Forgot where you come from

[datal 10]

Plain Talker,

I feel for you & your situation & especially your cousin, i can imagine what she is going thro' & hope the pain she is probably suffering, subsides with the passage of time.

 

As for my lack of roots & far from conventional beginning, it didn't stop me from leading a respectable & contributing existence, mainly thanks to my lovely adopted mum & dad, as some in my position sadly fall by the wayside.

 

Datal.

[Joanl 12]

Joanl,

 

I was at school with your son and daughter, (as you know!) and I have to say, you are so right. Like my parents did with me, and my sisters, you brought your children up properly, to be well-behaved, and polite.

 

They are, definitely a credit to you, then and now, you have every right to take pride in that.

 

It's just such a pity that other people can't or won't put as much care into the raising, and particularly the control, of their children, as our parents did for us.

 

PT

 

Thanks PT and now I'm wondering if the OP has had problems with her/his own children and she/he is asking us if we have forgotten what it was like to be a child, or maybe she is a young person asking the same thing, to excuse herself/himself for something that she/he herself/himself has got into trouble for.

Probably with someone that in the OP's eyes thinks they are better than they are and how dare they say that sort of thing.

I could be totally wrong, but they haven't been back to elaborate have they.

[Plain Talker 11]

Plain Talker,

I feel for you & your situation & especially your cousin, i can imagine what she is going thro' & hope the pain she is probably suffering, subsides with the passage of time.

 

As for my lack of roots & far from conventional beginning, it didn't stop me from leading a respectable & contributing existence, mainly thanks to my lovely adopted mum & dad, as some in my position sadly fall by the wayside.

 

Datal.

 

I hurt for her, datal. I also miss having contact with her.

 

She is a little older than me, and she was very close to my late mother. (and me) but since this "bust-up" some years ago, she has had nothing to do with any of us.

 

I can sort of understand her pain, and how she must have felt betrayed, everyone else but her knowing the truth of her origins. and I think it was cruel that she was not told, and that the family were also cruel to us young'uns to force us to keep this secret, that needn't have been one.

 

It must have been awful for her to come across the truth, only after her own (Adoptive) mother died, and to discover that everything you believed about your family must have been based on a tissue of lies and deceit. I am sure it will have rocked her to her foundations (well, obviously, considering the strength of her reaction) to find that things weren't as she thought.. indeed SHE herself was not who or what she thought she was.

 

I have three friends who were adopted. For two of them, it was a most positive experience, being placed into loving, nurturing families. as one of them said, her siblings were all either in institutions (hospitals), or foster care, she was the only one out of them all who was given up, and was provided wioth a stable family, and the opportunities to make something of herself. She knew the truth from an early age, that she was not the biological of her parents, but was secure knowing they "chose" her, and "wanted" to provide a loving home for her. it was the same positivity, and nurturing with my second friend.

 

The third friend had a dreadful experience of being adopted. Her adoptive parents were little better than sadists. She was beaten, and abused by them, suffering mental torture, on top of the physical. I'm not tlaking about her being a disturbed child, who was "thrashed" because she would provoke the parents, I mean she was beaten systematically. At the age of five she was made to skiivvy for them. (and again, i don't mean that her parents expected her to do age-appropriate chores, like helping pick her own toys up of the floor, etc, like a normal parent would have a child do. I mean proper-Skivvy, scrubbing floors etc.) They were swines to her. There was nothing positive she got out of it, except perhaps the ability to be able to run her own home, efficiently and independently at the age of fifteen, when she ran away. and TBH, i don't see it as positive, either:- IMO, it's not the sort of burden a 16 yr old should have to shoulder. again, age appropriate tasks, chores, yes, fine, like keeping their own room tidy, vacuuming the floor, assisiting in preparing a meal, lying a table, sure, that doesn't hurt a child in contributing to the household, but, skivvying.. no!

 

Datal, I am so glad you are positive about the parents that took you on. hold on to that, and be psoitive, rather than holding on to the negative, and unacceptable treatment you recieved from the birth family members with whom you had contact.

[max 13]

I was born in a stately home and have never forgotten my roots: Flete House

 

My father did 'something' in the ministry of defence and we travelled the world living in far flung outposts of the British Empire. My roots could be described as unusual but I still have an affinity and care for humanity even though I was treated as an outsider at all my schools.

 

PS The stately home was used as a nursing home after the war which is why Dave Hill from Slade and I were born there.

[katy1981 10]

ill never forget where i came from, well where i was brought up.................

 

a 3 bedroom terrace house in darnall with my 6 sisters and 1 brother and my mother and farther.

ill never forget the years of work my mother did to pay for my farthers growing alcohol habit.

i remember having fights with my sisters over who got to wear the shoes that had half the sole still attached (we couldnt afford brand new ones all the time).

And christmas in those years will never leave me (dad walkin in three hours late for dinner steaming drunk and falling through the dinning table, squashing the turkey, rolling over the cat then into the fire and setting his beard on fire (all the whisky he had dribbled onto it probably didnt help ) then slapping my mother for her attempt to put the fire out with a pan of water

 

so no i doubt i will ever forget where i came from

[poppins 10]

How can anyone forget where they came from If I had been born into a wealthy family and then married poor I still wouldn't forget where I came from

[debsutd 10]

I was born in raised in ATTERCLIFFE

 

 

i too was born and raised in attercliffe until i was 12, i also remember the tin bath in the big kitchen on sunday nights, me my 2 brothers and my sister

i also did as i was told cos in those days if you did anything wrong you got a clip round the ear i will always remember where i came from, how well my parents brought us all up on very poor wages but we always seem to have a laugh and enjoy life nowadays it seems that people are too busy to enjoy life

[Minesadouble 10]

I live about 600yrds from where I came from, so NO, it's impossible for me to forget

[Jabberwocky 46]

Im quite proud of being dropped and dragged up on the Cross. Im more proud of that fact than I am of the history of my family that came previous to it.

[debsutd 10]

Im quite proud of being dropped and dragged up on the Cross. Im more proud of that fact than I am of the history of my family that came previous to it.

 

i lived on the cross from being 12 til i got married at 18 my parents still live there 31 years later

[Dozy 11]

Im quite proud of being dropped and dragged up on the Cross. .

 

Wow - you're a film star as well?

 

 

Dozy

[Jabberwocky 46]

Im a little more sophisticated than that:

 

 

Parson cross hotel, saturday nights...