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Farting. Is it really that serious? Share your stories!


Who do you fart in front of?  

100 members have voted

  1. 1. Who do you fart in front of?

    • fart all the time no matter who is around
      19
    • fart in front of immediate family only
      29
    • fart in front of spouse only
      13
    • never fart in front of anyone if I can help it
      39


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Originally posted by Carmine

My cat farts...a three-legged moggy and an expert at the SBD...you never hear it before it assaults your nose.

 

Fart and apologise, for I loathe the person who breaks wind and glorys in the unpleasant fallout.

 

My next door's cat used to poo in the garden, then bury it. How clever is that then?

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Originally posted by viking

My next door's cat used to poo in the garden, then bury it. How clever is that then?

I once watched in fascination as a cat defacated in the middle of my neighbour's lawn and fastidiously dug up the turf before concealing the offending turd beneath and prancing off...the wonders of nature.

 

My cat's not allowed out due to his disability, the problem is that his lack of a pair of back legs means he can't triangulate the proper angle and misses his litter tray all the time.

 

And when I bought him prawns the other day the finnicky ******* turned his nose up...ah well, more for me.

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<---rather cute and very old dog used to let off a silent-but-deadly, wag her tail like mad to waft it round the room then run off to escape the fumes!!! either that or she'd manage a not-quite-silent-but-still-as-deadly, make herself jump with the noise and run off somewhere safe!!!!:gag:

awww... I miss the poor lil dog!!!:suspect:

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Originally posted by em3978

<---rather cute and very old dog used to let off a silent-but-deadly, wag her tail like mad to waft it round the room then run off to escape the fumes!!! either that or she'd manage a not-quite-silent-but-still-as-deadly, make herself jump with the noise and run off somewhere safe!!!!:gag:

awww... I miss the poor lil dog!!!:suspect:

My partner grew up with the wonderful comic stylings of a Collie and a Yorshire Terrier.

 

The former would hunch down on his front legs and hoist his posterior in the air to break wind.

 

But for years they thought that the little terrier was scared of his own flatulence as every time he farted he let out a little yelp and ran forward a few feet. After a number of years he had an x-ray taken and the vet figured out that the poor little mite had a testicle wrapped around his pelvis so that when he farted it twanged against the bone like an elasticated bat and ball.

 

Now that's a painful fart.

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Originally posted by Kristian

I'll fart in front of close family, and close friends, but NOT my boyfriend; I think as soon as you can fart infront of your partner the relationship is over, be it in two weeks or two years!

 

K x

 

Originally posted by shieshuk

Hi Kristian

 

Well he's stuck by me for 9 years to date - I think he quite likes the 'central heating' I provide at bedtime - LOL!

 

Yes, perhaps my first post was a little strong; trumping in front of your partner might not mean the end of everything, although one person brushing their teeth while the other has a poo most certaiinly is in my book! :gag:

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Originally posted by feargal Mind you "pull my finger" still raises a giggle. [/b]
I remember the US satire magazine "Cracked" claiming that definitive date of the first "Pull my finger" joke was circa 40,000 BC.
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Originally posted by Don_Kiddick

Do anyother Dads fart on their kids heads to get a

:gag: AAaarrghhh DAAAAAAD! reaction?

 

My Dad did it to me & now I find I'm continuing the family trend.

 

It's so funny :hihi:

 

My dad used to fart then lock all the car windows.

He was an evil man.

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