If someone is not born into a Japanese family, should they be punished for not speaki

[koenigsinger]

Indeed so. We are ALL unique and we should all celebrate that uniqueness in ourselves and in others.

 

StarSparkle

 

purely as an observer, I think that the OP may be struggling with their uniqueness at the moment, which is sad, but not something I dont understand. I have felt that isolation, feeling like a misfit, desperately trying to rework myself in order to interact and commune with those around me, to no avail. It was only when I realised that my individuality was the most wonderful aspect of me, that I began to feel more comfortable and began to find the connections that I craved. I hope the OP can find their sense of wonder at their uniqueness, and find the connections that will make them fulfilled. take heart, courage and trust in those who care.

[Bago]

People like this woman is very rare, due to many reasons. I would say that she has assimilated truly into the culture 100%. Maybe this is because she has lived there from birth to now, and never been anywhere else.

 

There are a lot of "International Schools" in HK. Many opened by missionaries from a long time ago. So therefore, many road signs and buildings have both English and Chinese translations. (Perfectly done may I add. As opposed to the Pidgin English used in many other British Commonwealth countries.)

 

I guess there will forever be discriminations. I've resided to that fact of life now. It's always going to be a case of either your culture, or my culture.

 

Maybe 2 or 3 generations down, there will be more British Born Ethnic Minorities who are fully integrated and adopted the British culture. Yet, when they visit oversea and try to integrate with people of the same race, they will be seen as a stranger, especially when they have different cultural nuances. So you can't really fully integrate anywhere if you move around a lot. That's the crux of it.

[StarSparkle]

Thanks Starsparkle, that's exactly what I was getting at. It was a metaphor. The funny thing is, if you have certain labels then you are 'allowed' to feel that way, but if you don't have the right label your feelings are invalid.

 

I just don't know what I'm supposed to do about it anymore.

 

I do understand where you're coming from, Purdy. I've felt like an outsider in my life too. I've never been good socially - I've always found others hard to understand, and they haven't seemed to understand me, either. It was almost like there was this secret language that others shared, like automatically being able to read body language, that I was excluded from. Like I was a visitor from Mars, or something. The unspoken communication that says so much more, and is so much more accurate, than what is actually verbalised.

 

Some people are so closed-minded they don't want to deal with people who aren't a clone of themselves, but there are those out there who will understand you and be able to empathise with you, Purdy. It's a matter of finding them and connecting with them. Good luck

 

StarSparkle

[StarSparkle]

purely as an observer, I think that the OP may be struggling with their uniqueness at the moment, which is sad, but not something I dont understand. I have felt that isolation, feeling like a misfit, desperately trying to rework myself in order to interact and commune with those around me, to no avail. It was only when I realised that my individuality was the most wonderful aspect of me, that I began to feel more comfortable and began to find the connections that I craved. I hope the OP can find their sense of wonder at their uniqueness, and find the connections that will make them fulfilled. take heart, courage and trust in those who care.

 

Beautifully said, Sharpsinger.

 

StarSparkle

[koenigsinger]

Beautifully said, Sharpsinger.

 

StarSparkle

 

I just dont like to see anyone feeling so hurt and isolated, it touches me on such a deep level that I have to try and do or say something to bring even a glimmer of positivity into the mix.

as I said, been there, done that, wore the t shirt with the heart on the sleeve.

[Nabsdabs1@ti]

I just dont like to see anyone feeling so hurt and isolated, it touches me on such a deep level that I have to try and do or say something to bring even a glimmer of positivity into the mix.

as I said, been there, done that, wore the t shirt with the heart on the sleeve.

second that and the previous comment ! at some stage in our lives we all realise our worth and recognise that we are all special and worthy:thumbsup:

[Plain Talker]

My son and his Japanese wife are here on a visit funnily enough so when they come back I will ask him for his comments on this....He might understand it more than me.

 

OOh, how lovely for you, joanl.

 

seeing as your son and I were classmates at school, do, please, remember me to him! lol

 

Hope he and his Missus have a fabbo visit over here, and that you have a fantastic time with them.

 

PT

[Cyclone]

If it weren't an analogy for something else then I'd probably say, if they made all that effort and were snubbed, then why would they carry on trying, they'd probably turn around and go back to their home culture.

[Bago]

Yet, if you're stuck here, and can't go back. You're resorted to seeing and experiencing it everyday... you will just end up bottling your feelings and become resentful. Therefore alienating yourself further. Or you find other outlets and that touch of humanity and maybe express it in a different form, like art? Or even spirituality.

[purdyamos]

Starsparkle, Sharpsinger, Nabsdabs, thank you for your kind words. What you've described is ideally how the world should be, and how I've spent the best part of my life trying to believe is true. But the real world doesn't operate that way. I'm an amazing human being in so many ways, but people don't want that unless it's *useful*. People can be users and liars, selfish and dishonest, but as long as they've been bred into the cultural norm, their face will fit and they can get away with anything and gel with the *normal* group. They would rather surround themselves with people who have terrible flaws, but are fluent in Japanese, than genuinely accept someone with talents and qualities but who speaks with a foreign accent. That is the way of the world, I just wish the world would be honest about it.

 

There is nothing further that I can do, study, no action I have not tried, no more advice I can try to follow or example I can emulate to get the sort of results most people take for granted. I have high-calibre professionals who know me well, know how hard I have worked, the high-level skills I have attained, my list of great attributes, and they cannot understand why the Japanese don't want me as part of their society. It is an invisible cultural repellence that I cannot learn my way out of. My culture has a bad smell that I can't seem to wash away.

 

Thanks again for taking the time to respond everyone. I appreciate it.

 

xxx