Unwanted / Wanted Pregnancy

[MTheo 10]

Intentionally doing it, is a whole different ball game and quite selfish and stupid.

 

agreed, was quite shocked when she just told me that!

[Darbees 10]

In the mans defence I'd suggest that in his position I would have assumed (in some cases erroneously) that the woman involved wouldn't have wanted to fall pregnant either.

 

If you had a one-night-stand wouldn't you pretty much assume the bloke didn't want to make you pregnant that night?

Yes but the fact is that sometimes they do fall pregnant and although they might have grand ideas about casually getting an abortion beforehand, women very often feel very different once they actually fall pregnant even when it's by accident and since they then have to deal with the consequences regardless of whether or not the father meets his obligations, the woman makes all the decisions. It can't work any other way and if it happens to you, you will realise why.

[waxonwaxoff 13]

Yet by the reaction of some here they feel that even if he were 'trapped' in the situation he should be made fully responsible.

 

Of course he should take some precaution himself, I am not saying he shouldn't, just questioning the idea that he can be as fully 'liable' when she is lying (yes, I'm assuming he asked) about contraception.

 

Lying about contraception is not the same situation as both getting caught. IF the women has gone out of her way to get pregnant then she must take a lot of the responsibilty. I still think the man should take responsibiltity for his own contraception.

[Darbees 10]

Lying about contraception is not the same situation as both getting caught. IF the women has gone out of her way to get pregnant then she must take a lot of the responsibilty. I still think the man should take responsibiltity for his own contraception.

How can a man prove that if she is chasing him for maintenance?

[waxonwaxoff 13]

How can a man prove that if she is chasing him for maintenance?

 

You just have to be more picky about who your poking I guess.

 

Seriously though. If he had took his own precautions he wouldnt have that issue. I think in the case of a long term relationship and this is done it is even worse. You put a lot more trust in a long term partner that shouldnt be betrayed.

[DaFoot 10]

You just have to be more picky about who your poking I guess.

While that's true, I don't think it's high on anyones agenda when it comes to a one night stand.

[MTheo 10]

While that's true, I don't think it's high on anyones agenda when it comes to a one night stand.

 

and add beer goggles to the equation....never a good thing! glad I don't drink alcohol haha

[Dark Moomin 10]

I think Chopsie has made the most sensible post (not disregarding may other good posts!).

 

My problem with this whole thing is a matter of fairness. And regardless of what the law says - they are not always the right or only way of doing things - it is not fair for the woman to have all the power in a situation that 2 people got into willingly and either stupidly (no protection) or accidentally (failed protection). I agree its not fair for the man to be able to force a womans decision, but he should be able to swiftly take it to court to sever his own parental rights allowing the woman to decide what she wants to do in the situation of having no father to chase. Of course the court could then have a role deciding whether the situation is such that a severing of rights is appropriate - e.g. if an ongoing relationship could be proven then that's a different situation to a one night stand.

 

To put another possibility out there - what if she fell preganant and was unable to trace said man, he would automatically avoid responsibility, at least until she found him again. So a man who has the decency to leave a number has the hassle?

 

Oh yes - I'm a woman by the way!

[MTheo 10]

I think Chopsie has made the most sensible post (not disregarding may other good posts!).

 

My problem with this whole thing is a matter of fairness. And regardless of what the law says - they are not always the right or only way of doing things - it is not fair for the woman to have all the power in a situation that 2 people got into willingly and either stupidly (no protection) or accidentally (failed protection). I agree its not fair for the man to be able to force a womans decision, but he should be able to swiftly take it to court to sever his own parental rights allowing the woman to decide what she wants to do in the situation of having no father to chase. Of course the court could then have a role deciding whether the situation is such that a severing of rights is appropriate - e.g. if an ongoing relationship could be proven then that's a different situation to a one night stand.

 

To put another possibility out there - what if she fell preganant and was unable to trace said man, he would automatically avoid responsibility, at least until she found him again. So a man who has the decency to leave a number has the hassle?

 

Oh yes - I'm a woman by the way!

 

Good post....

 

Interesting point about not being able to trace the father! thats a whole new can of worms lol

[missmode 10]

The sooner there is a male pill the better at least then men can have the same sort of control as women do now. You still won't have 100% effectiveness but less are more likely to get caught out.

[Grahame 10]

No one has mentioned the most important person in all of this. The soon to be living, breathing, walking, talking, child. I wonder what their wishes might be in all of this? Reading the posts so far makes them sound like piggy in the middle before they are even born.

 

.

[MTheo 10]

The sooner there is a male pill the better at least then men can have the same sort of control as women do now. You still won't have 100% effectiveness but less are more likely to get caught out.

 

Or the ability for men to give birth....but I think that's a little while off!