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What do you think about suicide?

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I've had three separate experiences relating to suicide, all very different.

 

The first was when I was 11; my maternal grandmother took an alcohol-and-paracetamol overdose which resulted in her death. She'd been manic-depressive for years. Whether she knew what she was doing when she did it is debatable. I feel sad that she didn't get the help that she needed, and that I didn't know her when she was mentally healthy.

 

The second was when I was 18. A friend at University knocked on my door one night, distraught because her clingy and somewhat neurotic boyfriend had sent her a long letter that started, "By the time you read this, I will be dead, having driven my car into a tree.."

He hadn't, because she'd borrowed his car, but she was very upset. For my part, I was furious that he'd be so selfish as to send her something like that. I ranted for a while about what a self-centred, selfish, uncaring b*****d he was. She split up with him shortly after that. As of three years ago, he was still alive.

 

The third was several years later, when I was 23.

I was living in a shared house with 4 others. The youngest, Nate, was 18, and I suspect he was borderline manic-depressive too. Another housemate, Jen, knocked on my door one day to tell me she'd found Nate at the top of the stairs the previous night with a dressing gown cord in his hands. She'd asked him what he was doing, and he mumbled something unintelligible and sloped off to bed. She didn't know what to do, so I took matters into my own hands and called his parents. Worst call I've ever had to make. I got them both on the phone at the same time, and told them I had to speak to them about Nate because we were very worried. His mum immediately burst into tears and said, "Oh god, he's on drugs, isn't he?" Telling them he was potentially suicidal was even worse. His dad had to do all the talking, because he mum was just incapable of it. Thankfully, they were immensely grateful - so much so that I felt like a complete heel for having to speak to them. It was shortly before Christmas, so they were able to find out what was troubling him over the holidays. We didn't find him on the stairs at night again after that.

 

Overall, I don't think there's any way suicide can be categorised. Sometimes it's selfish. Sometimes it's down to sickness. Sometimes it's a personal choice, i.e. euthanasia. I don't think there'll ever be a right moral answer for it.

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My dad commited suicide when i was 17, never have found out as to why he did it but completely set my life back.

 

My views is that while it seems the only way out for someone the effects it has on others is horrible, i wouldn't wish it on anyone.

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Why?

 

What's 'selfish and cowardly' about not wanting to endure a drawn out painful death if you are unlucky enough to have a degenerative condition with absolutely no hope of anything but a prolonged and deeply unpleasant decline?

 

In such circumstances surely a simple injection allowing you to end your life painlessly and with some semblance of dignity would be preferable.

 

My life is my own and I should have the right to end it if I so choose, nobody has a right to keep me alive against my will if the life remaining to me would involve nothing but pain and suffering.

again i agree completely

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My life is my own and I should have the right to end it if I so choose, nobody has a right to keep me alive against my will if the life remaining to me would involve nothing but pain and suffering.

 

Actually, our beloved govenment has the right, at least the legal right (which is little more than the exercise of power, ala. 'do what i say, or else') to decide for you, that you can't do it ...

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I've dealt with suicide and attempted suicide on more than one occasion and even though I had no emotional attachment with the people who attempted it and in all cases I can honestly say it affected me.

 

I can understand how and why people get to that state of mind but what I can't equate is how they can be so bloody selfish to leave their problems + 1 to others to pick up. It's the correlation between being in a very dark place and having the courage to deal with it and being in a very dark place and saying "Screw it, I'll let someone else find my body and the blood up the walls, ceiling and floor" that I find difficult :|

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it is understandable why some people do it.

 

it is also, in many cases, a really selfish act.

 

sometimes the person is in the clutches on mental illness and isnt deciding upon a rational course of action...other times it is well planned and rationalised...

 

sometimes the world is better off without those who top themselves, and sometimes the world loses a good person.

 

its a horrible, murky subject, and perhaps more of us than admit it have sometimes hovered over the thought...

 

but ultimately, it can rarely be the right thing to do, and its really sad that some people feel they have no other way out.

 

te ones who annoy me though, are 'cry for help'-ers...if you are goin to take this massive step, and end it all...at least do it PROPERLY. and dont waste our time trying to garner attention.

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Many years ago, when I was a student, I got home from lectures one evening to find a note under my door from a fellow two doors down saying he'd taken a mixture of booze and paracetamol.

 

Whether it was a genuine attempt to kill himself or a 'para-suicide' sort of cry for help I've never worked out, as by all rights I shouldn't have been back at my Hall of residence when I was there.

 

Anyway, long story short, got him to hospital, saved his scrawny neck and I grew up very quickly. I'm still angry with him after 27 years. A lot of 'stuff' in my life came out of what he did, and none of the reasons for his actions were anything to do with me. He was out of hospital partying within hours. I was ****ed up beyond all recognition for months.

 

Over the next few months he sort of attached himself to me and he spent time in hospital as the paracetamol went for his liver, and he was lucky to survive.

 

I regard his actions as selfish and hard to forgive - and I know this makes me sound like a right 24-carat *******. Whilst I can see that people are in a very horrible place, the pain they inflict on others around them is massive. I cannot imagine a circumstance in which I would inflict that on people - I've been depressed myself and even when I was in the depths of it I couldn't imagine hurting my loved ones like that.

 

What I WOULD agree totally with is that we make certain subjects too difficult for many people to talk about, and this drives people in to the dark places within them.

 

Reminds me of my experience with my dad years ago - I was twenty (I think)

 

He left left my mum (and me) and was camping out in his office/workshop ...

I saw him that night, and agreed to meet him next morning. When I got home after seeing him, I phoned to say goodnight .. he sounded very sleepy.. and odd..

 

Next morning, I phoned to say I was late but on my way (it was two bus rides away)

 

No answer... at that time of day? Alarm bells in my head.... I gathered a few hand tools - somehow I just 'knew'

 

...And yes, I did need the tools to break into his office, and yes, he was on the foor, overdosed and in a coma, ****** himself and vomited, and yes, I did have to get the ambulance, and yes he did spend time in psychiatric beacause of it...

 

But the biggest thing? The ******* must have known full well that his son would find him in the morning.

 

*******.

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I can hardly believe the leaps of imagination/speculation going on here.

 

It is impossible to distinguish between the 'cries for help' suicides, and the serious ones - unless they tell - which is difficult for the successful ones to do. And those that survive serious suicide attempts may just tell loved ones that they didn't want to die really - when really - they did want to die.

 

All of this macho posturing makes me sick. And only shows the crass insensitivity of some people. Selfishness, is not giving the time to try to understand the turmoil and suffering that torments some people to the point of suicide. Whether they're successful or not, whether they are asking for help or not, how can anyone judge such pain so carelessly?

 

And if your anger and scorn is a smokescreen to hide your guilt at not being there for your friend/family member, let it go; we had some of that for long enough after our friend died; as long as you gave them love and friendship whilst they lived there is most often little you could have done.

 

Predicting the future is a fairly difficult trick, I sincerely hope that you 'tough' androids never see the extremes of despair and desolation that some others, unfortunately can neither escape, nor deal with..

 

This post is not aimed at any particular individual.

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as long as you gave them love and friendship whilst they lived there is most often little you could have done.

 

I agree.

 

I was very close to suicide myself about 18 months ago. I didn't share this information with anyone, and I still haven't. I have a very loving and supporting family, a wife and great children. A lot of things piled up at once, and I found it difficult to cope. I became depressed, then severely depressed, and for several months I was suicidal. I had planned how, where and when to do it. I wasn't going to tell anyone, but I was just waiting for the "sign" to do it. Luckily one never came, and after medication and counselling I came through.

 

I have never been able to tell my family that I wanted to kill myself, simply because now I'm well again, I feel that I betrayed them.

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To be honest, Its always been something Ive thought of as the cowards way out... but then again there have been instances where Ive thought it was the right thing to do. For instance, the people who jumped out of windows when the trade centre was hit. I would do that as apposed to burn to death.

 

A few years ago, when I lived abroad, We lived in Southern Africa in the early to mid 90s, when AIDS was known but still kinda being ignored by a lot fo the local africans, We knew a French man, who was a lovely bloke, but I must admit i put it around quite a bit. Anyway, he found out he had contracted AIDS, so killed himself. In that case, I think i would probably do that to

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Actually, our beloved govenment has the right, at least the legal right (which is little more than the exercise of power, ala. 'do what i say, or else') to decide for you, that you can't do it ...

I'm aware of the current legal situation, I was referring to moral rights.

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Hi All,

 

Without trying to be too depressing, I recently started studying Mental Health, and I have an assignment titled "Society's views on suicide".

 

So I'd appreciate any comments you have: good or bad. Your thoughts on the victim, the victims family, people affected by the incident (especially the train driver in cases where person has jumped in front of train or the person who finds the victim), and the method of suicide would be very useful.

 

Thanks.

 

I would like to help you on this via pm if possible as I have tried it at least 5 times so I'll be probably be more use to you than someone who hasnt.

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