nick2 10 #25 Posted April 9, 2007 A lot of couples watch pornography together, and I think that is an ideal situation. you get some good ideas from watching porn films together. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Grandad.Malky 11 #26 Posted April 9, 2007 I went into WHS and said in quite a loud voice, "do we have to have these magazines for frigid men where schoolkids can see them" (you could hear a pin drop) Maybe its you that’s frigid, why did you feel the need to publicly make a statement like that. “Sex” is on the front page of many magazines, from teen mags right through to lads mags, its not only top shelf stuff which should have opaque covers on them. Maybe WHS should stop selling all mags with the picture of partially dressed women on the front. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Bago 10 #27 Posted April 9, 2007 I hate these threads, I do. It always end up in this kind of scenario... Someone thinks that porn is being supported, and others think that porn is being criticised. Then someone will forget that the OP started the thread asking for support on some emotional level or other, and she would feel agitated about it. I've never had any discussion of "porn" this openly until I came on the SF. Yes, initially, I find it intriguing, but nowadays, I find it too overbearing. There is definitely a crowd which supports porn and men all the way. I rather be ignorant, and have things remain private and for such issues to be dealt with privately. If I can't deal with that with my bf, then I shouldn't be in that relationship. If something do not feel right about it, get out is what I say. People joke about the net and porn. I too find this funny, but when it's within the context of your own relationship with your own emotions flying around, then it isn't so funny. I do sympathsize. Ignorance is bliss within the context of a relationship. I can now understand why most men just keep schtum rather than land themselves in it by defending it. I guess it depends on how your partners takes it, but it is also how you deal with the situation too. It doesn't take away the negative feelings that the action has generated. Maybe in a very very strong and steady relationship, then this does not matter, but it does take a lot to overcome that worry, and actually be propelled into areas of life which you never thought could. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Bago 10 #28 Posted April 9, 2007 Yeah thats where it starts to get nasty doesnt it. There are ... must be hundreds of different reasons why this happens, the trick is to find out the reason. It's not for a public enquiry. Some things should remain private for couples and individuals, don't you think ? Individuals should not be co-erced into feeling and thinking a certain way just because everybody elses does it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
plekhanov 10 #29 Posted April 9, 2007 What would you do if u found that your lover was reading pornography? Would you think if he's not interested in you? Men looking at porn is pretty standard behaviour both in and out of relationships and whilst like most things porn usage can be problematic and could possibly indicate that the user in question is not interested in their partner there's no reason to assume that this is the case. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Bago 10 #30 Posted April 9, 2007 you get some good ideas from watching porn films together. Some people rather you talk together about it...and tries in a practical way, rather than watch a vid secretively or fantasize away from your partner who does have feelings and is a person too. Human respect and respect for individual's privacy thoughts and fantasies are underrated in this country. Not everything is shared shared. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Cyclone 10 #31 Posted April 9, 2007 Thanks Cyclone for the link of the existig thread. My friend is really fed up with this. She has found a lot of pictures and even movies in her bf's PC. He seems to have looked at them quite often. She's worrying to break their relationship if she tells him. But if not, then he might get into it which might turn out to be another problem:huh: I dont know what advice I could give her. I dont mind my lover looking at porn pictures or magazine for fun or fantasy 'daydreaming'. But if he saved them all and even movies in his PC, I would really have concerns! I wouldn't worry, it's perfectly normal. The internet was invented for porn afterall. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Cyclone 10 #32 Posted April 9, 2007 Some people tolerates it cos they love their partners, even though they dislike it. On some level, it can be considered as emotional blackmail, but there you go... You're talking nonsense. It would only be blackmail if it was used thus "I'm going to watch porn if you don't go and wash the pots right this second". If the girl in question is weary, then obviously her perception of things do not match that of her bf. Yet, does she need to be? She is entitled to her instincts. No matter how many other strangers think that it should be classed as "normal" and feel that she should just accepts it. "Your porn or our relationship." Great. If she's weary, she should have a snooze. If she's wary then she should try talking to her boyfriend. Making ultimatums is a rather intollerant way to approach any 'problem' and likely to backfire one day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Cyclone 10 #33 Posted April 9, 2007 Some people rather you talk together about it...and tries in a practical way, rather than watch a vid secretively or fantasize away from your partner who does have feelings and is a person too. Human respect and respect for individual's privacy thoughts and fantasies are underrated in this country. Not everything is shared shared. Why does it have to be secretly? And what else is a man supposed to do when his partner declares that she has a headache or she's washing her hair? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Lindos 10 #34 Posted April 9, 2007 Some people rather you talk together about it...and tries in a practical way, rather than watch a vid secretively or fantasize away from your partner who does have feelings and is a person too. Nick2 was responding to my idea that couples can watch porn together, not in secret!. Of course that wont suit every one, but I think it's quite normal. Assuming both parties are agreeable and enjoy this, they may learn new things.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
nick2 10 #35 Posted April 9, 2007 Some people rather you talk together about it...and tries in a practical way, rather than watch a vid secretively or fantasize away from your partner who does have feelings and is a person too. I did say "watching it together" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Lindos 10 #36 Posted April 9, 2007 I don't understand you say it would be ideal (!) to watch it together, but if you had a real partner it wouldn't be an alternative If both parties enjoy blue movies, then the ideal would be to watch them together, n'est pas? Obviously not if one of the parties is not happy with that...I'm looking for ways a couple could be closer, not alienate each other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
