Unsupervised/Home alone - when is it acceptable?

[Ally68 10]

There are a few factors to consider when deciding when it is OK for a child to be left alone. One is the kind of area you live in, I live in a small town where people actually talk to the neighbours Another is whether the child is confident of being alone and also that you can trust him/her not to open the door to anyone. My two older children are 10 and 8 and they are OK on their own if I have to pop out to the shops. My youngest is 4 (going on 14) and has to come with me for the ride

[beckelina 10]

My parents went away on holiday for a week without us when I was 15 and my sister was 17 - my sister could drive and we had friends down the road calling to check on us.

It wasn't as good fun as it could have been as we were at school all week and working all weekend. A big reality check about the rest of my life actually!

[wuduswitch 10]

My two lads were trusted from the age of 8/10 yrs, my daughter, who's just turned 14 no way at the moment

[Dozy 11]

I don't have children either but what do you define as a child. My neighbour has a 15 year old who has never been on a bus. Still delivered to school by car and ferried about by parents so bad men don't get her.

 

I know what you mean. I once worked with someone who was always in after 9.00 because she had to drive her 14/15 year old daughter to school. I always assumed the child had some sort of learning disability, and couldn't manage on a bus on her own. I was flabbergasted to find out that the girl had no problems, but mum wasn't about to let her go anwhere on her own. She had to be driven everywhere.

 

Over-protectiveness doesn't do children any good - they do eventually have to learn to do things for themselves, and without any previous experience of coping they must surely find it difficult.

 

I wonder if that's why some students turn into mindless idiots and start acting like naughty 8-year olds, eg: throwing water bombs. Is it because they've never been treated like a responsible person, so don't know how to behave like one?

 

Dozy

[JBee 10]

I think it very much depends on the circumstances, how mature the child is, the location where they will be alone, ect. but I voted 8-12. I think it would be fine to leave a mature 10-year-old alone in the house while you popped to the shops.

 

I was pretty shocked when I first heard the news that Maddy's parents had left her and her two younger siblings alone, as I really think that three-years-old and below is too young to be left without someone at least in the next room. Not with a view to the child being abducted, as you never expect a thing like that, but more in terms of accidents if one of them woke up and started wandering around the apartment.

 

Having said all that, I think the level of condemnation they have received so soon after the event, when their child is still missing, is a bit inappropriate. I think what they have been going through for the last few weeks, and what they will have to live with for the rest of their lives, is enough without people and organisations like the NSPCC laying the blame on.

[Halibut 12]

I voted in the 8 - 12 bracket - I'm fortunate in that my daughter (nine going on ten) is very sensible, calm and mature for her age, so I don't have any concern about nipping out to do some shopping for half an hour and leaving her in the house. I'm also quite happy to let her go out to the local shops by herself or with a friend.

[bagger 10]

I have a 15 year old daughter and a 4 year old daughter.

 

I didn't let my elder daughter stay in the house on her own until she was 12. And then only for short periods.

 

Obviously my younger daughter isn't ever left unattended but I don't even leave her in the care of her elder sister.

The reason being that if there were an accident would my eldest be able to cope and is it fair to place that responsibility on her?

Obviously she could cope with simple stuff like tending to the little one if she fell over etc but what about things like choking etc.

[Jabberwocky 46]

Im 46 and my OH hates to leave me home alone.

 

Id say 15+, I just dont trust anyone younger even though Id probably be proved wrong by lots of 12 year olds out there, theyre certainly more mature than I was at that age.

[lyndix 10]

I voted 12-15, but think that each child is different as some mature quicker than others!

[willman 10]

I

I wonder if that's why some students turn into mindless idiots and start acting like naughty 8-year olds, eg: throwing water bombs. Is it because they've never been treated like a responsible person, so don't know how to behave like one?

 

Dozy

 

 

no its because they were left alone to behave responsibly or suffer the consequences from being 8 years old. now that there are no repercussions they can behave in the child like manner that they were prohibited from at the time.

[Zebra 10]

I voted 12 - 15. I work with kids and my experience is that under 12s are rarely ok for several hours though I agree short periods for 10 y/o could be ok if they are the right kind of child.

Generally speaking 12 - 15 for a few hours but I would say not late, no later than 10pm for a 15 y/o.

Having said that I know someone who couldn't make it back from her overnight stay elsewhere and called her (rather juvenile) 15 y/o daughter and told her to stay at her aunts. No contact with the aunt though. The aunt had gone on holiday, the child let herslf in the house, tried to call Mum who had now turned her phone off so child stayed alone. She could have gone to a different aunts, my house, her fathers house, various places, but she stayed alone. Nothing happened but I'm amazed. She isn't a responsible child at all.

But then I can't work out who is worse, the child or the mother. I wasn't happy when I found out.

[Bloomdido 10]

I was left on my own from 6 years old when my Ma had a part-time job from 12 til 2 during school holidays. I was left alone when my parents went to the pub which I was ok about but if the fuse box had caught fire half an hour later, I would have been 12 year-old toast.