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Share the old sayings that your gran used to say.

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Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs!

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My great gran was from the North East and according to her you either looked

 

pasty (thin and pale)

 

or

 

fat as butter

 

Never an in between.

 

"Eeee you look fat as butter pet" :hihi:

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My Dad always told me to "use your loaf", if I said something daft

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Tha moant come runnin t me when tha breaks thi leg.

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My Dad always told me to "use your loaf", if I said something daft

 

My grandad used to say 'Go boil yer 'ead!' when we asked a question he considered stupid.

 

I had nightmares about the practicalities of that instruction.

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When I asked my grandmother if she knew someone that I vaguely knew, her response sometimes was 'has he only got one top lip and walks on his feet a lot ?' When I queried this (at the age of about 9) she'd go on 'yes, he used to mangle our pots, got t'sack for eating t'soap'

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'Cast ne'er a clout till May be out'.

 

(Good advice anywhere north of Nottingham).

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"Weerz Dad gone?"

"Gone to see a man about a dog"

She said it all the time,yet we never owned a dog lol.

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not so much as saying but I do remember this .

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,

I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;

The Admission is free, so pay at the door,

Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

 

One fine day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight;

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

 

A blind man came to watch fair play,

A mute man came to shout "Horray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise and

Came to stop those two dead boys.

 

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,

In a two-story house on a vacant lot;

A man with no legs came walking by,

and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

 

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,

into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;

The long black hearse came to cart him away,

But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

 

I watched from the corner of the big round table,

The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;

But if you doubt my lies are true,

Just ask the blind man, she saw it too.

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My nan's parting words used to be "Be good. If you can't be good, be careful."

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Never had a gran (mother's mother) - she'd died before I was born.

 

My nana (father's mother) used to have the two following gems

 

It's just as cold/hot for the rest of us (as a response to complaints about the weather)

 

They're all right in their way, it's just that their way's not much.

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'First up, best dressed'.

 

(That was certainly true in our house at least as far as socks were concerned).

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