Advice on relationship breakdown

[fox20thc 10]

tbh Laugh its not going to get any worse that it is right now - you'll be fine and you can always come here to talk to us <<< hugs >>>

[medusa 16]

One thing that may help you is to spend some time by yourself thinking about what you actually need to tell him, rather than what your anger is trying to make you tell him right now.

 

One tool for doing this is to sit down, maybe after your son is in bed one night, and write everything that's getting to you down. All of it- good bad and otherwise- just pour it out. Once you've got to the end of the jumble of thoughts you can then read it back and work out which things you need to talk to him about, or tell him, and which things you're just angry or upset about and just needed to express.

 

Writing things down helps in this way, even if you have to do it every day to let the stress out. You don't have to send the letter you've written to him, it's often just enough for you to get it out of your head and commit it to paper- and it will help your understanding of where you are when you read it back after you've dumped it all on the page.

 

I'm sorry to hear that things haven't worked out. The other thing that sounds patronising but may help is that whilst this may feel like the end of the world, it probably isn't, and there will be days that feel better than today.

 

I hope you get a few of those soon.

[shaz123 10]

i was in your position a couple of years ago, i watched my ex pack all his stuff while i was in te house, i was in complete shock for days the the crying came i was heart broken but i came through inthe end, i thought my life was over, but now ive been able to move on, im now with a lovely man who i love dearly, sometimes these things happen for a reason better things to come ?take each day as it comes it will get better for you believe me i know, you will find love again .

[koenigsinger 10]

Sorry to hear about your situation laughalot, for what it's worth, there are many of us here on SF who have been where you are right now, so you will receive many many messages of support over the next few days, and many different viewpoints on how to handle the break up.

My advice is to take some comfort that you arent alone in your heartache and there are people who care about you and empathise with what you are going through. Read through everything that everyone has to offer, and cherry-pick the things that seem to make most sense to you.

Dont rush yourself into 'getting over it' because that will happen in its own time, but trust me , it will happen.

Accept all offers of help from close friends and family, however small, and dont be shy about asking for help, you arent being a burden, you are hurting and in need of the love of those near and dear, and they will not for one second consider you an inconvenience.

I wish you all the best, I hope you arent waiting too long for the closure, and the recovery, and I wish you love and happiness in the future.

 

Shaun

[mossy 76 10]

relationships stink becuse u spend so much time with each other then its all gone 1 of the bet ways to sort this is to change things take your son to the park things like that i now its bad at the moment but sounds like u have good frends on her so u be never alone be brave be stong love will come around the corner again you see big huggs

[laughalot01 10]

my partner decided to stay an sort things out we talked for ages took time out to listen to eachother but it didnt work less than wk later he is on his way back to sheffield as we speak

[shoegirl 10]

I think that it sounds like you gave the relationship a fair chance and if it still hasn't worked then surely it must be for the best. My advice would be to keep yourself busy and eventually look to trying something new, something to look forward too and get you a little bit excited again. After a similar experience I learnt to scuba dive. Picked it completely out of the air but it was something new to do for me. It's hard to force yourself into doing things when all you feel like doing is sitting/sleeping whatever - but I think it is important especially if you suffer from depression.

[oracle22 10]

Hi laugh, just been through the exact same thing and, yes, it does get easier!!

People will tell you lots of things, defferent ways of dealing with it. The best way for me was to keep busy, communicate with my friends/family and, most importantly, have a good cry whenever I wanted to!

 

Communication with your ex is also vital, especially if theres children involved. Just think of it like this, you're feeling the worst that you possibly could feel, but this will pass and it can only get better form now on!

 

Take care

[59779 10]

sometimes we need the time apart to realise what we had, my partner and i split up at christmas and being apart was awful but it made us realise that we'd taken our relationship and each other for granted and in turn we got back together after realising that we couldn't be without each other... hope things work out

[sheffchick 10]

My bf and I split up 3 weeks ago after being with eachother for a year..Its the worst feeling in the world heartbreak, I felt like my world had ended, I was just devastated. Thankfully friends helped by getting me out on the tiles and cheering me up. 3 weeks on and I still feel like pooh, the fact were still good friends is a help.

 

Hang on in there , im sure U will feel better soon.

 

[laughalot01 10]

the latest is he came bk down to try an on thurs he took family bk up to sheff an decided to tell me thurs nite via txt it was over nice man needles to say its well an truly ova now

[hmr44 10]

Aw, I'm ever so sorry Laughalot.

 

I don't know what advice I can give, as I'm still only young and my break ups don't involve children, houses etc. Nevertheless if I split up with my boyfriend I would be devastated! It's a hard thing to overcome but try and stay as busy as possible, spend lots of time with your son (as he's probably the most important thing in your world right now, and he'll be feeling the pain too) and just talk about it, to anybody, your parents, friends, even SF. Just get it out and people will be there for you.

 

Hope you're ok xXx