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Cold Wet Suits...

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I don't know if this is true, but it sure is funny!


If you don't laugh out loud after you read this

you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you

realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at

work think of this guy.


Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global

Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs

on offshore drilling rigs.


Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then

sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.

Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job

experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.


Hi Sue,


Just another note from your bottom-dwelling



Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know

> you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought

I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize

it's not so bad after all.


Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first

must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.


As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the

sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we

do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered

industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of

equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it

to a delightful temperature.


It then pumps it down to the diver through a

garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this

sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several

times with no complaints.


What I do, when I get to the bottom and start

working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back

of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm

water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.


Everything was going well until all of a sudden,

my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched

it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds

my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from

my back, but the damage was done. In agony I

realized what had happened.


The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish

and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have

any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to

it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.


When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was

actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my



I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over

the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to

the fact that he, along with five other divers, were

all laughing hysterically.


Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was

instructed to make three agonizing in-water

decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes

before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber

dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing

nothing but my brass helmet.


As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with

tears of laughter running down his face,

handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on

my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.


The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop

for two days because my butt was swollen shut.


So, next time you're having a bad day at work,

think about how much worse it would be if you had a

jellyfish shoved up your butt.


Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my

job, I love my job."


Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is

this a jellyfish bad day?



May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day

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