Ale house fraser road

[GeorgyGirl 10]

A piece of red tarmac walks into a pub.

The landlord says "get out, we don't serve cycle paths".

 

A woman and a duck walk into a bar.

 

The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig."

 

The woman says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck."

 

He says, "I was talking to the duck."

 

So a guy walks into a bar, looking really moody and orders immediately a double-whiskey. Then he starts rambling on about how lousy a wife he's got, until the bartender finally says: "You know, I don't understand what you're complaining about. All the other guys in here only have compliments about your wife."

 

Skunk walks into a bar and he says, "Hey where did everybody go?"

 

E-flat walks into a bar, The bartender says, sorry, we don't serve minors......

 

A potato walks into a bar and all eyes were on him!

 

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?" The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging." "Hanging? Who are they hanging?" "Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked. "Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

 

 

"Rustling," said the bartender.

 

Two guys are sitting at a bar. One guy says to the other, "Do you know that lions have sex 10 or 15 times a night?". The other guy says, "Damn, I just joined the Rotary Club."

 

A termite walks into a bar and says is the bartender here?

 

A hamburger and a french fry walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't serve food here

 

In a bar in a remote Alaskan town, a newcomer hears people yell out numbers (#23!, #56, etc.) and then everyone laughs. He asks the guy next to him what's going on, and he says the jokes have been told so many times, people just yell out their numbers instead of retelling them. So he yells out #27! but nobody laughs. The guy next to him says, "Some people can tell a joke, and some people can't."

 

A guy walks into a bar. There's nobody there except the bartender and a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. The man says, "I'm buying that woman a drink." The bartender says, "You don't want to do that. She's a lesbian." The man says, "I don't care, give the drink." After the woman gets the drink, she raises the glass to her benefactor. The man strolls over to her. He says, "Hi. I'm Bill Williams from Terre Haute. So how are things in Beirut?"

 

What do you call a Bohemian that gets thrown out of a bar?

 

A bounced Czech

 

 

 

Duck walks into a bar. Says to the bar tender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't sell peanuts." The duck leaves.

 

Next day, duck walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts." Bar tender replies, "I already told you I don't sell peanuts!" The duck leaves.

 

Next day, the duck walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts!" Bar tender yells back, "I told you, I don't sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I'll nail you to the wall!" So the duck leaves.

 

Next day, the duck walks into the bar, "Do you have any nails?" Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't have nails." Duck asks, "Do you have any peanuts?"

 

Happy Now!

[jemson 10]

Worth remembering that this place FAILED in it's previous guises and hence was sold off to a private buyer. The Ale House has been open since August 2011.

[GeorgyGirl 10]

Worth remembering that this place FAILED in it's previous guises and hence was sold off to a private buyer. The Ale House has been open since August 2011.

 

 

Happy Birthday to you![/]Happy birthday to you![/size]Happy birthday dear Ale Hou................................................oops!

 

So thats it a,success after 2 years?

Edited October 17, 2013 by GeorgyGirl

[Shogun 10]

That pub lasted 60 years as proper pub and a very busy pub as well,the landlords in the past did not discriminate against anyone...its just a sad reflection of the times as thousands of good pubs throughout the country have closed..maybe this will be the start of a new trend in pubs..I agree with him actually as it is his prerogative to serve who wants,a lot of good pubs have been closed down because of the bad behaviour of people..

[GeorgyGirl 10]

That pub lasted 60 years as proper pub and a very busy pub as well,the landlords in the past did not discriminate against anyone...its just a sad reflection of the times as thousands of good pubs throughout the country have closed..maybe this will be the start of a new trend in pubs..I agree with him actually as it is his prerogative to serve who wants,a lot of good pubs have been closed down because of the bad behaviour of people..

 

Yes I was going in a long time ago,people are saying that maybe this pub has'Failed'due to mis-management,but lets look at that.

People desperate for jobs(any job)look at being a publican,on the surface good living sociable hours meet lots of people etc.approaches a brewery who then talks them into taking a lease out on a pub,investing money in said business,signs minimum contact before you know it the brewery have them by the proverbials 'cos they can only buy the beer at top prices from the brewery and then they find out that the rents are going up! eventually enough is enough and they just have to walk away with a great loss of savings and investment this is happening every day up and down the country.

[Drinker 10]

I have a friend that goes in here quite a lot and he enjoys this place then told me that if your having a meal and you are a member then is 2 for 1 surely that can't be right? Can anyone tell me if this is true?

[DerbyTup 10]

Yes I was going in a long time ago,people are saying that maybe this pub has'Failed'due to mis-management,but lets look at that.

People desperate for jobs(any job)look at being a publican,on the surface good living sociable hours meet lots of people etc.approaches a brewery who then talks them into taking a lease out on a pub,investing money in said business,signs minimum contact before you know it the brewery have them by the proverbials 'cos they can only buy the beer at top prices from the brewery and then they find out that the rents are going up! eventually enough is enough and they just have to walk away with a great loss of savings and investment this is happening every day up and down the country.

 

Hey GeorgyGirl, you spelled spontaneity wrong. Just thought I'd point it out. Go to the back of the class!

[taxman 12]

Slightly off topic but this thread reminded me of somewhere.

 

There is a fantastic pub in York called the Blue Bell that recently upset The Daily Mail and CAMRA with its policy on not admitting groups.

 

It displays a sign outside that reads "Private Party" but this is just to discourage people from going in who don't know whats what. In reality they discourage race goers, hen parties and other groups because the place is so tiny. It seats 30 at a push and has room for about another 30 standing. It also has a very strict no swearing policy which is fair enough given how tiny the place is.

 

Last time we were in a party of racegoers were ejected because one of them was drunk and continually swore. He'd been given two warnings and on the third occasion the barmaid picked up all their unfinished drinks and told them to get out.

 

It might seem like an unfriendly and commercially unwise policy but it works for them. My partner said she'd happily go there on her own because she knows it won't be full of tanked up goboffs. All the locals chat to you and it's like being in someone's front parlour.

 

And as long as he is making money, and is successful and fills the few seats he has then good luck to him.

[GeorgyGirl 10]

Hey GeorgyGirl, you spelled spontaneity wrong. Just thought I'd point it out. Go to the back of the class!

 

Are you a 'Real Ale drinker/Trainspotter'got too much time on you hands...................................to err is human!

Thanks.

 

by the way have you learned how to spell middlesbrough or hillsborough correct yet?..........................................touche!

Edited October 17, 2013 by GeorgyGirl

[kirkyb 10]

Everyone is entitled to an opinion,thats what so good about this forum

just because you may not agree with the responses does'nt turn people into moaning and bitching opinionites!Seems like you've had a bit of a rant here!

To get back to the OP this chap walks into a public house wanting a pint and is told he can't have one,not done anything wrong!why is that and is it right?

 

---------- Post added 16-10-2013 at 22:48 ----------

 

 

Sorry mate only to regulars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.............................:hihi:

 

It's.Called.Sarcasm

 

As I said above a Mathematical formula

[GeorgyGirl 10]

It's.Called.Sarcasm

 

As I said above a Mathematical formula

 

Sorry but i think it's called irony,the guy who starts the thread and is refused service,then comes back on to ask if its true that they are serving beer at a £1 a pint is it not ironic?and my answer being 'only to regulars'was supposed to be funny not sarcastic!

[DerbyTup 10]

Are you a 'Real Ale drinker/Trainspotter'got too much time on you hands...................................to err is human!

Thanks.

 

by the way have you learned how to spell middlesbrough or hillsborough correct yet?..........................................touche!

 

I like a good pint of real ale but I don't spot trains. I like them the way they are and think spots would spoil them really.

 

My interests are wide and varied. I am fond of paraffin lamps and linoleum for example and I once had a dissertation published on Scart leads. I have represented my County at Bradawl restoration too.

 

So I am a very interesting person even though people point at me a lot and laugh.

 

I usually spell place names with caution, preferring to use the abbreviated "boro" rather than risk making a fool of myself by doing it the hard way. But if I get it wrong I blame the spell checka see?

 

I am a bit embarrissed now thow.