richjob Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 I think we as a *supposed* gay comunity need to stop bitching at each other at every available op! So what if nick doesn't like showing affection in public I dont see as that makes him less of a gay man than me for example who does and I can see this thread going down that avenue so lets not! I also think that people should lay off goldenfleece I've kissed my ex in various spots allover town (I was very drunk) and never had a problem even in bedroom! I think that a lot of gay men are getting as narrowminded as the homophobic louts they're complaining about I've ranted on and this probably doesnt make sense but hey im tired I've not eaten and im at work....so sue me! I think your comments are directed at me ??? I am not bitching at Nick, I was saying good luck (genuine) to him also I said thank you to goldenfleece and will call in for a drink. Everyone has their own experiences and I do not feel safe or comfortable in most "straight" pubs as a GAY man. I have suffered verbal abuse and dirty looks before. Going back to the original question/thread - whatever style the "gay" bar is I want it to be safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nick2 Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 I do not feel safe or comfortable in most "straight" pubs as a GAY man. I have suffered verbal abuse and dirty looks before. I don't see why this is, unless you go out wearing a t-shirt with "I'M GAY" on it how would people know ? Perhaps you should try just going out as a man, not a gay man ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richjob Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 I don't see why this is, unless you go out wearing a t-shirt with "I'M GAY" on it how would people know ? Perhaps you should try just going out as a man, not a gay man ? But I am a gay man !!! I am proud to be gay, it,s who I am. I am not into this "straight acting" "fitting in" thing. I have been out since I was 13 and 40 is flashing it's headlights at me now, I am a man who happens to have it off with other men. I can't help it if I am "obvious". And no I am not camp acting (well not much), I don't wear a dress and I have not got a big handle bar mustache (spelt wrong I know) or listen to Judy Garland records. I won't apologise or hide because of some small minded individual(s), but I also don't want to be treated different to everyone else or have my sexuality treated as a joke or figure of hate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damo Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Just because you are gay doesn't mean you have to scream it from the rooftops every chance you get. I don't want to offend but I think you come across as small minded by instantly assuming that every *straight* venue you goto is going to be full of straight people staring at you becuase you're gay. I have tonnes of gay and straight friends and I don't stick to one type of venue ie gay or straight I like to mix it up whats the point in segregating yourself from straight people then complaining that gay people aren't accepted! it's daft! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccellis Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 I see this has ignited some kind of indifferent discussions! Richhen04 I suggested you to try my bar because it will be friendly towards you no matter what your sexuality is. Why would you want to try and disprove that by acting up, it doesn't make sense to me. I work in a bar called Sanctuary, near the cathedral. We concentrate on serving people well and making people feel welcome. If you came into my bar on a friday or saturday night and started kissing your boyfriend, there wouldn't be a problem. It sounds like you would take that too far and abuse our friendliness to try and prove a point and that wouldn't help anyone at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nick2 Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 It's a bit like if you were a black guy saying you don't go to certain pubs because some of the customers might be racist. Some might be, but they are a tiny minority. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiderPete Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 I do not feel safe or comfortable in most "straight" pubs as a GAY man. I have suffered verbal abuse and dirty looks before. Well as I am one who frequents more "straight" pubs than "gay" ones with either work colleagues or Forum peeps I have never had any verbal abuse of dirty looks or felt uncomfortable at all, and I am not exactly "butch" dear, and I dont hide the fact I am gay either, I am myself. Gawd knows which pubs you go into :suspect: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richjob Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 First of all can I offer a genuine apology to anyone I have upset or offended, that was not my intention. We all experience different things in life. I spend a lot of time in straight bars and have alot of straight friends who I love dearly. But I still believe that true equality/integration means everyone being treated the same and shown respect and on the odd occassion that I might want to be affectionate in public with a boyfriend I would only feel safe doing that in a gay venue not a straight one. Without naming the bars I once was beaten up by two lads in the toilets in a bar on Division Street for being a "fag" and I am currently waiting to hear from the CPS about a case going to court where I was attacked physically and verbally for being a "queer" and this was very near a bar someone else on the thread has mentioned. I know these are rare cases but they are my experiences. It's a strange world we live in. ps. I have been to the Sanctuary and it is a fantastic bar REALLY good food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccellis Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 ps. I have been to the Sanctuary and it is a fantastic bar REALLY good food. I'm glad you like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halibut Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 ps. I have been to the Sanctuary and it is a fantastic bar REALLY good food. I can second that! Excellent food at a sensible price, chilled atmosphere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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