stressconsul   10 #13 Posted December 23, 2014 Nice post. I think you are spot on there. ---------- Post added 23-12-2014 at 16:03 ----------  I know a guy in his 60s who had three children with a woman in her 30s. I think it made him feel younger again.  I would think parenting three young children in your sixties would turn you into an old old man. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
ubermaus   10 #14 Posted December 23, 2014 I would think parenting three young children in your sixties would turn you into an old old man.  It looks like hard work. And expensive. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
anfisa   10 #15 Posted December 23, 2014 (edited) This may be the case biologically but socially I find two things baffling. Why would a guy of 60 want to spend time with someone so young that they have no cultural references in common? After all you can't spend your whole life in bed? Why would a guy of 60, having presumably seen off their youngest child to University want to start with the broken nights and the nappies again? Just when they could have some time (and money) to themselves.  I have no idea what you mean by cultural references in common.  Plenty of old people enjoy the same activities that young people enjoy and plenty of young people enjoy the same activities that old people enjoy, getting old doesn't mean you spend all your time knitting and playing dominoes and being young doesn't mean you can't enjoy knitting and dominoes.  Many people don't have children whilst young so may want them when they are older, and having them when you are older is easier if your partner is young.  And it isn't just older men that look for young women, many older women look for young men for the same reasons. Edited December 23, 2014 by anfisa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
stressconsul   10 #16 Posted December 23, 2014 I have no idea what you mean by cultural references in common. Plenty of old people enjoy the same activities that young people enjoy and plenty of young people enjoy the same activities that old people enjoy, getting old doesn't mean you spend all your time knitting and playing dominoes and being young doesn't mean you can't enjoy knitting and dominoes.  Many people don't have children whilst young so may want them when they are older, and having them when you are older is easier if your partner is young.  And it isn't just older men that look for young women, many older women look for young men for the same reasons.  Cultural references are not activities, which are what you are describing (though I don't know many people my age (60s) who spend a lot of time playing dominoes and knitting). I am talking about books read, plays seen, music listened to, events that happened, food fads, political movements etc. that have taken place over the last sixty or so years that my partner and I share a knowledge of and continued interest in. I have no objection to people of differing ages coupling up, though it would not be my personal choice for the reasons stated above. However, I don't think people in their sixties make good parents to very young children. I would go further and say I think it selfish to become a parent at this age. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Janus   28 #17 Posted December 23, 2014 It's taken me forty seven years plus to understand just the one and I'm nowhere near there yet. After many years practice I have managed to master "selective deafness" and the thought of a younger version to get used to simply fills me with fear and horror.  As a middle aged chap (with one of these ladies in her 20s) I reckon you could let go of the listening & speaking part of the relationship and consentrate on the important parts of the relationship;)  Same goes for you older ladies with the toy boy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
anfisa   10 #18 Posted December 23, 2014 Cultural references are not activities, which are what you are describing (though I don't know many people my age (60s) who spend a lot of time playing dominoes and knitting). I am talking about books read, plays seen, music listened to, events that happened, food fads, political movements etc. that have taken place over the last sixty or so years that my partner and I share a knowledge of and continued interest in. I have no objection to people of differing ages coupling up, though it would not be my personal choice for the reasons stated above. However, I don't think people in their sixties make good parents to very young children. I would go further and say I think it selfish to become a parent at this age.  Books read, plays seen, music listened to are also activities, and young people can have the same tastes in all three activities as someone that is older. I know plenty of couples that don't share the same political interests, food fads, TV and music interests, yet their relationship is thriving.  Surely a caring sixty year old parent is better than an uncaring 20 year old parent and if one parent is young then at least the child is unlikely to loose them both within close proximity to each other.  When you was a child would you have preferred a sixty year old parent or a young but absent parent. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
stressconsul   10 #19 Posted December 23, 2014 The most caring sixty year old parent is unlikely to have the stamina needed to consistently actively engage with a young child. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
anfisa   10 #20 Posted December 23, 2014 The most caring sixty year old parent is unlikely to have the stamina needed to consistently actively engage with a young child.  Yet they will still be more actively engaged than many younger parents and absent parents, many kids are brought up by grandparents because the parents are too busy working to makes ends meet, there are also plenty of sixty years olds with far more energy and time than many 20 year olds. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
PATHFINDER Â Â 10 #21 Posted December 23, 2014 I have no idea what you mean by cultural references in common. Â I know exactly what this means. If a guy is 60 and discussing things with a woman of the same age then they will have shared experience of (for example) when mini skirts came into fashion, when women started wearing tights and stopped wearing stockings, the fact that girls at school up to age 16 used to have to wear oatmeal socks (unbelievable in this day and age). Plus all the stuff to do with what music was current when they were both teenagers and in their early twenties so that if one of them made a comment about music saying, for example that a singer sounded like Stevie Winwood then there is a fair chance that the other one would a) remember and b) that comment would actually mean something to them from their experience of being alive at that time. Whereas a younger person is more likely to say (and this has happened to me at work) "Who is Bob Dylan - I've never heard of him?" Â That is what is meant by cultural references. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Ellco   10 #22 Posted December 23, 2014 Whatever it is people strive for the best available. Younger women are more attractive, as are younger men, so they are more sexually attractive. If you like driving you want a Porsche.. if your into property its just the same.. semi in Page Hall or detached in Ranmoor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
PATHFINDER Â Â 10 #23 Posted December 23, 2014 This whole topic reminds me of a saying from my great grandmother which was "cocks and hens, pairs their sens". Â Some people like older partners, some like younger and some prefer those of a similar age. We choose what we like or want depending on what is important to us. Â I have to say however, that in my opinion (as a female) of observing women choosing older men, there is nothing so appealing as a huge wallet. No female beds Bernie Ecclestone for his breath-takingly beautiful hairstyle or witty repartee. Its the strong attraction of kerrrching. Â My attitude is good luck to all of them, so long as people make each other happy then that's all that matters, regardless of age. There may be some biological imperative at work and fair enough if this is the case. But the reason why we choose who we choose will often be very complex and not simply down to biology. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Ellco   10 #24 Posted December 23, 2014 This whole topic reminds me of a saying from my great grandmother which was "cocks and hens, pairs their sens".  Some people like older partners, some like younger and some prefer those of a similar age. We choose what we like or want depending on what is important to us.  I have to say however, that in my opinion (as a female) of observing women choosing older men, there is nothing so appealing as a huge wallet. No female beds Bernie Ecclestone for his breath-takingly beautiful hairstyle or witty repartee. Its the strong attraction of kerrrching.  My attitude is good luck to all of them, so long as people make each other happy then that's all that matters, regardless of age. There may be some biological imperative at work and fair enough if this is the case. But the reason why we choose who we choose will often be very complex and not simply down to biology.  Its a fair trade. They wouldn't be with him if he was poor and he wouldn't be with them if they were ugly... so long as they all know this its up to them... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...