Advice needed- teacher/student affair

[RIZRAT 10]

He didnt force the girl. He tried it on and she said yes.

They had a relationship and if its such a problem now she has to admit to being partly to blame as she could have dealt with this years ago.

As for the teacher he wants sacking and charges brought for having under age sex with a pupil. Men like this are sad losers who cant get a women so goes looking for kids.

Pervert!

Wot spikeyhead said !!

[SFnewgirl 10]

He didnt force the girl. He tried it on and she said yes.

They had a relationship and if its such a problem now she has to admit to being partly to blame as she could have dealt with this years ago.!

 

Ever had something happen in your life that you could either address and torture yourself with 'what ifs' or buried it deep inside yourself only to have to face years down the line when all that bottling up explodes and you really can't take it anymore? If not I envy you.

 

Not that I should have to (as I only asked for advice not discussion of my moral standing) it has taken me a damn long time to realise the situation, he will be suspended, I am prepared to throw myself in the line of fire to get him convicted and go through the terrible ordeal of bringing it all up again. It was not a very nice experience and therefore not something that googling 'grooming' would have helped me to see the signs and stop it. At 15 I was not mature enough or mentally strong enough to refuse such advances and I now realise I shouldn't be damned for falling hook line and sinker. It has taken the [helpful] advice from forummers and a heart to heart with my oldest friend to give me the courage to stand up to realise I can sort it. I will keep you all updated as much as possible.

[SpikeyHead 10]

Ever had something happen in your life that you could either address and torture yourself with 'what ifs' or buried it deep inside yourself only to have to face years down the line when all that bottling up explodes and you really can't take it anymore? If not I envy you.

 

 

Please dont try and guilt me into feeling sorry for you. I do think what you both got up to at school was wrong but now you want to paint yourself as a victim. You need to get over it and stop dwelling. Let it go and as soon as you do your life will be so much better.

[SpikeyHead 10]

I am prepared to throw myself in the line of fire to get him convicted and go through the terrible ordeal of bringing it all up again.

 

You sound like you watch too many American tv programs.

If its going to be so trerrible then why open that can of worms?

[SFnewgirl 10]

You sound like you watch too many American tv programs.

If its going to be so trerrible then why open that can of worms?

 

Because it could have happened to countless girls since? Because I have to stop it, for the sakes of others, and I am now facing going through every single horrible thing in detail that happened throughout it to do the right thing morally.

 

If you have nothing helpful to say please don't troll on here it is very real situation and I needed very real advice.

[killa_ted 10]

well i think well done for finding the courage to stand up and bring this man justice.

i hope it all goes well for you and does'nt upset you to much but you are doing the right thing !

you are potentially stopping this man from harming other young girls and stopping other girls from having to make difficult positions like this.

 

thanks

[sophiec1979 10]

It has taken the [helpful] advice from forummers and a heart to heart with my oldest friend to give me the courage to stand up to realise I can sort it. I will keep you all updated as much as possible.

 

im glad that amongst some of the posts here you have been able to find the strength to make the decision you have- you are a very brave woman.

 

i hope you will allow your friends to be there to help you through what could potentially be a very difficult time. sometimes when we face stresses its very easy to shut out the rest of the world and not take advantage of the good things going on around us to take our minds off what is going on- even if its just for a few hours.

 

as for keeping people posted on here- i dont know that i would recommend that. possibly some selective messages may be appropriate if you know the people concerned, but ultimately, cyberspace is an anonymous place and you dont always know who you may be talking to. i would hate for you to give out information that may be best kept to yourself if you want to ensure youve done everything you can with the aid of the police and relevant authorities to make sure this man does face prosecution for what he has done.

 

i wish you all the very best with pursuing this- it must be a terrible dilemma to be in for anybody who has faced something like this...which for my twopenneth, is fundamentally, morally and legally wrong.

 

 

x

[GordonBennet 10]

Therapy has a lot to answer for. It looks to me like this girl has screwed up her own life and now she wants to get her revenge by screwing up the life of the man she had the fling with.

[sophiec1979 10]

Therapy has a lot to answer for. It looks to me like this girl has screwed up her own life and now she wants to get her revenge by screwing up the life of the man she had the fling with.

 

i certainly didnt get that impression from the posts made.

 

i actually got the feeling that this was a woman who had her life in order finally after being abused...and had finally decided she was strong enough to make a stand after being forced to deny the events previously.

 

i think thats very commendable, i just dont know why you have to be so negative about the whole matter.

 

 

x

[GordonBennet 10]

i certainly didnt get that impression from the posts made.

 

i actually got the feeling that this was a woman who had her life in order finally after being abused...and had finally decided she was strong enough to make a stand after being forced to deny the events previously.

 

i think thats very commendable, i just dont know why you have to be so negative about the whole matter.

 

x

 

Not negative, if anything I'm being positive! It looks like the OP is wanting to play the victim and is looking for sympathy but patting her on the head and going "oh poor you, did the nasty man do bad things to you?" isn't the answer. She needs to accept it happened, that she made a mistake and that bad relationships when you're young are all part of growing up. We've all had them.

 

She had a voluntary fling that started off as fun but ended badly. How is it helping anyone affected to drag up old wounds from years ago?

[Crayfish 10]

 

She had a voluntary fling that started off as fun but ended badly. How is it helping anyone affected to drag up old wounds from years ago?

 

Tentatively agree. Got to move on, no use dwelling on the past.