Adults Afraid of Children?

[foxforcefive 10]

What? With my own child with me?

 

 

It was meant as a joke, sorry.

 

As for the rest of it, I really can't answer as I've never experienced anything other than friendliness from other mums/dads/carers.

[Moonbird 11]

It freaks me out actually. I've got a little one here and when I take him out I naturally look at other people's babies and want to interact with the child and the parent, even if it is only a friendly smile. But by the hell, you get some terrible reactions!!!!

 

Bear in mind that I'm pushing our own baby in a pram, so I'm not exactly satan, but you get mums of all classes, ages, races etc glaring at you like you are a piece of crap on their shoe!!!

 

If I sit and think about it too much it makes me feel quite emotional and sad. All you want to do is to connect with another parent, smile at their own baby, but you are made to feel as though you are a freak. I really, really, really do not understand it, as when someone looks at our lad, smiles at him, even makes him laugh or says how cute he is I couldn't feel any more proud.

 

Almost nobody else with a baby ever stops to look at him or even acknowledges you. The only people who do are people without kids. Am I actually deviant for having my own child and wanting to smile at other kids and feeling pleased when someone smiles at mine???? Or are people just snotty bumholes?

I think maybe it is the latter in the case of the people who's babies you decide to "coo over".

 

This thread is so sad in many ways, and it shows the way that society has now been conditioned to think... where is a species headed that is afraid of it's own type? this is a very dangerous and slippery slope.

 

When my kids were small (a long time ago) I certainly never felt like this, loads of women would stop and chat about their babies and husbands...just share the things common to women really, where did that go?

 

I no longer have babies of my own, but I love to see a smiley, or sleepy baby on a bus etc they still make me smile, and 9 times out of 10 when I am caught peeking and smiling I am met with a smile from the Mum as well, I certainly don't feel like a freak for liking babies... I don't want to steal or even touch the baby, surely it is a thing built into most of to find babies attractive (please no one make more of that than was intended ).

[chem1st 10]

It doesent really register, I'll smile/pull a face/tell a story etc. although at times there have been innocent comments which could easily come across as very wrong.

A mate of mine got a lot of wind up for 2 of these comments not long since.

'I love little kids - they are so funny'

>> You love little kids do you?

'No I just like to play with them'

>> You can imagine the wind up he got for that

[lauragolf 10]

It's not just you. I often feel self concieous (sp?) when I'm out and about with my (nearly 5 yo) niece.

 

Couple of times I've had a kid in shopping trolly or something smile at me... I just want to pull a face back but daren't for fear of the parent's reaction.

 

Even worse if I have my (large + scary looking) camera with me. Always feel on edge, half waiting for someone to confront me for daring to have a camera in public.

 

EDIT:

I wonder if blokes are more prone to worry about this than the ladies. Do others perceptions differ if in the situation you descibe it was a chap with the youngster rather than a lady?

 

i think its both

 

i was in meadowhell recently and there was a little boy who had lost his mum and i was aware that i was holding the hand of a child that wasnt mine while i was looking for a shop assistant - its worrying what society has done to us

[Dozy 11]

Not being keen on kiddiwinks (understatement of the year!) I seldom feel the need to coo at them.

 

But the other week I was sitting in the Peace Gardens, watching a little sproglette who could hardly totter, who was fascinated by the water fountains, it was so funny it made me smile. I must have been watching her for a good 10 to 15 minutes and it did occur to me that, had I been a man, I would probably have been regarded with grave suspicion.

 

It seems such a shame that nowadays the tendency is to suspect any man who shows an interest in children, whether it's watching them in the park or talking to them if they come up to him.

[Mathom 10]

I think maybe it is the latter in the case of the people who's babies you decide to "coo over".

 

This thread is so sad in many ways, and it shows the way that society has now been conditioned to think... where is a species headed that is afraid of it's own type? this is a very dangerous and slippery slope.

 

When my kids were small (a long time ago) I certainly never felt like this, loads of women would stop and chat about their babies and husbands...just share the things common to women really, where did that go?

 

I no longer have babies of my own, but I love to see a smiley, or sleepy baby on a bus etc they still make me smile, and 9 times out of 10 when I am caught peeking and smiling I am met with a smile from the Mum as well, I certainly don't feel like a freak for liking babies... I don't want to steal or even touch the baby, surely it is a thing built into most of to find babies attractive (please no one make more of that than was intended ).

 

I honestly think a lot of it is 'city folk'. Or at least modern city folk.

 

I grew up in a village and if you didn't say "hello" to your neighbours in a morning you'd be branded a weirdo, yet I have a neighbour who makes a big deal out of ignoring you to your face. If I go to smaller towns and villages people are much, much more friendly and open, but younger people in Sheffield can be terribly suspicious and paranoid, particularly the 'better educated' types.

 

Yet talk to people on a forum like this and they are super-friendly.

 

When I go to the clinic I find the mums who are open to talk are mostly the poorer mums, and also foreign born mums, but the educated looking mums (I know that sounds odd, but you know what I mean!) are really stand-offish.

 

People really are odd. Last week two nice older women stopped to coo over our little boy when we were sat having a picnic and one said "Oooh, I could take you home with me!" and I thought nothing of it! But you can imagine some people going psycho over it!

[AGB1 10]

I've been fortunate to work in 3 children's hospitals both in Sheffield and in Canada. I'm a young(ish) male who absolutely loves working with kids and working in the hospital environment means you can get away with all sorts of stuff like pulling faces, playing with toys or picking up and consoling upset children up etc without any looks of suspicion.

 

Compare this to the reaction I get on the street when I'm not wearing a stethoscope around my neck...You look at a child in a pushchair and the mother looks at you as if you're about to run off with the baby! I feel very self conscious around children outside of work.

 

I often wonder if it'll get worse as I get older...I have a feeling that a middle aged male playing with a kid looks even more suspicious than a young male.

Argh!

[AGB1 10]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/7474968.stm

 

And with things like this going on...since when did a baby's bottom become pornographic!?

[Chopsie 10]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/7474968.stm

 

And with things like this going on...since when did a baby's bottom become pornographic!?

 

I am utterly lost for words by this...

[DaFoot 10]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/7474968.stm

 

And with things like this going on...since when did a baby's bottom become pornographic!?

 

Can't blame the ASDA staff, they been told not to print any sort of nudity and in the current paranoid society I'm not suprised they have that policy.

 

Imagine someone takes offence that they, as a nekkid baby, on a cake at an office suprise party or such, they'll be suing the cake making for it or something equally daft

[chris@25 10]

The trouble with the current paranoia about adults interacting with kids (let's be honest, they mean men, women aren't suspected in the same way) is that most regular, responsible and thoughtful adults will feel inhibited about interacting with kids, but the tiny number of people who may be a threat to kids won't.

[prettygood 10]

This is sometimes described as "the end of informality". Instead of adults and children interacting as they've always done, such interactions now has to be vetted and logged by the state. The individual adult can't be trusted with children since they're obviously a ruthless paedophile, so good old Nanny has to get involved to oversee everything.

 

The new law regarding CRB checks for anyone working with under-16s will have unforeseen consequences on teenage employment. When I was 14 I got a job on a milk round. It taught me the values of hard work, punctuality and self-reliance. If a 15-year-old now applies for a job, every adult employee likely to encounter them at that job has to have this CRB check at £64 a time. Even if a company only has 5 employees that will come into contact with that teenager, that's still £320 it needs to shell out. What's the logical outcome to this? Companies will stop employing under-16s and they'll lose the valuable experience that a teenager part-time job brings.

 

Meddling authoritarian idiots.