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Story - The Fly


Ron Blanco

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I notice there's a new P.G.Wodehouse series on telly. I liked the books but wasn't immediately bowled over by the first episode on TV. Ought to give it a chance, I suppose.

 

Here's my attempt at writing a wodehouse-inspired scene, based on two of his other characters:

 

 

The Fly

 

Chives appeared, more flustered than usual.

 

"Chives, swat that damned fly for me, there’s a good chap.” I gestured towards the speck on the pane.

 

“Very good, Sir,” he replied, moving towards the infested area. He assessed the situation and then strode to the magazine rack.

 

“This should suffice,” he said, with a hint of mischief in his voice. He picked out The Science of Life, and advanced towards the window. Deducing his intentions, I intervened.

 

“Good God, Man! Not that. It was a gift from HG Wells.”

 

He retraced his steps and plucked an alternative.

 

“The Illustrated London News, Sir?” he asked.

 

“Yes, yes,” I said, “but first show me the cover.”

 

He presented the face of the magazine towards me as if it were a vintage wine.

 

“Who is that, Chives?”

 

“I forget her name, Sir, but I believe she succeeded in flying from London to Australia.”

 

“Australia, you say. Bravo! In that case it would be disrespectful to smudge the old girl’s face, don’t you think?”

 

“As you wish, Sir. I will take care not to spoil the good lady’s visage.”

 

He rolled the magazine, with the back cover facing outwards. I continued reading, but was soon interrupted.

 

“The elusive insect appears to have moved, Sir.” He discerned my confusion, and continued. “Quite possibly, it has escaped through the open window.”

 

“The devious blighter. Well keep your eyes open in case it returns, Chives.”

 

“Of course, Sir. And if that’s all, Sir, then may I resume attending to the fire in the housekeeper’s quarters?”

 

“Yes, carry on, Chives.”

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