Breaking up with your partner

[mizz 10]

I have just decided to end my 2 yr relationship with my other half as I found out she had cheated on me,I wonderd if the saying is right that in time you get over the pain:confused:

I feel really down at this moment and I even thought of trying to forget about it but my pride wont let me,I really dont know what to do for the best.

Is it possible to make a relationship work after you have been cheated on? I would really appericate any advice from anyone who has gone through the same.

[wendz44 10]

it is possible to have a relationship work after being cheated on. but you would need to talk , talk and talk. find out why she cheated and does she regret it. if you love her enough to give her a second chance, then you will

put it behind you and eventually you will be able to move on together. if she does it again , get out. one mistake can be forgiven, to do it again is just taking the p**s. and yes, the pain does ease

[mojo1 10]

I tried to make a relationship work after I was cheated on, but I couldn't get past it.

That doesn't mean that that's the case for everyone.

If you do split up then the pain does get easier. I found that it was the self doubt that I suffered as a result that was the hardest thing to shake.

That went away too with time and I became stronger and happier as a result.

 

You can't ever forget this happened, in time you'll be able to forgive, whether you're together or not.

[Suffragette1 10]

it is possible to have a relationship work after being cheated on. but you would need to talk , talk and talk. find out why she cheated and does she regret it. if you love her enough to give her a second chance, then you will

put it behind you and eventually you will be able to move on together. if she does it again , get out. one mistake can be forgiven, to do it again is just taking the p**s. and yes, the pain does ease

 

I agree, I think everyone deserves a 2nd chance. But it means having to be really strong and committed and not use it as a weapon every time an argument ensues. The pain does go, with time, and you will get over it. Meaningless platitudes now I realise when the pain is still so raw.

[Jabberwocky 46]

My sis in law and her hubby are going through a divorce because he cheated on her about three years ago. She tried hard to make the marriage work but as the months went by she found herself becoming more and more repelled by him, just the sight of him, in the end was more than enough to make her feel physically ill.

 

Ive never been cheated on, but I think Id be the same as her. Nothing taints a relationship quite so thoroughly than infidelity.

[jfish1936 10]

LOng ago, there was a live discussion panel on BBC TV; Gilbert Harding and Isobel Barnett were members.

The Society of Friends (Quakers) published a study on sex and marriage, in which they said that an episode of adultery did not necessarily mean the end of a marriage.

Lady Isobel said: "It seems these Quakers are saying you can commit adultery till you go blue in the face!"

Gilbert Harding:"What a wonderful way to go!"

The transmission blanked out, and there were angel fish........ (what they showed when there was no program)

 

Seriously, only you and your partner can decide. Forgiveness is great, if it is real, with no referring back in future; especially if your partner really means not to do it again.

If they feel it may happen again, and you feel that's unacceptable, then break up.

Why did it happen? (don't tell us, just yourself); if in any way it was partly your fault, admit it and don't let the same thing happen with a new partner. If it was part of your partner's attitude to life in general, don't pick a new one with the same attitude!

 

Yes, the relationship can work; but you both need to work on it together.

[mizz 10]

I tried to ask her why she did it and she told me I wasnt putting enough into the relationship,she really wouldnt say anything else except that she wants to try to make it work, im still not sure I could after all thats happend.

But thanks for your advice I appreciate your replies will have to weigh up if I can move on or not.

[Suffragette1 10]

I tried to ask her why she did it and she told me I wasnt putting enough into the relationship,she really wouldnt say anything else except that she wants to try to make it work, im still not sure I could after all thats happend.

But thanks for your advice I appreciate your replies will have to weigh up if I can move on or not.

 

I personally think that there are worse things one can do a partner than cheat, that is provided it doesn't become a regular occurence.

 

Perhaps the best thing would be a cooling off period which would give you an opportunity to really figure out where you want to go from here.

[Suffragette1 10]

How did you find out? Did she tell you?

[mizz 10]

How did you find out? Did she tell you?

 

I was told by a very good friend and I confronted her and she admitted it,I should have know something was not right by the way she behaved over the last couple of months.

She didnt want to have sex and she didnt want to get close either,she seemed on edge and moody,I thought it was just womans trouble if u know what I mean but it turns out it wasnt.

She told me she had been seeing this guy from work and they had been intimate,I felt like going to her place of work and ringing his neck but then I thought why should I ? she was with me but this guy is single so she ought to have been the one telling him to back off,god women are sooooooo hard to work out.

[Suffragette1 10]

I was told by a very good friend and I confronted her and she admitted it,I should have know something was not right by the way she behaved over the last couple of months.

She didnt want to have sex and she didnt want to get close either,she seemed on edge and moody,I thought it was just womans trouble if u know what I mean but it turns out it wasnt.

She told me she had been seeing this guy from work and they had been intimate,I felt like going to her place of work and ringing his neck but then I thought why should I ? she was with me but this guy is single so she ought to have been the one telling him to back off,god women are sooooooo hard to work out.

 

I do feel for you. But as she wants to work things out then maybe she's really contrite? People have affairs for all sorts of reasons and it doesn't necessarily mean the end to the relationship. Perhaps try Relate?

[Plain Talker 11]

I could not forgive a partner that cheated on me. My opinion is that, if he was so "low" that he could cheat, then he's too "low" for me to waste my energy on.

 

For me it would be the end of the relationship.