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Proud to Be British!!!

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We are so proud to be British because.................


* Only in Britain can a Pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


* Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


* Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet Coke.


* Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters


* Only in Britain do we leave thousands of pounds worth of cars on the drive and lock our cheap lawnmowers, Christmas decorations and other junk in the garage.


* Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.


* Only in Britain do we have disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.





* 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.


* 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from new shirts.


* 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.


* 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.


* 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.


* British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.


* 101 people since 1999 have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.


* 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouths.


* A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.


* 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.



And finally......................


* In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up in the loo.

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Did you know that a few years ago in some areas of GB there was a sudden rise in incidences of older people, mainly women, arriving at a&e with broken wrists?


It transpired that it coincided with the introduction of wheelie bins and they had been trying to clean the inside while standing on something, slipped and ended up with broken bones.


Humans hey, don't you love them?

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