Winkley who both lived on that road, along with the blond haired John Wastnidge who lived on Birley Moor Drive were also trudging schoolwards. ‘Why the bleeding hell did they after turn up’, thought Zakes, now he’ll after try to corner Miss Hirst later with his request as to him becoming her own personal toothbrush.

 

At 9.15 the whole school was in assembly and were loudly singing the hymn ‘Hills of the North Rejoice’. The word ‘hills’ was enough for Zakes to start piking at the crisp white blouses at chest height of classmates, Sandra Wallis, Lynn Stacey, Lesley Whiteley, Lynne Womek and the soon to be dentally checked Julie Hirst. These 5 girls were not necessarily more advanced in mind, but were definitely more advanced in body than the rest of the skinny spotty virgin socked ingénues in class. Sandra lived on Newstead Drive, Lynn lived at Jermyn Crescent, Lesley dwelt at Weakland Drive, Lynne lived on Thornbridge Drive, and Julie lived in Birley Moor Crescent opposite David Siddall who was an angular red haired lad also in Zakes’ class at school.

It was good to know the addresses of these bounteous birds in case Zakes was ever invited at any time for a bout of rumpy pumpy.

 

The day at school went smoothly for the teachers because Zakes wasn’t in the mood to cause any agitation to them, but would give them double helpings next time. The only incident of note was just after school was done for the day when word got around that there was going to be a feight. Bob Ward was going to be scrapping with some non-descript kid from school. Bob was a nice lad but had two ‘blemishes’, he had an overfed fat gut plus a chipped tooth in front of his gob at the top. The battle took place outside Bob’s house which was the second one on the left on Thornbridge Place. The fisticuffs lasted no more than two minutes when Bob decided to live to fight another day when he ran off and sought refuge in his nearby house. No blood! What a let down.

 

Zakes arrived at home shortly before five o’clock. His cowbag of a mother always insisted tea would be served at five and if anybody arrived late they would get nothing, not even warmed up later. Having entered the kitchen, the first thing Zakes noticed was his little sister sat contentedly on the floor playing with her one legged rubber dolly. She (the sister, not the dolly) had her head swaddled in vinegar and brown paper, and Zakes now knew for sure that she would one day become a centre forward at Wolverhampton Wanderers. Turning to the head battered dining table, Zakes observed his two elder brothers sat with downcast eyes, and their faces looking as white as newly washed bed sheets. Zakes seated himself and within moments the evening meal was dished up by his mardy mater. Todays tea was mashed potatoes mashed together with mashed turnip, there was also on the plate light green coloured cabbage on one side, and on the other side was a scrawny lean piece of belly pork. As the household Zakes didn’t have ketchup Zakes made do with a splodge of ‘Wilsons Gravy’. Zakes found the roaring silence to be deafening and asked his mother and brothers “S’up wi’your lot?” His mother piped up,”Shurrup, and get thi’ tea eaten”. After polishing off their food the brothers left the table by not taking it with them , for which Zakes was very grateful. Looking at Zakes, Mum Zakes barked,”Ant tha’ finished yet, ah wonna gerron wi’ weshin’ up?” Zakes finished.

 

Joining his two elder ashen faced brothers in the living room, Zakes asked them what were up wi’ ‘em, they were still silent. Sitting on the arm of the family’s flea bitten purple settee Zakes tuned in to what his brothers were wetching on the telly. On the screen Zakes saw men digging with spades and some with shovels, and most with their bare hands, and all had a look of anguish upon their faces. Listening to the voice of the reporter, Zakes within seconds also became white as if he had seen a ghost. Another three minutes was all Zakes could put up with and he proceeded to quickly leave the room. Zakes zipped upstairs faster than the speed of light then entered his bedroom slamming the door behind him.

Tearing off his clothes then donning his pyjamas Zakes sprang in to his bed and covered himself with the cold sheet and the slightly warmer blankets. Endless amounts of tears were streaming down his 12 years old face as the scenes he had seen on the television went through his mind again and again and again. Zakes bravely tried to console himself with the thought that he and his most wonderful school friends would be safe tonight, then he uncontrollably sobbed ‘til he fell into a deep sleep…

 

Friday 21 October 1966 – 9.15a.m.

 

116 children aged 7-10 and

 

28 adults including 5 teachers perished in the

 

Aberfan Disaster in South Wales.

 

Look after them, God.

[RichinR'mond 10]

As a 'non-attendee' at the School my excellent memories are of both Birley and Frecheville Youth Clubs that were very 'simple' but the 'tops' with Don ----- at Birley and good old Ben Walker at Frecheville in the Nissan Hut(ex-war time Fire Station) on Birley Moor Rd bang opposite Dexel Tyres - prior to the new one being built top of Fox Lane.

[gregconn 10]

As a 'non-attendee' at the School my excellent memories are of both Birley and Frecheville Youth Clubs that were very 'simple' but the 'tops' with Don ----- at Birley and good old Ben Walker at Frecheville in the Nissan Hut(ex-war time Fire Station) on Birley Moor Rd bang opposite Dexel Tyres - prior to the new one being built top of Fox Lane.

 

I agree with you I went to both Birley & Frechville YC must have been around 1958 to 1962 period. Ben Walker was a great YC leader I most remember his organised Rock cliimbing Sunday's out at Stanage Edge. I also represented the club at table tennis but between both clubs not forgetting Hackenthorpe YC at CarterKnowle school we youngsters could be entertained for at least 5 nights a week. Great days.

[RichinR'mond 10]

Hackenthorpe Y.C. also Yeh ! I agree - although my memories of it are always tinged with sadness - as we were there the night news broke of the Man. Utd. Munich air disaster - such tragedies that are unfortunately always printed firmly in our memory - where we were when a notable event took place - as with the Aberfan disaster mentioned earlier.

 

Youth Clubs 5 nights a week !! - good job we filled the other 2 up by starting the 'ROCK CLUB' at Frecheville Community Centre - every Tues. & Sat. - young 'uns these days don't know what they missed !! Rich.

[gregconn 10]

Reading through the many treads on the Sheffield Forum I get the impression that so many of the contributors have very fond memories of those days back in the 50' & 60's and many seem content with their lot. What was it we got from those days, at Birley Secondary School I believe I had a good practical education, I never went to University started an apprenticeship in August 1959 and never had a day out of work up to retiement in 2003. I believe all these things happened because of something we gained from those days long ago. Anyone out there know what it was?

[Chris412 10]

Reading through the many treads on the Sheffield Forum I get the impression that so many of the contributors have very fond memories of those days back in the 50' & 60's and many seem content with their lot. What was it we got from those days, at Birley Secondary School I believe I had a good practical education, I never went to University started an apprenticeship in August 1959 and never had a day out of work up to retiement in 2003. I believe all these things happened because of something we gained from those days long ago. Anyone out there know what it was?

 

Respect . Trust . Common sense . And no do-gooders butting in all the time

[zakes 68]

Cachinnate.

 

Zakes knew that life is but a passing dream. He also knew that sometimes his world was turning the wrong way around, and his world was often so upside down. Zakes being a real realist also knew in reality that the world was flat, and he should know because he had fallen off the edge enough times during his mundane childhood. Birdswise Zakes needed to be released from his terrid torment to put his mind at ease. Manking in the mandrakes and magnolias and occasionally being gammed off by some spotty ferret faced fizgig from the locality wasn’t enough for the fast growing Zakes, who had needs.

 

Zakes had been awoken by a loud quarrelsome quarrel downstairs between his parents, but it had turned out to be only a tempest in a teapot. His mum had said Dad Zakes was lazy, and his dad had said Mum Zakes was bossy. They were both right and together they had hit the brad on the bonce, thought Zakes.

After eating his breakfast of poached eggs on cream crackers, Zakes busily busied himself bringing up to date his league ladders which had been given free in the past week’s Valiant comic. Being an unneutral lad Zakes had placed his beloved Wolves inside the top rung with Spurs in second place. Mum Zakes was also busily busying herself by ironing her sunny son’s white school for him, and he was hoping she wouldn’t get his plastic shirt collar tabs twisted like she did last week.

It was important to Zakes that he looked just right because a tidy appearance means a tidy mind, and that would impress Lynn Stacey and Zakes’ other admirers in class, Zakes dreamt. Having cherry blossom polished his shoes and satchel Zakes set off to skoil. It had stopped laggin’ it down and the sun was now smiling down upon the world. Also in the blue skies Zakes observed a wide multi coloured crescent reaching over to the far away horizon.

At the untraffic lighted junction of Birley Moor Avenue and Thornbridge Road, Zakes could hardly believe his eyes when he saw the local Aunt Sally stood stock still on the pavement unstrapping his wristwatch then throwing it to the ground, and then starting to violently stamp upon it. With eyebrows raised Zakes demandingly asked Hotpot what the bleeding hell he was doing, and Hotpot with wide face looking as ugly as ever replied that he was just killing time. Moments later Hotpot picked up his squeshed to bits timepiece then hurled it into the air and began to wildly cachinnate. Zakes didn’t have to ask what that was all about because he already knew the answer… Tempus Fugit.

 

Aged 145 months, the cantomonius Zakes was now in the second year at Birley Secondary Modern School, which happened to be the best school in the Birley area. He found this school to be far better than his previous one which was Carter Lodge down at Hackenthorpe. He now had better class pals, especially the lasses who were seemingly ripening and slowly coming to fruition almost on a daily basis. The dinners were much nicer by a mile, and Zakes also enjoyed the fair sport of giving several of his teachers the run around. The thought of tormenting the life out of Messrs. Lines, Fidler, Knox, Shimwell and Phipps made it so easy for Zakes to jump out of his pit in the mornings, Monday ‘til Friday. After a few years of physical and psychological terror from Mr Williams at Birley Spa Junior School, Zakes was now hardened, and wasn’t going to allow any of these five trusculating trunts make his life a “miserere mei, dues”, miser’s misery!

At the end of the mathematics lesson with Mr Knox, who wore a ginger red coloured ziff making him look like a sporonic sunburnt quim chin, the class piled out into the corridor but not in Indian file, to mingle with the hoards of other relieved children. During the confused durcheinander Zakes came face to face with a girl goddess two years higher than himself at school… KATHRYN IBBOTSON.

Kathryn Ibbotson was unbelievably gorgeous, and Zakes knew if he looked into her eyes for too long he would become entranced, then become her slave for forever and a day. Zakes diverted his gaze toward Kathryn’s long wonderful willowy neck and wished that he could be allowed to place his now quivering lips upon her shiny silky soft skin. Her eyes widened having read Zakes’ mind, then she pouted her most kissable lips , and radiated a radiant full smile to the jellified Zakes who was now prepared to blissfully serve her ‘til the day of his decease. Gracefully, Kathryn floated along the corridor leaving the drooling Zakes in her wake.

Zakes now knew his world was spinning the right way around, and totally smitten he could still see his goddess at the far end of the corridor. Zakes gathered the strength together to think of his third latin term of the day when he loud throatedly called after her……”Cocktus Erectus!”

[RichinR'mond 10]

Reading through the many treads on the Sheffield Forum I get the impression that so many of the contributors have very fond memories of those days back in the 50' & 60's and many seem content with their lot. What was it we got from those days, at Birley Secondary School I believe I had a good practical education, I never went to University started an apprenticeship in August 1959 and never had a day out of work up to retiement in 2003. I believe all these things happened because of something we gained from those days long ago. Anyone out there know what it was?

 

Not too sure myself Greg - but will ask Nigel P. tomorrow night when I see him as usual - quite a perceptive fella from your era I reckon !!! ? Rich.

[gregconn 10]

Did you ask Nigel P?, I am sure he would know at least some of the answers as he was as much of the good times as we all were. Give him my regards and say I still miss Eric B. as I am sure he does.

[RichinR'mond 10]

Had to mark Nigel P. absent I'm afraid !!! no sick note though ?- it'll save !

[zakes 68]

Just A Few Things.

 

Just a few things regarding my time of approx. two and a half years at Birley School. Some of you know who I am, and it would be good if you didn’t mention my name on here because I would then be tempted to do a Rumpelstiltskin, and we all know what happened to him.

 

I have always been an altruistic and passionate person, and at Birley School I cherished every single schoolmate in the short time I was there. I fell in love with the wonderful L M Stacey who meant a lot to me, although she didn’t know it. She had a heart of gold, and loads of humour along with a glowing personality. I lusted after some other girls, and Miss Moor too. Another girl who was two years older than me at Birley was Kathryn Ibbotson whom I believe lived on Thornbridge Avenue. I had a mad crush on Kathryn who’s actual first name was Elizabeth and Kathryn was her middle name (hope I’ve got this right). On a couple of occasions something happened to make me never forget her but I will spare her blushes by not expounding any further.

 

The sun though wasn’t always shining for me at Birley, there were some overcast times too. It is true that I thrived on responsibility but I rebelled against all forms of discipline, and remember the what seemed like endless canings, slipperings, lines and detentions. I also clearly recall the two court cases I faced during my time at Birley. One case is on this thread (our thread) and the other case is mentioned on the …Thornbridge Grammar School thread. 30.5.2008 by Limeybeans. My piece is post nr. 25. These 2 cases go with another court appearance from my Hackenthorpe days. 3 court cases and loads of canings makes me sound like a bad lad, but I wasn’t. I was just plain unlucky and the people who knew me could and would vouch for me.

Even though I had a gentle nature and a long fuse I did have my limits and got involved in one or two skirmishes at Birley, but nothing worth writing home about except for two incidents which stick in my mind.

 

1. During the woodwork lesson Mr Dickerson told us lads he would be back in five minutes. As soon as the door closed some of the lads started throwing bits of wood at each other. After about 2 minutes I was hit on the head by a heavy cube shaped block of wood. I was in pain and felt the back of my head and it was bleeding. I turned around and saw the culprit who was in hysterics. He saw my rage riddled face as I came towards him and he ran for refuge in the wood store room. I followed him in and started to give him the pasting of his life. My classmates couldn’t pull me off, nor could the paunchy Paul Underhand as I continued to pummel away. The day was thankfully saved when Mr Dickerson came back and intervened. I was sent to the head trunt Mr Lines and was duly and deservedly whacked by his cane thrice times.

Years later , I occasionally came across this lad in town and we would chat about our schooldays, but the ‘woodwork incident’ was never mentioned. I also detected he was wary of me, and that made me feel guilty. I still carry the guilt of my reaction with me today, 45 years later. Sorry pal.

 

2. This incident was at Birley pond next to Birley woods. This involved a lad from my year, another lad a year higher at our school and me. I was coming home having been in Ford to pick some bulrushes for me mum. As I was coming down the field towards Birley pond at the bottom I received a wave from the two lads and I waved back to them. When I reached the pond these two lads who I knew well, greeted me. They were laughing and were so full of themselves thinking they were so clever. I dropped the bulrushes and started to lace the younger one without mercy, and the elder one ran off knowing he was about to get the same treatment. I continued leathering the lad from my year and only stopped when he begged mercy.

Their crime? On the sunbaked edge of the pond lay several newts and frogs that the two lads had impaled with sticks. The sticks had been forced down the throats of these amphibians right through the body, and out at the rear end.

For my actions that day I don’t have a single regret!

 

Sometimes I took my school friends for granted which I did (and do) regret. When I left Birley School and moved to Hurlfield I was very saddened. It was a case of not knowing what you’ve got until it’s gone, and then it’s too late.

 

If any of you have any memories of your Birley days then please relate them. It doesn’t matter if you think they are not important. I am not asking for you to type up long stories, something short will suffice. I only have a few stories left to tell and that will be it unless I re-master the back catalogue with more detail. The photos I have put up on the ‘Zakes coming and going 1965 – 68’ post Part 1. I got some of the years and ages wrong, sorry. I will put some more on at a later date.

 

Your Zakes.

[gregconn 10]

Hello Zakes, I enjoy your ramblings of Birley School but I wonder what happened at Birley Secondary in those few years after I left. I walked in to Birley School on 6th September 1955, it was the first day that the school opened and I left in July 1959. The education I received in those 4 years served me well thoughout my working life, I learnt never be afraid of hard work, work together, help others all these things I believed and followed and I was never out of work for the 44 years of my working life. I started at Birley in Form 1e our form teacher was Mr Jenson (Art), other staff members were, Mr Tyson (Science), Miss Gaunt (Maths & English),Mr Hughes (Maths& History),Miss Rippeth (English), Mr Reay (Woodwork), Miss Sherratt (Music), Miss Singleton (Homecraft), Mr Burke (PE) & Mrs Hargreaves (PE). Not sure if any of these were still there in your days, Mr R A Davies was headmaster from that first day.

Remember the school motto: "Knowledge is a treasurer, practice the key to it." still an invaluable piece of advice today. Regards....gregconn