Why is dating and marrying for money a predominantly female pastime?

People often wax lyrically about the difference between men and women, but of all the disparities between the sexes, I have never had a satisfactory explanation as to why so many women will enter into a relationship with a man strictly for financial gain and/or status, and why your rarely, if ever, see the roles reversed.

This is not a misogynistic observation, but one born of observation and noted fact. One only has to look at the world of show business and celebrity to see a long procession of unattractive, middle aged movie and rock stars dating drop dead gorgeous women.

At a more tangible level, London’s West End is awash with groups of women whose sole raison d’etre for going out is too meet a Premiership footballer or Arab businessman, regardless, it would seems of what they look like, or how they come across. And at an even more localised level, there are several bars in Sheffield where local (and ageing) entrepreneurs are always seen arm in arm with a leggy blonde. As a mate of mine once shrewdly observed, “when is the last time you saw a fat bird in the passenger seat of a Ferrari?”

Whilst some would dismiss such activity and shrug ‘so what’, I have always found human behaviour fascinating, and as such, this pattern of behaviour throws up a social conundrum, namely why it is predominantly women who indulge in this behaviour and not men. There will be shrieks from the female populous no doubt that men are just as guilty of gold digging as men, but a few notable exceptions aside (i.e. anyone who dates Jade Goody) I just don’t see it. Fifty year old women, no matter how glamorous, tend to be accompanied by fifty year old men. Groups of attractive young lads do not cruise round town looking to pick up ugly but affluent women. Granted, there are probably not the same amount of high profile high earning young women out there to offer a direct comparison, but every wealthy yet plain looking women I have ever known has been accompanied most places by her plain looking boyfriend.

I am very interested to hear opinions on this which can rationalise beyond embittered shouts of “you’re just jealous”. Perhaps the ladies of the forum can offer an intelligent insight into this behaviour? And a bonus prize for anyone who can answer what, as Mrs Merton asked, first attracted Debbie McGee to the millionaire Paul Daniels.

Probably because, in our society, it's men who have the money.

As Willie Sutton, an American bank robber, was reputed to have replied to a judge when asked why he robbed banks 'That's where the money is.' (For SF's Pedants, I know there's no proof he ever said it....so don't bother to point it out. )

There are very few affluent women compared to affluent men. Also, I have to believe that men are dimmer than women in this respect. A rich man with BO, halitosis, a beer gut the size of a filing cabinet, thinning hair, the intelligence of a boiled potatoe and the personality of a warthog seems able to convince himself that an attractive woman less than half his age wants to sleep with him because of his personality, not his money.

There are gigolos who will pursue older women for money - just fewer of them because the number of viable targets are less.

Ignoring for the purposes of this debate the fact I'm married, I like to think I'm a personable, intelligent, un-hideous bloke with a GSOH, as they say. However, I'm also blessed with enough self knowledge to know that it's highly unlikely I'll have very much at all in common with a 20 year old actress-model-whatever. And were I wealthy, her interest in me is unlikely to be because she has a fetish for slightly round tummies and thinning hair.

There's nothing sadder than seeing a man who, with all the best will in the world, is beyond his prime and into part of his life when he should be surveying the results of a materially successful life lived to the full, charging around with a girl a third of his age and acting like a 25 year old himself. Unattractive and pathetic. But that's another thread.

I think it's because looks for money is an equal trade, for those who choose to get what they want by means of another person.

But I also think what both are looking for is a sense of self worth, and the money is just the means by which it can be displayed.

A rich man with BO, halitosis, a beer gut the size of a filing cabinet, thinning hair, the intelligence of a boiled potatoe and the personality of a warthog seems able to convince himself that an attractive woman less than half his age wants to sleep with him because of his personality, not his money.

Im not so sure that the man convinces himself that his pesronality won her over, i think they are usually most aware that his bulging wallet played a part and i think 9/10 times they dont care either as long as they have got the 'trophy' girlfriend to dangle off their arm in the local pub.As for the woman, financial security is what i think most people crave for thats why most people have a quid or two on the lottery, so if you are an attractive woman and able to use you looks and sexuality to secure a good way of life-why not? i have seen a few examples of the 'toy boy' as well, the only differance being that the older rich woman seems to take more care of herself in her appearance than the fat oaf rich bloke making herself a slightly more appealing package to the partner.

Either way, have any of you seen my new helicopter?

Having returned at 4am this morning from a night out, I decided to go to the all night supermarket. This is an indicator to the state of my love life.

I saw Mr uber sexy cool heading my way, and as our eyes met over the peppers, a very pregnant Miss Shelf stacker appeared and gave him a kiss, he was at this point still giving me eye contact, not to be trusted then.

Moving on I saw a chav with incorrectly spelt tattoo's, and an earing (personal pet hate) studying the alphabeti spaghetti, elo luv wot you doin out at this time he asked.

So my options are

1) Move to London and hunt down footballer, who might not be faithful.

2) Settle for alphabetti buying buying chav.

or 3) just forget the whole thing.

Someone told me a few nights ago, good looks fade, and a vile personality gets more vile with age.

An age old conundrum.

A. A young attractive woman seeks out men, the men in question have to have money invariably to give or spend on said woman in return for their companionship & more.

B. A young attractive woman advertises that she is available to escort men for companionship & more for an hourly fee.

Which one is the prostitute.

Have you looked at it from the angle that PERHAPS some men are easily taken in - they think some sort of bimbo on their arm shows other men that they are worth envying - what!! It just shows how shallow they are and that their home life in the main must be full of stupid conversation - even in the bedroom their antics might bore him after a bit and the crunch comes when he realises if they divorce she is going to get an undeserved slice of his money. Most intelligent women may have a toyboy but would be unlikely to marry them. If I was a man I wouldn't be caught dead with some bimbo who would'nt be able to hold an intelligent conversation with my circle of friends and I would be amused at those who would. Sorry if this seems harsh but there are plenty of reasonably attractive women who would be more compatible and clever ones at that - not too clever in case that encroached on theman's ego.

As for the woman, financial security is what i think most people crave for thats why most people have a quid or two on the lottery, so if you are an attractive woman and able to use you looks and sexuality to secure a good way of life-why not?

I believe sleeping with someone for financial gain is called prostitution. It's inherently sad someone would go to these lenghts to satisfy such materialistic notions.

i have seen a few examples of the 'toy boy' as well

It is very, very rare. And one susepects that often it is not a financial raitonal, but a sexual attraction. Let's put it this way. If Mr Joe average, aged 48, won the lottery tomorrow, he would have women flocking round him like crack dealers round a schoolgate. If Miss June average won the lottery, I simply don't believe there would be a string of handsome young men beating a path to her door.

So my options are

1) Move to London and hunt down footballer, who might not be faithful.

2) Settle for alphabetti buying buying chav.

or 3) just forget the whole thing.

Someone told me a few nights ago, good looks fade, and a vile personality gets more vile with age.

4) Don't look for love in Spar at 4.30 in the morning.

Having returned at 4am this morning from a night out, I decided to go to the all night supermarket. This is an indicator to the state of my love life.

I saw Mr uber sexy cool heading my way, and as our eyes met over the peppers, a very pregnant Miss Shelf stacker appeared and gave him a kiss, he was at this point still giving me eye contact, not to be trusted then.

Moving on I saw a chav with incorrectly spelt tattoo's, and an earing (personal pet hate) studying the alphabeti spaghetti, elo luv wot you doin out at this time he asked.

So my options are

1) Move to London and hunt down footballer, who might not be faithful.

2) Settle for alphabetti buying buying chav.

or 3) just forget the whole thing.

Someone told me a few nights ago, good looks fade, and a vile personality gets more vile with age.

I think you need to start shopping somewhere else ; Sure it wasnt me with the incorrectly spelt tat?