Am I just asking for too much to expect him to help with the chores?

[Weazel2006 28]

If i dare not do a chore i gather the motivation and take it off her hands entirely....he needs to practice the art of grownads.

Edited October 13, 2009 by Weazel2006

[horribleblob 214]

And you've put up with this for 7 years? Flippin' Nora! rach.

 

You are asking far too little of him and not enough of yourself. The question you should be really asking is ' What the hell am I doing with a man like this?

 

Too right.

[hodgepig66 10]

jesus it's 2009 not the 1950's. If you didn't work at all then i can understand you doing more of the house work but you both work then there is no excuse at all i'm afraid......why is it that it's automatically assumed women have to do it all, well i hate housework, i work full time, it's a partnership, he needs to get a grip and do his share. Looks like he's in a time warp,womans place in the kitchen etc etc what aload of twoddle. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

[Weazel2006 28]

My partner happily takes on the role of the 50's housewife....at her request .....that does not however mean that i don't do my fair share or do something as requested.

 

People can live how they see fit, the true test is working as a team.....some might have it so one works one does the housework, others have an equal share in the responsibility....it's whatever works for the couple.

 

As parents you need to be a team, and it seems the OP is doing all the work and then his.....he is a slouch and needs a big warning and for her to stick to her guns so the moment he relaxes again he gets a good kick in the arse.

[Bloomdido 10]

Hi Rach80. I am a bloke and I get really annoyed with blokes like your OH. Can I ask if it is affecting your physical relationship with him? I can imagine that there is a lot of resentment piling up from you. I would suggest that you get some counselling jointly so that you can tell him how you feel in a safe environment. You can't carry on as you are. Something has to change.

[Pscylo 10]

The reply to that is how do I know what needs doing .

 

And that's an entirely valid reason. If he hasn't been indoctrinated in the ways f the house, then he won't know what needs doing when. I never put a load of washing on, or iron, or hoover those aren't my jobs and I wouldn't know when they need doing (because I'm not looking for it), but I do get a meal ready every day, get the kids and the wife off to school, make packup, do the shopping, fix bikes, drive kids/missus everywhere etc.

 

It's almost impossible to get an even divide of house chores but it's not too difficult to get somewhere near.

 

I suggest you give him a chore or two that is his responsibility and his alone. Start with the washing up (and see how quickly a dishwasher becomes a necessity) as that's 20-30 minutes a day from memory and quite an easy sell, and then maybe move on to washing the clothes. If he refuses to help don't cook for him.

 

You should expect him to do a little less as he works more than you - that's easily countered by cooking dinner though; equally you don't say what kind of work it is. Is it physical? If it is that would likely make a difference.

[DragonofAna 10]

If you see a pile of dirty pots then you wash them. If you see dust on everything then you clean it off. If the carpet is covered with muck then you vacuum. If there is laundry everywhere then you sort it.

 

The idea that some lazy prat has not been told what to do and therefore does not know what needs doing is pathetic.

 

Dragon of Ana

[Kthebean 10]

It amazes me how blokes who usually pride themselves on their intelligence and common sense can say things like “how am I supposed to know when the floor needs hoovering”

 

Have you considered going on wifeswap?

[Ruglady 10]

This really has a simple solution.

 

Put your things in a bag. Open door. Walk through it.

 

In a few days, you will either have the man he should be begging you to come back or you will need to return and pack another bag for your child and get out of that door again.

[rach80 10]

Hi Rach80. I am a bloke and I get really annoyed with blokes like your OH. Can I ask if it is affecting your physical relationship with him? I can imagine that there is a lot of resentment piling up from you. I would suggest that you get some counselling jointly so that you can tell him how you feel in a safe environment. You can't carry on as you are. Something has to change.

 

 

Physical whats that???? I get up every week day at 6am get myself ready, feed the pets, prepare our daughters pack lunch, then get her up, wash and dress take to breakfast club for 8.00am.

 

Then go to work ( Rotherham - I do drive) start work at 8.30am Finish at 4.30pm Pick daughter up from after school club, sister's or Mums. Go home feed daughter and pets. Wash pots tidy round hoover. Pick OH up from work ( 10 mins down road) Bath daughter, get ready for bed give super. take to bed read story) 8.30pm cook my and his tea, get a shower myself ready for bed. Sit on sofa for the first time...(fall asleep)

 

Weekends I get up around 7.30 - 8am

 

But then all washing, ironing, stripping beds, park, shopping etc is added in to the day.

[rach80 10]

And that's an entirely valid reason. If he hasn't been indoctrinated in the ways f the house, then he won't know what needs doing when. I never put a load of washing on, or iron, or hoover those aren't my jobs and I wouldn't know when they need doing (because I'm not looking for it), but I do get a meal ready every day, get the kids and the wife off to school, make packup, do the shopping, fix bikes, drive kids/missus everywhere etc.

 

It's almost impossible to get an even divide of house chores but it's not too difficult to get somewhere near.

 

I suggest you give him a chore or two that is his responsibility and his alone. Start with the washing up (and see how quickly a dishwasher becomes a necessity) as that's 20-30 minutes a day from memory and quite an easy sell, and then maybe move on to washing the clothes. If he refuses to help don't cook for him.

 

You should expect him to do a little less as he works more than you - that's easily countered by cooking dinner though; equally you don't say what kind of work it is. Is it physical? If it is that would likely make a difference.

 

No its not physical it's same as what I do sit at a desk with computer and telephone!!!

[Gripper Stebson 10]

He works 38 hours over 5 days and I work 32 over 5 days

 

 

Leaving you 1 hour and 12 minutes every day to do some housework, how much time do you need?

Stop complaining and stop typing "think" instead of thing!